I just found out my mother died 6 years ago. What do I do?

[Austin10]

As the title says. I just recently found out that my mother died. I didn't really keep in touch with her very much over the years while I was in the Air Force. I was curious where she was and if she was ok, so I looked up her previous address online and found out she was deceased. I verified this by checking the social security death index.

I am 27 years old and had no ill intent towards my mother, we just lost touch over the years. I really just want to know how she died and where she was buried. I don't even know if she had a will, life insurance or anything else set up.

The only information I do know is she owned a townhome at the time of her death. After checking records I found that there was a chapter 13 bankruptcy filed but I don't know if this is something she would of done, or was done her behalf.

I also have no information on any of her relatives. She was adopted and her mother is dead. I do know her brother is still alive and was probably the person that claimed her for the death certificate, but I am unable to locate him. His records have pretty much disappeared since 2005.

I have no idea what to do, any help would be appreciated. I always assumed my mother just found some new man and was in love and in her own world, I never even thought that she would of died.

If you didn't take the time while she was alive, what are you looking for now? Money from her estate?

You didn't think she'd die? What did you think? She'd live forever? People die. It's the one guarantee about being born.

Why not be more concerned with having your own private memorial for her as a remembrance?

Assuming got you plenty of surprise, didn't it?

[Austin10]

If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all.

I already said she filed bankruptcy, so why would I care about anything in her estate?

If you must know, my parents split when I was very young. I only saw my mother on holidays and during the summer when I was out of school. She didn't live close and my father didn't want me to stay close to her due to several mental issues.

I actually spoke to her and saw her from time to time up until I joined the military. She still talked to my father and asked how I was doing, and we spoke when we could, but even then I barely spoke to my dad because I was so busy.

Just because you don't keep in contact with someone all the time doesn't mean you don't love them. I just get caught up in my life, and if you knew how my mother was you would understand. She would find a new boyfriend and disappear with him and be in her own world. She was always like that.

In fact, I spoke to her a month before she died. Yet her brother and nobody else that knew of her death told me about it. I tried to find her but her address was changed and her phone #s didn't work.

So before you go being all judgmental, how about you look at your own little perfect life instead of ragging on somebody that already feels bad enough.

So,,,,,,, what is your question? Or are you using this message board to vent as a form of therapy?

If everyone kept their mouth shut due to not having anything sugar and spice, and everything nice to say, the human population would be muted. But you must learn to accept the fact that you can't control how others respond and that said, if you can't handle that, then it's best that YOU keep your own mouth shut. (or keep fingers away from the keyboard)