Hell hath no fury...

...Like a woman scorned.

I put this in "Miscellaneous" because I don't really know where this belonged in the forum---it definitely had nothing to do with business and was nothing like a legally recognized relationship where we could work with terms of dissolution, so the divorce forum was out of the question as well.

My boyfriend's ex has been persistently calling, emailing and threatening both of us since he tried to cut off contact with her in April and we want to file a harassment restraining order.

They had a brief affair after they broke up while I was dating him, and in the interest of our relationship and respective futures we decided to remove her from us as a harmful influence (even before I was aware of the cheating she would say obscure, accusing things to me about him and warn me that it was doomed to fail or call him at ungodly hours of the night and threaten to kill herself). It didn't seem like a big deal when we asked her not to contact us anymore (I thought hearing that I found out what happened would jog some sense of decency and get her to leave us alone), but she has since tried to contact both of us with threats against his safety in a sad throwback to the playground "I've got a big brother/daddy/cousin who'll beat you up" thing. Sad, but explicit and serious enough that it frightened both of us a great deal. She has recently resorted to calling and pestering his mother as well, asking for her "stuff" back although we've told her repeatedly that what we haven't returned already has been disposed of--not only requested belongings of hers but everything that she might have any claim to that could give her reason to continue contacting us.

More so than actual fear of bodily injury--we are trying to believe, despite her claims, that her family wouldn't actually try to assault him on sight--she has caused both of us a ridiculous amount of psychological strain and I was wondering what my options were. At first we tried ignoring her but we think we have to get a little more serious and are saving and making a record of every ugly email or phone call she sends us.

I gathered just from browsing the internet that if he gets the order under his name and she tries to contact me, it would be a violation of the whole third-party thing so I would kind of be under the umbrella. Is this true, or would we both have to pursue an injunction for ourselves? Aside from that, we attend a university that is outside his state of permanent residence. Would an order from an Oregon court hold for her, even though she lives in Washington?

You can ask the court that she be prohibited from talking to or contacting either of you and any family etc.

Based on what you say here you should be able to get the order easily.