Long ago ex-boyfriend refuses to leave
This is a discussion on Long ago ex-boyfriend refuses to leave within the Landlord vs Tenant Issues forum, part of the REAL ESTATE & PROPERTY LAW category; I'll try to make this brief: My best friend made a number of bad decisions and is now in over ...
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|Nov 8th, 2010, 12:25 AM||#1|
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Palominas, AZ
Long ago ex-boyfriend refuses to leave
I'll try to make this brief: My best friend made a number of bad decisions and is now in over hear head... I don't know how to advise her as I've never worked in Indiana in the real estate/landlord arena.
1. The state is Indiana
2. My friend is the owner/mortgage payer on her home.
3. 3 years ago she had a boyfriend move in.
4. For the duration of his living there, he has paid $450 to assist with the bills. She never called it rent, just "assistance with the bills". There is no formal lease.
5. May 2009 she told him she no longer wanted an romantic relationship
6. She came to visit me and my family and told him he had the duration of her vacation to move into the second bedroom.
7. He did
8. The proviso of his using the spare bedroom was that he begin looking for a place to live.
9. He didn't.
10. She didn't push it very hard as she needed the money.
11. His alcoholism has gotten severe enough she has spent many weekends (and some work nights) listening to him ramble at her about how awful she is, she needs to give him another chance, throwing things, screaming at her, etc.
12. During one particularly long session (she doesn't respond, just tries to ignore him which makes it worse) she had an epileptic seizure (her neurologist tells her it's stress from living with him) and was injured in the fall.
13. She reiterates to him about once a week he needs to find some other place to live.
14. He doesn't.
15. Several weeks ago, he made the statement, "If you won't take me back, I might as well shoot you and then myself."
16. She didn't call the police though several people begged her to do so. She demanded he remove all weapons from the home. He refused.
17. About a month ago, he left a hand-written "will" on the dining room table and disappeared for several hours. It was the most peaceful night she's had in months.
18. This past Friday he found out she was dating again (after 18 months of not due to his verbal and emotional abuse)
19. This past Friday, she came home from work at 4:30 PM and he proceeded to berate and emotionally abuse her until 1:00 AM, when he fell down in the living room and passed out drunk. She then stepped over him and went to sleep.
20. This morning, she attempted to serve him by hand with a 30 day notice to leave the residence. She also intends to mail it to him certified, return receipt to her work address.
21. He refused to accept the letter by hand, has informed her, "Now I know what's coming, I won't sign for it either. This is my house and I'm not leaving."
22. She told him she would begin eviction proceedings on 9 Dec 2010 (which is 30 days) and he told her, "Great, that'll take 90 days."
23. He went into his bedroom and brought out marijuana and assorted paraphernalia and proceeded to smoke it in her living room. While she knew he did this, she told him to never do it in the house and to never bring it into the house. He refused, saying, "I told you this is my house too." (The mortgage is in her name only, buying it before he was ever in the picture). She warned him she would call the police for the drugs and he laughed saying, "I figured this would come up. I've hidden some stuff in your room. If they come for me, they'll take you away too."
She is now terrified of what he'll do. She has been so beaten down emotionally by this guy she can't see straight any longer. His being there is seriously detrimental to her health. In addition, if he has indeed hidden drugs in her house and he tells the police it's her, she'll lose her job with the company for which she's worked for ten years. She doesn't do drugs and has the record of her being drug tested at work showing clean tests.
This guy's alcoholism is serious and he's an ugly drunk. He has never laid a hand on her, just threatened her that one time with shooting her. She has no idea where the guns are as he removed them from the house but tells her, constantly, they "...are nearby and I can get to one faster than you can get to the phone".
It doesn't look as though she'll ever be able to get him served with the request to terminate the arrangement so how is she supposed to get an eviction? She doesn't want to have to sell her house to get him out of there and she's tired of having to leave all the time to get away from him. He was fired from his job a year ago due to his own stupidity and has been biding his time to his 60th birthday so his SS can start. (She's 47 and has never lived with anyone but herself once she moved out on her own)
When he refused to take the notice to vacate, she told him he had until 8 December 2010 and then she would evict he started negotiating with her for more time. She is standing fast but doesn't know what to do beyond this.
What are your recommendations as to how she should proceed? I would greatly appreciate your adivce.
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|Nov 8th, 2010, 07:40 AM||#2|
Top Level Member
Join Date: Dec 2009
Re: Long ago ex-boyfriend refuses to leave
I wish to inform you that your friend may send a certified mail to her ex-boyfriend and can demand eviction. In this regard when the certified mail is accepted then the mail is delivered for the purpose of law and if her ex boyfriend refuses to accept mail then his refusal to accept mail will be deemed service of notice to vacate. After the notice period your friend may file an eviction lawsuit against her ex boyfriend and may have the premises with the order of court. Further as regards drug paraphernalia your friend may first record where her ex boyfriend says that he has hidden in her room. This will serve as evidence of the fact that your friend is innocent. After this your friend may properly search her room and if nothing is found then may report the matter to police.
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