NY/NJ Breaking Lease

Hello all in advance. I've been browsing the many informative posts here and have a couple of questions.

1. Do I fall under NY or NJ tenant laws? We rent in NY, but the owner receives and sends his mail from NJ. Our security deposit is in a bank in NJ.
I'm curious as to how much of the rent the NY courts usually reward in the event of breaking a lease.

2. More than a month ago we wrote the landlord requesting to change the lease from a one year to a month to month lease. At our third yearly renewal in April, the LL again offered the monthly option, which we did not choose because we had no intention of moving, unfortunately. The landlord's son (who is also part of the LL's management company) spoke to me for the first time and specifically said that they would give us a new lease on a month to month basis and simply charge us a little extra to cover costs. I was happy, and waited for their written response. Unfortunately, they didn't change their habit of lying and instead of offering this, they wrote a letter reminding us that we would be responsible for all rent due until the end of the lease in April. I know that verbal communication can't be trusted or honored, but would a judge possibly take this into consideration?
(A little background: From the beginning of our lease in 2006, the LL claimed to be a simple employee of this 24 unit complex, often referring to the owners in 3rd person. On different days when I would directly call him and the sons the owners, he would flat out lie and deny this. LOL)

3. I hope they are merely posturing and I will write again hoping to appeal to them to allow us out of this lease. We have great credit and always pay on time, unfortunately because of layoffs, we are hoping to find better luck in the South. The last thing I want to do is to give up our security deposit and leave the state. Has anyone done this and been served with court papers? If they choose to sue us for rent for the next four months, must they actually locate us and have us served or can this be done in absentia?

4. If we are forced to file bankruptcy, will we be relieved of any possible judgments in favor of the LL?

5. Has anyone broken a lease and not been served by a former LL? I would hope that he would be satisfied with the large security deposit we are losing.

6. There are two or three empty apts here, so the chances of ours being rented quickly are very slim. The LL constantly does repairs and big updates to apts after tenants move out. How would anyone prove that a LL did not attempt to mitigate damages?

7. I would hate to have a blemish on our credit report (the lease is in my wife's name before we married) and don't want her to get any undue stress in this matter. Is there any other recourse, other than to stay an additional 4 months?

Thanks in advance to all.

1. If you live in NY, you fall under those laws. It doesn't matter where he receives his mail or banks at. NJ laws say the LL has an obligation to re-rent the unit as quickly as possible to minimize damages. NY laws are unclear on this.
2. Sorry, if you signed a lease, you are responsible until the nd of it. Written agreements would trump any verbal ones.
3. You can be evicted in absentia (and that goes on your court record) but you must be served to obtain a monetary judgement. You can be served in a different state and would have to go back to the state of the rental for the hearing. If you failed to attend once served, you can have a judgement placed against you in absentia.
4. If he obtains a judgement before you file BK, it can be included in the BK and negated, If he hasn't obtained a judgement, you legally don't owe him anything yet (shouldn't include him) and he could wait until your BK is done before filing.
5. Certainly that has happened. It would be up to your LL whether he wishes to pursue it or not.
6. The LL doesn't have to put your unit ahead of any other unit he already has empty. That means he can rent those out before he rents yours. As long as he is advertising for tenants and doesn't rent out any unit that comes vacant AFTER yours, he is attempting to mitigate damages in the eyes of a court. He could be found guilty of not attempting to mitigate if he denied qualified candidates. But remember, NY law is unclear on whether he has to mitigate, unlike NJ law.
7. Certainly, approach the LL and offer to pay a termination fee to end the lease. The deposit plus one month's rent may be enough to sway him. If he takes you up on it, get it in writing that you have ended any obligations under your lease. You could also suggest that you find another qualified tenant who will sign a lease.

Thank you so much for your very detailed and informative response. I appreciate your taking the time to answer this delicate situation.

We'll try to write another letter reasoning with the LL and hope for the best.

Thanks!