Mental disabilities and bully boss

In the past two years I have started seeing a shrink and taking some medication for anxiety and OCD. My boss was aware of this as we have a drug policy at work where we MUST disclose any medication we are taking. For the past two years I have put up with being called "crazy." He constantly makes fun of my mental disorder and I'm at the point I just do not know what to do.

Last week I had a picture of Slingblade as the wallpaper on the desktop of my computer. He was yelling at me and called my crazy two or three times in there. First he said I was looking at him crazy and when I noticed I took offense to that, he said, "what's worng, Crazy? Crazy! Crazy!" I finally had enough and told him (one of my best friends) if he didn't stop making fun of my mental disability I would have no other choice but to file a complaint with the Texas Workforce Commission. He shut up and I left the office. Now he's harrassing me and constantly calling me a snitch.

What can I do without making matters worse?

It is really awful that bully bosses are allowed to go unpunished instead of being called what they are which is a criminal. Your condition could be made worse by the harassment of your boss; I am not an attorney but have experienced workplace bully bosses. See my experiences:

Secrets to surviving bullies/bully bosses in the workplace @ Amazon.com: HOW ORGANIZATIONS EMPOWER THE BULLY BOSS: A CRIMINAL IN THE WORKPLACE (9781593305918): MARILYN E. VEINCENTOTZS: Books. See reviews @ Amazon.com: Customer Reviews: HOW ORGANIZATIONS EMPOWER THE BULLY BOSS: A CRIMINAL IN THE WORKPLACE

I have helped a co-worker who was literally having a breakdown while driving from her crazy bully boss job. She called me on my cell and I had to meet her and calm her down. You have to remind yourself that it is not you that is the problem; it is your bully boss and he is the one who should be on medication and seeing a therapist.

Dr_Vee

Nobody has to put up with such foolishness at their workplace, least of all from their boss.

Look for another job and get out of there. That is what the labor board would advise you to do. Nobody has to go through a nervous breakdown simply because their boss is a moron. Why would anyone want to work for someone like this guy? Life's too short. Quit.

Unfortunately, many harassed workers who have a bully boss can't quit. Some people are too old to find another job and some know in this economy today they have to stay until they find another job. People are often stuck with the bully boss until they can do better. As soon as workers can they do leave their organizations. If you have never had the experience it is very difficult for some to comprehend the level of torture people are put through and the slow eroding of their self worth. Some end up in therapy, medication and some never return to work for fear of being treated the same again; they have PTSD (post traumatic stress syndrome). Dr_Vee

[LostCareer]

That what has happened to me: PTSD to the point of being unable to work. I cannot even return to that office or talk to anyone there. Not only that but going through the private diability insurance process has been an extention of that bullying. Bullying is not just direct harassment, it is insidious gossiping, targeting, gaslighting all to get you to leave. That's Constructive Discharge. AND I cannot quit or resign or write the necessary letter stating constructive discharge or I will lose my disability benefit. I did manage to get a 30 month disabilty benefit but there were only 17 months left of the term when they approved it. The benefit is only for not being able to the that exact job I was at, then after that term you have to prove you can't do ANY job and I don't think I qualify for that. And I have to say trying for it would be such a major setback I don't think I can do that. It has been hell on earth. Older, woman, so far destroyed I can't get any job even if there were jobs out there. I have another 16 months to rebuild some kind of life and get a new career. I live in a small town and their insidious gossip bullying does extends to the community as well. Can't move, can't sell house. Stuck. I am going to school trying to get this back on track. The devistation bullying bosses create in a persons life should be criminal! But it is not. There is actually no law against it in the US. My boss had some REAL problems with narcissitic disorder and when I got moved under this boss I knew they intended for me to quit and lose all my 15 years of service credit. It is why they moved me and why the won't make reasonable accomodations. My doctors will not release me to return to that position and very hostile environment.

My advice. Do NOT go to HR, they are the facilitators of constructive discharge. Do NOT make a complaint as they will make it worse. The only sane thing you can do is leave. I've run through all my savings getting the disability and will cash out my retirement fund when the disability term ends to keep the health insurance benefit at $600/month so I don't have to qualify with preexisting conditions elsewhere. It is truely devastating what bullying/targeting/mobbing does to the person. Find a way out and into another job any way you can. Try to schedule time in there to decompress from the unbelievable experience. Good luck.

Bullying boss
When you have a person like Jeff Ursino, as a member of the board of trustee in Pajaro Valley Unified School District, you compromise that district. Google his name so you can understand what a bully he was towards my family and pray for the children of PVUSD. He is not the best choice for the kids and the only reason he is getting this post is because no one opposed him, so now they are stuck with him. He is heartless, fired me 12 days before Christmas, via UPS and for no good reason, breaking California labor codes and more, while I was ill and with a workers comp case pending, goodluck to all he makes choices for . All I was trying to do was be there for my daughter but he didnt care, oh and I was ill, he had the doctors note stating I would not be back until the 16th and he fired me on the 13th, but I didnt know until the 15th, what a guy...This really saids a lot about the way he treats people and what is important, once a bully always a bully, especially when you bully as an adult and enjoy doing it.And yet the bank never fired him but my tax dollars bailed them out, where is the justice??
PVUSD
And Jeff Ursino is definetly not your superman PVUSD, you are trying to save the schools and their budget. Ask Jeff what his "choices" cost and good luck and my prayers to the children that he will be making choices for...hope he doenst bully the rest of the trustees to get his way.Remind him that there are rules, laws, policy and procedures in life and they are there for a reason, not to be ignore by someone who is out to get someone no matter what it cost them or others.
Just pray that he has found a heart and some kindness and that he doesnt go on another power trip. Hopefully he will follow the rules and laws and not bully anyone as he did me. I sent him an email asking him why he did this and he has yet to reply and being the weak man he is, hiding behind whatever he can, I will not hear from him.There is something wrong and just plain mean about firing someone for no good reason and 12 days before Christmas. He states parents need to be involved and that is all I was trying to do, not just for my daughter but for those whos parents didnt have a car, I would offer rides to those who needed it.The way he was elected needs to change. Now he isnt campaigning , so he doesnt even have to work for this post. So how much did he raise, who is endorsing him,what did he do with the money he raised? He wanted people to join him for a night of food, fun and fellowship? Has he asked God to forgive him for the way he treated me? And how important will your childs needs be to him or is it all about power? Did Jeff think that he could treat someone like this and that he would get away with it? That this would just stay in some closet and if he didnt think about it it would go away. Well there is a good reason why the good Lord had me hang on to all my evidence. If you are running for some public office, check your closet first.Has he learned to be fair and equal? Who decided he was the best choice for PVUSD,him? What a joke.He had all the tools to do his job correctly and just decided not to, good luck to all who have to deal with him, my prayers to his wife and kids and PVUSD.
Regarding the following statement
"Jeff Ursino believes parents should play a more active role in Pajaro Valley schools, and with one son entering Aptos Junior High and another kindergarten at Rio del Mar Elementary, he's making his move."
Yet he fired me for putting my daughters needs first. I had told him that my daughter had been followed home one day and that I needed to be there for her after school and on weekends. We even filed a police report. I told him how many sex offenders lived within 1/2 a mile of my house, but he just didn't care. My hours were changed from 5p.m. to 3 p.m., by the previous manager, although Jeff tried to take credit for that. One of Jeffs ideas was for me to bring my daughter to work and put her in the back room to watch videos, wow. But that was never approved by his boss, not to mention the liability to the employer. Before you vote, understand that while I was out ill,due to stress, anxiety and blood pressure issue, due to Jeff bullying me and threating me with "job abandoment" yet I had doctors notes not to go to work but he wrote me up for not going to work, Jeff never called to see how I was doing, but when he fired me via UPS, in that envelope he included my doctors note which was faxed into him the day prior. He claims that he called me to see if I was coming in , yet the faxed in doctors note clearly stated that I would be out untill the 16th. He fired me on the 13th. And I still have all of these papers and letter from Jeff Ursino. Tax payers need to know who they are voting for. How does Jeff feel about bullying in the school system? Or the work place?
Subject: before you vote? Fired by Jeff Ursino, a manager with no heart and he wants to make choices for the children of PVSD
Before you vote for Jeff Ursino ask yourself if the choices he made when he fired a working mother, via UPS, while at home ill...due to stress brought on by the way he treated this mother..was that the best choice for all parties concerned? Jeff could have made alot better choices but he made the choice to be unprofessional and didn't bother following policy and procedure> Why?
Here is a letter from a concerned customer
March 25, 2006 Dear Ms. Deloney,
I would like to take a moment and thank you for responding to my comments regarding Damari and the manager. I am sure that you are a very busy and important person and I appreciate your time. Damari is truly missed at the bank, since her unfair termination by the manger, the atmosphere at the bank is boring to say the least. Damari added life and laughter and she enjoyed serving the customers. I feel deeply, that the manager made a huge mistake in dismissing her while she was ill. What kind of a manager would dismiss an employee while they are ill?
As I say this, I now have further concerns about another teller name Andrea. I was in the bank and was told that she has injured her knee and will be out of work for about six weeks. I'm sure that Andrea has a doctors note as Damari did, I hope that the manager doesn't make the same mistake and decides to terminate her and mail her a letter before she returns as he did Damari when he terminated her instead of waiting for her to get well and return to work. Although I would understand if he were let her go as she spends most of her time at work doing her homework , reading and she isn't available everyday. Andrea will move on, on her own to become a teacher, this is what she goes to school for two days a week. By her going to school, I feel this puts a strain on the staff. I understand that the rest of the tellers along with Kathleen are now having to work six days a week and Kathleen is running a window: she doesn't have the charm or customer service skills which Damari offered the bank.
We go into the bank often and we rarely see that manager. I feel that it would be in the best interest of the bank to find a permanent manager as soon as possible, one whom appreciates competent employees as Damari. Frankly, I don't understand how a temporary manager was given the authority to dismiss an employee such as Damari with her wonderful skills , talents and dedication to her job. Therefore my concerns are now for Andrea whom doesn't compare with the kind of service Damari offered your customers. As I stated before, the other tellers spend too much time speaking to customers about personal things and shopping on the computer instead of banking conversations. I frequently witness them reading and eating while at their windows: this is very unprofessional.
I feel it would be in the best interest to Citibank to launch a complete investigation on the manager, as you stated would be done and seriously consider removing him from Carmel. In my opinion since he arrived the atmosphere is tense and if I can sense it I am sure that other customers do. This manager has taken all the personal touch and charm out of the bank and I feel the employees fear for their jobs: no one should have to work under those conditions. Keeping this manager at this or any branch is sure to destroy you business. Again, thank you for your letter and taking the time to look into this situation.
Sincerely, Clifford Bagwell
Can the school district afford to have such a heartless man making choices for the children?
I have a 13 page letter I wrote to Jeff Ursino, pleading my case but he just couldn't meet me in the middle. He fired me while I was at home ill. Why couldn't he wait for me to return to work? He had the doctors note which stated I would be out until the 16th, so why not wait, follow the rules, policy and procedure? As a manager he didn't do his job right and cost his employer alot of trouble. Any good manager would known that there are labor laws which must be followed but Jeff Ursino made the choice to ignor them. Jeff is not the best choice for the children.
I was the only spanish speaking teller at the branch. Was it the best choice for the customers which depended on my spanish to do their banking? Was that the best choice he could make?
-----
When Jeff fired me, 12 days before christmas and in the process broke Califofrnia labor laws and also didn't follow the banks firing policy or procedure and all this caused my daughter and family alot of heartache, was it the best choice he could make. Was it fair for my daughter to feel guilty that her mom had lost her job all because she was wanting to continue to care for her daughter, was that the best choice for my daughter. Imagine how she felt and how sad. She worried about the holidays coming up and now mom lost her job just because Jeff didn't care about her needs or life style. I have every letter and notes from that awful choice he made. I don't feel he is qualified to be making choices for any child that isn't his. I feel the public has a right to know how uncaring and heartless he and his actions were to my daughter and my family. I have a letter where Jeff states he was calling me to see if I was coming into work, yet with my letter of termination he includes that very note which was faxed into the bank the day before by my doctor,but he made the heartless choice to fire me while I was at home ill. What kind of a person fires an employee while they are at home ill, with a doctors note? With a pending workers comp case. A heartless and uncaring man. His choice changed our lives forever. Why didn't he follow the firing procudures? I have eveyone of my reviews by the bank and over 50 letters from customers which enjoyed my work at the bank. So if as a manager Jeff decided not to follow policy and procedure of the company and or the labor code of California, what qualifies him to make choices which could affect the children of Pajaro Valley School? Does Jeff have education on Childhood deveolpment? As a tax payer in California, our residence have a right to know what he did to my family if he is going to be making choices on behalf of your children
It is my opinion that Jeff Ursino is not the best choice for the children
I think it is strange that Jeff thinks he is the best choice for the chiildren after what he did to my daughter and the lack of concern for her needs. Was it the right choice for her, for him to fire me the way he did and that my daughter felt that it was her fault that I was fired? Was it the right choice for my daughter to see me upset over what he had done? What qualifies him to say that he is the best choice for any child? Did he go back to school and learn more about what our childrens' needs and how important it is for our teenagers to have their parents around? Jeff wanted me to bring my daughter to work and put her in the back room to atch videos, is that the best choice for a child? What if the bank had been robbed and what about the liabilty to the bank? Did he get that approved? No...Was it right for Jeff to try and have me break my word to my daughter?
and then there was this power trip..
Damari commented on this story on CBS News.
I was told once by Jeff Ursino, a manager of a bank, that I no longer was allowed to wear hats, which I had been wearing for the prior four years, with no problems from anyone else. He claimed it was part of dress code policy, but corporate said that it was his own rule. He made me stop wearing them and a few weeks later, he decided that I could wear them but only twice a week. So was he just on a POWER kick??He had us read the dress code policy which stated nothing against hats, but he wanted me to know that he was the new boss and he made the rules as they suited him. So why take the hats away, if indeed it was a corporate policy and or why then tell me I can wear them and go against "corporate" never did make sense to me, just a power trip. What do you think? He later fired me for something even stupider than that, another power play I guess??
In Pajaro Valley's Area 7, La Selva Beach and Rio del Mar, Jeff Ursino is running. He lists his occupation as a business manager and parent.As a business manager he failed to follow policy and procedure, costing the bank a lawsuit and as a parent he didn't care about my daughters needs and safety. The voters have a right to know that his choices aren't good choices. Jeff claims to be the best choice for the children, how did he decide this? Just because no one is running against him doesn't mean he shold get the post, he needs to be voted in by the parents of PVUSD.
Just pray that he has found a heart and some kindness and that he doesnt go on another power trip. Hopefully he will follow the rules and laws and not bully anyone as he did me. I sent him an email asking him why he did this and he has yet to reply and being the weak man he is, hiding behind whatever he can, I will not hear from him.There is something wrong and just plain mean about firing someone for no good reason and 12 days before Christmas. He states parents need to be involved and that is all I was trying to do, not just for my daughter but for those whos parents didnt have a car, I would offer rides to those who needed it.The way he was elected needs to change. Now he isnt campaigning , so he doesnt even have to work for this post. So how much did he raise, who is endorsing him,what did he do with the money he raised? He wanted people to join him for a night of food, fun and fellowship? Has he asked God to forgive him for the way he treated me? And how important will your childs needs be to him or is it all about power? Did Jeff think that he could treat someone like this and that he would get away with it? That this would just stay in some closet and if he didnt think about it it would go away. Well there is a good reason why the good Lord had me hang on to all my evidence. If you are running for some public office, check your closet first.Has he learned to be fair and equal? Who decided he was the best choice for PVUSD,him? What a joke.He had all the tools to do his job correctly and just decided not to, good luck to all who have to deal with him, my prayers to his wife and kids and PVUSD.

[anj]

I know this was posted more than two years ago.

I'm a graduate student in journalism who is thinking about writing my master's project, a long-form journalistic article, about bullying and mental health / mental disabilities.

I would be interested in talking to anybody who has experienced bullying and/or discrimination and/or stigma of any kind because of mental health / a mental disability. I would also be interested in talking to people who are familiar with the topic, even if they haven't experienced this type of treatment themselves: experts, family members and friends, employers, teachers and school officials, etc.

Please email me through the email I have listed under my profile if you would be interested in and willing to talk to share about your perspectives. (I would be happy to give you more information about my project as well.)

To clarify, I’m interested in looking at bullying and discrimination amongst adults as well as children (I’m not sure if people still refer to it as bullying when it's among adults? but you probably understand my meaning). I'm interested in looking not only at explicit bullying, but also subtler forms of “bullying," from lack of understanding and accommodation for people with mental disabilities, to discrimination in the providing of services, and in hiring, according to the ADA, etc.

I think this is a very important topic which affects many people which has been underreported in the media, and I hope to be able to bring it more into the public view.

I think the original poster's example is unfortunately a classic example of how people with mental illnesses are treated, even today, frequently, in our society. If he or she is willing to share more about his or her experience, I would very much appreciate him or her being in touch.

Thanks for all your help.

____________________________________

Also, if you're not comfortable talking "on the record," this is fine. I'm totally fine with talking to you off the record, and later, only if you're comfortable with being on the record, would anything you say be on the record. If you're not comfortable ever going on the record, your perspective will still be valuable. Obviously if you are comfortable with being on the record, please let me know as well.

Either way, please do not let privacy concerns prevent you from emailing me if you would like your voice to be heard.

Thanks again, everybody.

I would like to share my experience if you are still interested. How can I contact you?

Originally Posted by anj I know this was posted more than two years ago. I'm a graduate student in journalism who is thinking about writing my master's project, a long-form journalistic article, about bullying and mental health / mental disabilities. I would be interested in talking to anybody who has experienced bullying and/or discrimination and/or stigma of any kind because of mental health / a mental disability. I would also be interested in talking to people who are familiar with the topic, even if they haven't experienced this type of treatment themselves: experts, family members and friends, employers, teachers and school officials, etc. Please email me through the email I have listed under my profile if you would be interested in and willing to talk to share about your perspectives. (I would be happy to give you more information about my project as well.) To clarify, I’m interested in looking at bullying and discrimination amongst adults as well as children (I’m not sure if people still refer to it as bullying when it's among adults? but you probably understand my meaning). I'm interested in looking not only at explicit bullying, but also subtler forms of “bullying," from lack of understanding and accommodation for people with mental disabilities, to discrimination in the providing of services, and in hiring, according to the ADA, etc. I think this is a very important topic which affects many people which has been underreported in the media, and I hope to be able to bring it more into the public view. I think the original poster's example is unfortunately a classic example of how people with mental illnesses are treated, even today, frequently, in our society. If he or she is willing to share more about his or her experience, I would very much appreciate him or her being in touch. Thanks for all your help. ____________________________________ Also, if you're not comfortable talking "on the record," this is fine. I'm totally fine with talking to you off the record, and later, only if you're comfortable with being on the record, would anything you say be on the record. If you're not comfortable ever going on the record, your perspective will still be valuable. Obviously if you are comfortable with being on the record, please let me know as well. Either way, please do not let privacy concerns prevent you from emailing me if you would like your voice to be heard. Thanks again, everybody.