International child custody

[zitamay]

My husband is american and I am a hungarian citizen and our child is both.

I have filed for divorce in Hungary (since got married here). My husband wants a legal AND physical joint custody which I would not oppose (my son would go to school here and spend his summers there) but it is not possible by the Hungarian Family Law, since here the Court must "place" the child somewhere (if the parents cannot agree beforehand). It is possible to have joint parental custody, (which means basically legal custody) so we can discuss how and where the child would spend the school years or holidays, basically, it allows us everthing we want, as long as we can cooperate. My husband took it very personal and started to accuse me that I am the one who doesnt want the shared custody. I am getting doubts, too, since the more he argues, less I like the idea of a shared custody because it does not show we could really discuss things in the future and also shows his lack of trust.

How could I make him understand that we have to follow the Law of the country where we are getting the divorce??? Alternatively, he wants me to got back to California and get a divorce there, which I dont want, since we got married here, anyway. And I would feel very vulnerable there, having power, money and his citizenship in his pocket. I think I have been very flexible until this moment but this is my limit.

Any advise would be welcome. Thanks a lot.

[randalljd]

You two can agree on a proposal and have the Hungarian court confirm and enforce it.

We would agree with you, don't agree to any filing in CA--the court in Hungary has jurisdiction now and that is the court in charge, as it should be.