Extraordinary case. 6 lawyers puzzled. Do YOU know what to do?

[LegalizeMe!]

New York

I have went through 6 lawyers in the past 3 weeks. 2 of them are advertised to the highest standard of the industry and claim to be the next best thing since Chinese have invented the wheel. However none of them gave me a clear answer on what they plan on doing with my case. Mumbling something and scratching their heads, foot tapping and pen clicking away, all I made out is that Im in for a ride at a rate of $250/hr.

It is a very interesting time of my life. My woman has just delivered the most precious gift to me - my little baby girl Varvara. After 2 nights in the hospital I brought them home and noticed that babies get the best sleep. In my case I say " Of course! She got her citizenship!"

I do not have a citizenship of any country. I was born on December 03, 1985 in Kemerovo, Russian Federation, formerly known as USSR.

1990 (age 5)
We have moved to Ukraine - a former USSR, as a result Russian Federation citizenship lost.

June 12, 1999 (age 13)
Arrived at JFK, New York. My father - L1 visa, my mother - L2 visa, me - L2 visa. Mother had my visa in her passport because my "Child's Travel Document" is an invalid document to attach a visa to. All visas are valid through November 09, 1999. They expire, we stay in the country illegally.

July 25, 2002 (age 16)
I dropped out of school to go to work, my parents board a plane in JFK and off they go to Ukraine. I prefer staying here for a while

Life is beautiful and Im grateful. This country has many opportunities even if you are an illegal immigrant. I always wanted and I still want to live here and I realize that I need to build a foundation.

A foundation for my kid...

I need a passport or any other form of government ID to marry my woman, the Ukrainian consulate is telling me that the only way I can get a passport of Ukraine is if I go there and then come back :-]

The Russian Federation Consulate has given me a document that I am NOT a citizen of the Russian Federation.

The only documents I have are:
1. my original certificate of birth from USSR (translated and certified)
2. my Child's Travel Document issued by Ukraine in 1998 (expired 2001)
3. I-94 to my name issued by JFK border control upon arrival in 1999

Any thoughts on which way I should be moving?