Where can He go from here. . . any hope?

[sammy]

Just briefly, I'm looking for help for a young man who has had the short end
of the old perverbial stick. And my heart goes out to him. He is sure that he
hasn't got a chance at all, but me being a die hard, can't take that. This is just too, too heart breaking, to say the least!
Long story short, He had a few dates with this girl, she got pregnant and said it was his. He believed her, she had the child, they were young, they were into drugs and very irresponsible. He and his brother (older) got in
trouble, he took the fall for his brother and went to jail (at least that's
the story I got!) Jail shook him up and he got out on good behavior, has
been a really good young man since. During all of this His Mother got custody of the little girl, he lived with his mother for several years with his
daughter, the mother was seen only when she needed money, faining to want to see the child, but would only stick around long enough for the money.
The grandmother just died a couple of months ago, so. . . . . there had to be a new guardian named. The young man felt sure that the court would give
the little girl to him and his wife. The wife has two daughters from a previous
marriage and they have a nice family and live comfortably. The mother of
the little girl, tells the young man. . . . . . she is not yours! I will see to it
that you never get her! He takes a DNA and low and behold, she is right!
He is not the father, he has been with this child for 8, almost 9 years, he is
her daddy, and she is his little girl. The little girl hasn't got a clue that her
daddy isn't her daddy at all. Sure enough the court tells him, give her to the mother, you are not blood you have and are nothing to the little girl. Just so happens the mother has to be tested for drug before they will give her the little girl. Ooops, cocaine shows up in her urine. They aren't going to give the little girl to her for obvious reasons. But the whole thing is so wrong on the surface! The little girl has no clue about all of this, mind she is only 8, and now she will be taken away and given to a blood relative whom she doesn't know from Adam. This is going to be so terrifiing for her, and so horribly tragic for both the "Daddy" and the little girl. She has her own room in his house, and always has, for when she was able to come to visit before her grandmother (his mother) died. Isn't there anything that he can do? These are the kinds of things that ruin childrens lives, leave lasting effects on them, scare them for the rest of their lives. What can he do if anything? He supported this child, he was the one who gave money every month to his mother for the little girls up keep (even when he was in Jail). If no one contests it can he file for legal guardianship or perhaps adopt her? There is the other grandmother as far as I have been told, and the little girl has spent time with her at times.
Sorry this is soooo long, but I feel so badly for all of them, this is tearing them apart. I thought that the courts were for the best interest of the child?
Tell me why it wouldn't be in her best interest to stay with the only Daddy she has ever known?
Just to add a little more horror to the story, the mother of the little girl told the young man, that she has put the word out on the street for the other TWO guys who might have fathered the little girl, so that they can now step up and be the little girls Daddy! And pay child support! This poor woman is, oh, never mind, I'm sure you get the picture. I'm praying for a miracle for this one. I'm hoping you can tell me something, some way that they can proceed and perhaps save this little girl a lot of pain and sadness?
God Bless them.

Courts will often order that visitation continue in that situation. Go back into court and argue that the relationship is important to the little girl and you may very well succeed.

[sammy]

Thank you, for responding. The dynamics of this whole thing has everyone
reeling. It seems so wrong that after 8 years, the little thing has to instantly
accept that the only man she has ever known as her Daddy is nothing, she
will never see him again. That's just nuts, simply inconceivable, I find it
very hard to believe that because "they" (the courts) say so, it's done, final.
I will share your advice with them, who know, huh?
By the way, I wanted to mention that the little girls maternal grandmother has now been given custody, and she doesn't want her full time, but would
consider part time custody! How lovely, huh?
Just one more question, Are there any Child Advocacy Groups that help in
this sort of situation, that you know of?
Thank you again for your advise,
Sammy

Check your local phone book. But if need be you can go to ocurt yourself in these family law issues.