Disrespectful & unruly 17 years old in MI, What are our options?

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Old Oct 11th, 2011, 02:35 PM   #1
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Question 17 year old step daughter (SD) has been disrespectful -- Michigan

My 17 year old step daughter (SD) has always been disrespectful to her mom however it's gotten worse. She is now staying out for days at a time, not following the house rules & skipping school. Because of this (and many other things) her mom would like to kick her out. SD staying with us is not an option due to a huge falling out about her boyfriend. Even if that weren't the case she would be unwilling to follow our house rules since she's been pulling "sleep over" stunts at her mom's.

Can her mom legally kick her out at 17 without any legal repercussions coming back to her or myself & step daughter's father?
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Old Oct 11th, 2011, 02:38 PM   #2
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Question Disrespectful & unruly 17 years old in MI, What are our options?

We've all tried to help SD but she has not been willing to accept it. She's always been the kind of person who needs to find out for herself, even if that means falling on her face.
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Old Oct 11th, 2011, 03:14 PM   #3
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Default re: Disrespectful & unruly 17 years old in MI, What are our options?

I wish to inform you that as mother is the guardian of child, thus, she may discipline child. Further if child is not provided necessary food shelter then mother may be accused of child neglect. On the other hand, if child causes any harm to mother then law enforcement may be informed. If minor does not come home then also law enforcement may be informed that whereabouts of minor are not known and they must search minor and bring back the minor to mother's home and custody custody. Under the provisions of Sec. 750.136b.[Cr.] the mother can discipline the child and may use reasonable force.

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Old Oct 11th, 2011, 05:40 PM   #4
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Default re: Disrespectful & unruly 17 years old in MI, What are our options?

It just seems like there must be some option. Other than getting walked on, used & disrespected for the next year.
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Old Oct 11th, 2011, 07:39 PM   #5
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Default Re: Disrespectful & unruly 17 years old in MI, What are our options?

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It just seems like there must be some option. Other than getting walked on, used & disrespected for the next year.
There is. Be the adults and don't let her walk on you, use you and disrespect you. When she's unruly, don't sink to her level.

Has she been evaluated to see if there may be developmental, behavior or even mental anomalies?

Her parents can always send her away to boarding school or even behavior boot camp. Kids quickly turn from hell raisers to obedient darlings after such stints.
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Old Oct 12th, 2011, 05:02 AM   #6
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Default Re: 17 year old step daughter (SD) has been disrespectful -- Michigan

You can’t simply kick your daughter from your house until she reaches majority. In Michigan age of majority is 18 years.
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Old Oct 12th, 2011, 06:59 AM   #7
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Default Re: Disrespectful & unruly 17 years old in MI, What are our options?

My husband and I don't let her get away with the crap that the pulls on her mom. Which is part of the reason why living with us isn't really an option - she knows she would have to follow the rules & she's not interested.

Her mom, however, lets this stuff happen. Her main form of dealing with it was to call the cops when she was younger. Now that she's 17 the cops don't really do much. I don't agree with how the mother has handled things for most of the childs life, but there's not much I could do about it when she was in her mother's house.

I was just wondering if the mother had any other options since she can't seem to step up & be the parent.
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Old Oct 12th, 2011, 08:06 AM   #8
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Default Re: 17 year old step daughter (SD) has been disrespectful -- Michigan

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Disrespectful & unruly 17 years old in MI, What are our options?
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Old Oct 12th, 2011, 10:22 AM   #9
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Default Re: Disrespectful & unruly 17 years old in MI, What are our options?

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My husband and I don't let her get away with the crap that the pulls on her mom. Which is part of the reason why living with us isn't really an option - she knows she would have to follow the rules & she's not interested.

Her mom, however, lets this stuff happen. Her main form of dealing with it was to call the cops when she was younger. Now that she's 17 the cops don't really do much. I don't agree with how the mother has handled things for most of the childs life, but there's not much I could do about it when she was in her mother's house.

I was just wondering if the mother had any other options since she can't seem to step up & be the parent.
Yes she does have options. The problem is, she would have to be mature enough to use them. She could hand custody over to the child's father. That would be the simplest solution.
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Old Oct 12th, 2011, 02:24 PM   #10
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Default Re: 17 year old step daughter (SD) has been disrespectful -- Michigan

An option would be to contact social services in your state and see if they can counsel over your "at risk" out of control child. 17-year olds can be very hard to handle once they decide being rebellious pays. An option is foster home for her until she is of age. Another is to ship her to an out of state relative if you can find one willing to take her. With the boyfriend in the picture, she has too much support and opportunity to continue being defiant and taking risky life-altering moves. Learning the "hard way" can have life long consequences.

Another is to see if you can make a 'contract' with this rebellious teen. A written contract that all can agree upon. With a carrot of something she wants at the end. Be it a car, her first year college tuition paid, a trip to Hawaii -- something to motivate her to toe the line for X nol. of months. That way, if she agrees, it will be HER choice -- for something SHE wants -- and not just an oppressive set of rules put down by her keepers. Consider if it is worth the try.
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