Full Custody and wishing to move country

Divorced with full Custody and wishing to move country.

I divorced in South Africa last year after a very protracted and highly acrimonious divorce case. I now have full custody of my 2 children (8 and 11). My ex has regular access to them currently. We are British and have lived here for the past 5 years. I am considering a move back to Europe (not UK) to set up home with a man I hope to marry soon who is based there. My ex threatens that he will use every power available to him and any amount of his considerable wealth to prevent me from relocating. I am very unhappy here, wish for the children and I to be closer to our sizeable family in the UK and, of course, want to start a new happy life with my partner. I am terrified that South African Law will assist him in his 'plot' to keep me here for many years to come until the children leave home. Can you please offer some advice as I do not know where to start .... ?

[missingmyhubby]

Originally Posted by Unregistered

Divorced with full Custody and wishing to move country.

I divorced in South Africa last year after a very protracted and highly acrimonious divorce case. I now have full custody of my 2 children (8 and 11). My ex has regular access to them currently. We are British and have lived here for the past 5 years. I am considering a move back to Europe (not UK) to set up home with a man I hope to marry soon who is based there. My ex threatens that he will use every power available to him and any amount of his considerable wealth to prevent me from relocating. I am very unhappy here, wish for the children and I to be closer to our sizeable family in the UK and, of course, want to start a new happy life with my partner. I am terrified that South African Law will assist him in his 'plot' to keep me here for many years to come until the children leave home. Can you please offer some advice as I do not know where to start .... ?

your ex has every right to contest his children moving to another country. how is he supposed to maintain a relationship with them from hundreds of miles away? my suggestion is to give him custody, then you are free to move with anyone you want. your ex, the father of your children, has the right to have a relationship with them.

Originally Posted by missingmyhubby

your ex has every right to contest his children moving to another country. how is he supposed to maintain a relationship with them from hundreds of miles away? my suggestion is to give him custody, then you are free to move with anyone you want. your ex, the father of your children, has the right to have a relationship with them.

Do you think any decent mother would leave her kids ANYWHERE for another man??! Of course it is not a question of going without them! My ex verbally, emotionally and psychologically abused me for most of our long marriage, frequently infront of our (then) very young children. I am now trying to pick up the pieces of a normal life again with a man who truly loves and respects me and adores my children (and they adore him). My children are number one priority in my life, however I do not feel they will suffer from only spending extended holidays with their father in SA. He uses them as pawns in a sick, ongoing game to distress me. His only desire is to keep me here so that he can watch me...

[missingmyhubby]

Originally Posted by Unregistered

Do you think any decent mother would leave her kids ANYWHERE for another man??! Of course it is not a question of going without them! My ex verbally, emotionally and psychologically abused me for most of our long marriage, frequently infront of our (then) very young children. I am now trying to pick up the pieces of a normal life again with a man who truly loves and respects me and adores my children (and they adore him). My children are number one priority in my life, however I do not feel they will suffer from only spending extended holidays with their father in SA. He uses them as pawns in a sick, ongoing game to distress me. His only desire is to keep me here so that he can watch me...

how is moving to another country with a man youre not married to and away from their father in the best interest of your children? as i said before, dad has a right to a relationship with HIS children. and since dad objects to the move, i dont see a court allowing it. sounds to me like youre only thinking of yourself, not the kids.

I am looking for legal answers to my question, which you clearly cannot give, and telling me I am thinking of myself is far from the truth since you know nothing of my personal situation. I am not the first person in history to wish to relocate with children after a divorce and every case is different. I appeal to someone who KNOWS the laws of South Africa to respond plse? The worldwide conventions relating to children, and their welfare post divorce, must make some kind of allowances for a change in one parents living arrangements? Remarriage to someone living elsewhere? Can anyone ELSE help? I do not believe a judge, seeing my particular circumstances, could prevent both myself and my new husband from living in Europe (where our roots, his business and both our families are) with the children?

[missingmyhubby]

Originally Posted by Unregistered

I am looking for legal answers to my question, which you clearly cannot give, and telling me I am thinking of myself is far from the truth since you know nothing of my personal situation. I am not the first person in history to wish to relocate with children after a divorce and every case is different. I appeal to someone who KNOWS the laws of South Africa to respond plse? The worldwide conventions relating to children, and their welfare post divorce, must make some kind of allowances for a change in one parents living arrangements? Remarriage to someone living elsewhere? Can anyone ELSE help? I do not believe a judge, seeing my particular circumstances, could prevent both myself and my new husband from living in Europe (where our roots, his business and both our families are) with the children?

the bottom line is you need court permsision to take the kids to the uk, if the court says no, then they cant go. period, end of story.