Stay at Home Mom (I am going to file for divorce)

I have been a stay at home mom for 5 years in a 10 year marriage with 2 children, age 3 and age 5. I am going to file for divorce. Some say that I should not get a job now because it could affect the amount of support and alimony I will get. I am hoping to keep the house, but would the judge order that I can keep the house even if I don't have a job that would cover the cost of the mortgage after the divorce? Or would the judge only allow me to keep the house if the alimony and child support ordered can cover the mortgage and household costs? Am i setting myself up if I don't start looking for a job now?

You cannot be sure what the judge will do so you should have all options covered. But at least he will likely order some support until you can get going again. good luck!

How about you get off your lazy but and go get a job. why should he have to pay you enough to pay your mortgage???? I dont understand you woman who think these guys owe you something. Get a JOB. Do something to support yourself instead of sponging off the men all the time. It is dispicable. I wish they would change the laws for divorce and child support and alimony. Its rif=diculous that a man should have to support you after your divorced.

Hey unregistered,

that's an awfully black and white way of looking at it. Many men are able to succeed in careers BECAUSE they have stay at home wives who take care of every OTHER area of their lives including the full-time job of attending to the every need of THEIR children!

[crazylette05]

I agree with marge..I'm not saying you shouldnt get a job i mean obviously you have to be able to live..but as far as it being considered as being lazy to stay home with the kids,no its not..I am a stay at home mom, my fiance asked me not to work b/c there are so many freaks and sexual predators out there you cant trust no one with your kids..So i think its great you have stayed home with them,but i dont know if you will get enough to make it without working at least part time..maybe just like 15-20 hrs/week would help..And it will depend on the type of judge you get..if you get someone who thinks like the dude above your screwed but most will understand where you are coming from..good luck to you.

On the house it all depends. If your husband is loaded the judge could order him to pay up too a set time frame. That should give you enough time to buy his half of the house and you get the financing in your name and you make payments on your house. If you don't agree to that, you all can sell the house and split the proceeds. Like I said if he is loaded the don't work but if he's not then look for a job. The money you get from here might cover the babysitter fees. Good luck

I think your answer was wrong. I'm a stay home mom taking care of children, is not an easy job, but is a JOB. When you choose to have children you should also choose to be there for them and take care of them, not dropping them off in a day care. So, you think that is O.K. for a man to leave his home and children just because he wants a divorce, and know the wife has to financially support the kids on her own. Do you have any idea how hard is to find a job this days, especially as a stay home mom?
I don’t know if you are a man or a woman, but if you are a man then you should understand the real meaning of the word “man” and what his responsibilities are. Sounds to me that you have no idea how is to be a parent, only a selfish person could speak that way. Sure she should get a job. But know, at this point, where she is in sock and stressed and confused and scared, because her husband decided over night to get a divorce and stop supporting her and the kids, he has to pay her. He has to pay for her and her children, not only because that is the law, but because is logical and normal to do that. It could be him a stay home dad and her a mom that has a job and wants a divorce and refuse to pay him.

Originally Posted by Unregistered How about you get off your lazy but and go get a job. why should he have to pay you enough to pay your mortgage???? I dont understand you woman who think these guys owe you something. Get a JOB. Do something to support yourself instead of sponging off the men all the time. It is dispicable. I wish they would change the laws for divorce and child support and alimony. Its rif=diculous that a man should have to support you after your divorced.

WOW...that is an EXTREMELY ignorant, judgemental way of looking at this!! And it INFURIATES me. I am a SAHM of 4 children, aged 8, 6, 4 and 1. After 8 years of marriage and 12 WASTED years with him, my soon to be ex husband cheated on me and I will SOON be filing for divorce. #1) Stay at home moms are FARRRR from lazy. Our days are never 9 to 5. We rarely get time away. #2) If the husband had agreed that staying home with the children is the best thing for them, then why should that change after a divorce. I mean, haven't the kids been through enough!? #3) If they can't keep it in their PANTS, then they should PAY...dearly. #4) Once they are ordered to pay child support, they have NO SAY in what it gets used for. Period.
People seem to forget that divorces should be MAINLY in the children's best interest FIRST.

Originally Posted by Unregistered How about you get off your lazy but and go get a job. why should he have to pay you enough to pay your mortgage???? I dont understand you woman who think these guys owe you something. Get a JOB. Do something to support yourself instead of sponging off the men all the time. It is dispicable. I wish they would change the laws for divorce and child support and alimony. Its rif=diculous that a man should have to support you after your divorced.

Get off our lazy butt,,,, with two t's... first of all..
women stay home and take care of the children and men have no worries about who is going to take care of their children while they go to work, the house is clean, their clothes are ironed and hanging, the house is taken care of by the woman, and repairs are made by the woman... and yet in the end... we are the ones who are trying to find sitters so that we can find a job so that we can somewhere to live with three kids and still make time to clean , dinner, homework , baths etc... you men have it made.. you are a jerk.. typical man.

[Madison]

This post is a waste of time and energy. Yes being a stay at home mom is a full time job, but only works with a 2 parent household. Meaning one parent provides, other parent cares for kids ect. My advice, these days women need to be strong and have enough resources, education to have a career if ever need be. Get a job working during the day, when kids are in school or graveyard, leave with family member or get a nanny. You will need to work, you won't get enough in alimony and child support for a mortgage and to live on.