More Help for Non-Custodial Parent

[pajohnson]

I am a Mother of 3. I am also the Non-custodial parent. I am in need of some major advice, please. He has my visitation set at 2 days a month from 8am-6pm. Now, that I am getting married, and he doesn't like the fact that my Fiance and I are living together, for financial reasons, he has changed the time I pick my girls up to 2pm-6pm. And I cannot leave the area they live in, which is 60 miles away from me. He doesn't even think he is going to let them be in or come to my wedding.

I have not been able to "fight" him for a couple of reasons. First, I don't want my girls hurt any more then they have already been. Secondly, his father-in-law is his attorney. He has been remarried for 6 or 7 years now.

My daughters are 17, 13 and 11. I know my oldest can chose, and when she was 13 she wanted to come live with me. But he told her she couldn't and that it would be the worst mistake she would ever make. Her Step Mom then told her that if she did come live with me, her Dad would never want to see her again, nor would he allow her in his house again.

I want to be with my girls, and see them. I honestly want them with me!! He has even asked me to sign over my rights to them, but I told him I would die first!

If anyone has any advice, please let me know.

I have even started a website to hopefully help others out there like me! Please visit my site, click Home. If anyone wants to leave advice or their story, that would be wonderful!

Thank you for listening to me!

Patricia

[tbyte]

One parent, even the custodial parent, cannot arbitrarily change the visitation schedule or make unilateral demands on the other parent.
Know what your court orders say, and insist upon your rights. Do not allow yourself to be bullied if you know you have the law or the court orders on your side.

[pajohnson]

Thank you so much for responding to me.

I just don't know what steps to take to handle this appropriately. He has always intimidated me, especially since his Father-In-Law is his attorney and he knows I can't afford one. Where can I find what I need to do? As you can see, I am very naive in this area.

[tbyte]

The first thing is to know exactly what your visitation orders state.
Then, let the father know that if he violates them you will file charges of contempt.
Then, if he does violate them, file Motion For Contempt with the court, along with an affidavit detailing the facts. Use a prior motion and affidavit from your case as templates, and sign the affidavit in front of a notary public at your local bank.

[pajohnson]

I don't have a prior motion or affidavit from the case. All I have are the papers that were filed after our mediation. The papers when our divorce papers were modified. Is there somewhere I can see a template and go from there?

[tbyte]

You got all the way through what surely must have been a contested divorce and custody process, and there were never any motions or affidavits filed on the case?
I find that hard to believe.
Nonetheless, you can use google to try to find some examples online.

[pajohnson]

It was not contested. As I stated, I was very naive, and thought he would be fair. So I didn't have an attorney or anything. I didn't even know when the court date was. He had me watching the kids while he went to court, but didn't tell me where he was going. I did not receive any notification on the court date.

I haven't fought him over all these years because I didn't want to hurt my girls any more then they already were. He has a tendancy to put them in the middle, even though he thinks he doesn't. They have been through enough, but now, they are older and I want my girls!

[pajohnson]

I want my kids. I want to modify my visitation and my CS. I am tired of him pushing me and trying to control my life. I have jumped through hoops for him to see my kids. I am ready to fight him to some extent. I still don't want my girls hurt.

I just can't afford an attorney to modify anything. The way he has my child support set up, even when my oldest reaches 18, I still have to pay the same amount so it will go on the arrearage. I pay now him $9334.00 per year and I pay it on a weekly basis. I have also been told that I make too much for legal aide. I feel I am backed into a corner and really don't know what options I have out there.

I would file it on my own, but I honestly would probably be terrified to be in front of a Judge with my ex and his attorney on the other side of me. I would be so lost.

[tbyte]

You need to find a way to retain an attorney. That is your only option.
Retaining an attorney will cost you about $1,500 dollars.

[pajohnson]

I know and that is where I fall. I honestly just don't have it. After paying my child support and my bills, food and fuel, I may have a total of $150-200 left a month.