Mother

I was marries to a man for 7 yrs we divorced due to alcoholism that led to abuse that involved 8 affairs. He never once came to court during the proceedings his attorney asked to be relieved due to the fact he was uncoropotive. He has not paid but a total of $65.00 a month on child supprt and that was through Income withholdings (he fled the state) the Child support enforcement just got him into court on 9/11 and the Judge says he is not willing to modify the order due to the fact he blatenly defied the court order in fact he raised his arrears (35,300.00 total behind in CS)

He finally brought an attorney to court for the very first time since this began 3/04 temp order 4/05 final decree 4/06 contempt order etc...HE has been charged w/cruelty to children in the 2nd (to a lessor he was arrested for child cruetly in the 3rd) and placed on probation in 04. A huge amount of "domestic violence" issues through out the last couple of yrs or marriage and after the seperation & divorce.

Now this man has got an attorney that is actually representing him saying that he is a fit parnet and should have custody of our 11yr old daughter even though he doesn't have a license for 2 reasons DUI 1st & secondly failure to pay child support. No vehicle and he has just got a place to live within the last 5 weeks. He still owes attorney fees from the first jusgement and his attorney actually has it in the modification order that I pay his attorney fees this is the most obsurd mess I have ever seen. Now what do you suggest I should have to go and pay out more attorney fees just for myself I know the judge isn't going to rule in this mans favor it would be crazy. I in fact left his attorney a message that the court date would have to be moved it was on my scheduled work day and it is only a 7 day notice suggestions pleaseLaGrange GA

[tbyte]

He has a slimeball attorney who is either playing games with you, or leading him on with lies and false promises.
Call their bluff, and let his attorney know that you will be asking for attorney fees in this case, and that you were granted attorney fees in previous cases.
His attorney may come to realize that he has a slim chance of being paid himself. It is also possible that your ex has not been honest with his attorney.

I was thinking the same thing; in fact he pulled a real good one the day before the 9/11 child support hearing. He had a welfare check performed after midnight. The police came to my door to check on my daughter whom had been in the bed since 9:30. The police chose not to go up to her room because they sensed I guess this was a joke. This was followed up with a detective and DHR going out to the school totally scaring my child to death then they came to my home looking for the following: a marijuana field behind my house; perform a drug test on me claimed I had no food in the house and I was popping pills. The Inv. immediately told me she did not need to be there after interviewing my daughter and seeing my home (nice home that I pay for not him) and then the DHR performed their screening and immediately told me they did not normally get to go to nice homes etc and of course no drugs in my system because I do not do drugs it was humiliating al though the ladies told me it was a closed case immediately. Now are there any actions I can take for him putting her/us though this? Do you think I need to hire another attorney for this silly modification process? Of course on Monday I do intend on calling a friend of mine that is an attorney. I just wanted to seek out other thoughts.

In addition if you are wondering why I am up so late I am at work. I began working a rotating shift in Mar of this yr after being on day shift for the last 17yrs (total 20 years & 2 months w/same company I am 41). I chose this shift because I only work 14 days a month and beginning next yr I have enough vacation to take 1 week off every month I will be in school full time working on my second career. So therefore I will only have to work a week a month and I am looking forward to it!

[tbyte]

Call you friend, the attorney.
Hit this guy and his lawyer back HARD. Make sure the court is aware of what happened, by getting statements from each of the agencies that checked into you.
The court will NOT like the games they are playing. You could even file a grievance against his attorney with the State Bar Association. That might set him back on his heels a bit.
Let them know that you are NO pushover.

Thanks for your thoughts I truley appreciate it. That is exactly what I plan on doing is hitting them hard. I am going to ask the court to order her father in counseling for alcohol & parenting classes. If he wants visitation then he needs to sober up and learn how to be a parent.

[GA Mother]

Mother Tired of Drama is now registered as GA Mother.

[tbyte]

Originally Posted by Tired of Drama

I am going to ask the court to order her father in counseling for alcohol & parenting classes.

That's a good start, but take some action against his attorney as well.
Do NOT, however, do anything that a court would consider unjustified or unreasonable. You want to keep the Judge on your side.

[GA Mother]

I went to court today and represented myself. The judge did take my request for my x-husband to complete a parenting class. In addition he has odered his childs support to be paid the 1st of the month every month. I agreed to allow my daughter to have visitation every other Sun from 9am-6:00 pm with an adult present; the judge reinforced that he must refrain from drinking in addion to attend an alcohol program.

I will transport her and pick her up. I also have my daughter going back to couseling to ensure her emotional health is being evaluated and if she has any concerns work together w/couselor to address them.

[lost and worried mom]

how do i put my story out so that i can try to find some kind of help
i'm at my whits end in tryig to find help to get my dauther back i've been
trying for the last 5 years but every time i've done what my mother has
asked me to do she comes up withing else she has legal gardinship of her
can you please help me