Help for Non Custodial Parent (Secondary Custodial Parent)

In Florida my husband is known as the "secondary custodial parent", meaning the ex-wife has custody. Just recently we were notified of a issue pertaining to the 16yr old child. My husband handled the situation and then decided to check into some things, i.e. lies, denials, etc. etc. In his checking he found that in the past 2 years the 16 yr old has gone down the wrong road. Whenever this child stays with us (which is often - weekends, vacations, holidays, etc), he is "an angel", you would never know there are problems with the alcohol, drugs, school, etc. Even when we, the ex and the kids would get together and talk about everything, the ex and the kids never once mentioned problems. All was "right as rain" in our lives. In the past 30 days since my husband started doing his "checking things out", it has come to light that the ex has been covering for the child. Every form of punishment that my husband and his ex have set up, has been overturned by the ex. Example..my husband took the kid's cell phone away. The ex got him another one. We decided he wasnt allowed out without a parent or the parents spouse. The ex drops him off at a party with 16-18 yr old!! A friend of ours called us and told us he had seen the son at this house and was going to find himself in trouble because he was starting trouble with the other party goers. My husband goes to the party to pick the child up and the child runs away. He actually disappeared for several days. In the courts here in Florida there is an act called the Marcham Act (sorry for the spelling). This act enabled my husband to file before a judge that once the 16yr old came home, he could be picked up by authorities and held in lock down for 7 days. Now the 16 yr old "hates dad"! He is back home w/his mother, and still being enabled by her. So far we have spoken to one lawyer about what we can do to get this kid straightened out, but have been told up front it will cost $10,000 or more. I want my step son helped and put back on the right path. What can my husband as the non custodial parent do????

[tbyte]

He can talk to his son.
And listen.
And then talk and listen some more.
That is about the extent of control a secondary-custodial father has over a 16 year old child. By this age, children cannot be controlled. They either follow you out of respect, or they do not follow you at all. So gaining respect is the only option.