illegal alien, emotionally abusive resident husband, please help

Originally Posted by Kathryn If you hate to sound insensitive then shut your mouth. What an ignorant thing to say. He is committing a crime called domestic violence (verbal threats and illegal imprisonment). May you be given the same compassion in the future that you've shown this woman.

She's committing a crime too.

One crime doesn't cancel out the other.

Get your overly sensitive emotions under control before you spout off.

Originally Posted by Unregistered being inthe country illegally doesn't entitle anyone to abuse.She is human despite her status

Nobody said anything about it "entitling" anyone to abuse. The fact is, however, that it's a crime to be in the country illegally. What's the beef with that?

I live In Phoenix Arizona and Im currently in a similar situation. I need advise soon. Im 23 years old and have 2 kids. The oldest who is 4 is from a previous relationship and my second child is a 1 and a half. I have been with my husband for three years but married only one. Like in the other cases, he is very controlling about everything. About what I wear who I talk to, money, and he always degrades me. I know that being here illegally in the first place is a crime but I was just a kid when came to this country. Eventhough I went to school here I cannot get a job or even drive so he always kicks me out but says I cannot take any of the two vehicles to move my things out
because I have no license and Im just a loser ass wet
back (sorry I kn it's so graphic) Since I opened my eyes and realized his true self, I went to an immigration lawer to start up the process and at first he said he would helpe. But then as soon as he flips he started saying that it's my problem and he will not help me economically or even give me the job letter from his work. He recently got a bonus and decided he is going to buy new car rims with that and he says I'm s.o.l. That I'm on my own and to do that on my own because it's not his fault I'm here illegally cuz he didn't bring me here in the first place. I told him I don't want to be with him and that I want to leave so to please let me and my kids go in peace. I told him to lend me that money and that I would even notorize a paper stating that I will pay him back. He tells me to leave. To get out of his house and that hes not gonna help me with that cuz he's tired of supporting me. I'm not a free loader. I work here at home all day with my kids cooking, cleaning, taking care of my kids and every other weekend I take care of his other three kids while he just sleeps on the weekend while his off. He tells me to leave but that he's not gonna sign anything and he will divorce me and fight me in court to take away my daughter because I'm illegal. Please help. Eventhough he is mentally, emotionally, and psychologically abusive, now I feel like I just can't get up and go because he will end up destroying my life. I'm not asking for anything rather than that now because I need to be able to drive freely with my children as I am the one who always watches over them and takes them to the doctor and what not. And I need to be able to work in this country without any problem so that I can be able to provide for my children. Please someone give me some advice. Thanks

Originally Posted by Unregistered I called them and they said that because I don't have any proof or bruises (he don't hit me yet, just emotionally abuse and control) they can't take me in. So what should I do then. No help from anywhere.

hi how are you now?

Originally Posted by anya7891 Little about me: I'm 24 years old ,have 3 children ages 5,3 and 1. I am illegal alien because my husband (resident) never send out the papers for me after marriage (one of his ways to control me). I can't work, I have to ask him for money and explain what I need for each time. He broke 4 of my phones because he said he can, because he paid for them. He scare me that he will take my kids away because I don't have any rights here. He took all the money I ever had from my mom etc. , broke my car, bought himself another but I don't have a car anymore. I can't color my hair, I can't put make up on. I have to beg for everything. He made me move to another state where I don't have nobody. No family, no friends. He said that he will not pay for my phone this month, said for my mother to pay for it (there is no way as my mom lives in Poland) and I will be alone at home with 3 little ones without money, car or phone. He constantly lies to me. About the money about what he spends it on, how much he earned. I have no idea how much he earns and how much he spends. All I know is our house that we rent that's it. Lately he started to touch me in private places and when I said no he was laughing. He thought that I am just-I don't know playing with him? I thought no means no. He never raped me or hit me so I have no idea how to get out of this so people believe me. I was in deep depression after birth of last child, I had to take zoloft. He said that no court will give me children because I am crazy and that if I will leave him not only he will have children but also I will be deported. I don't know what to do. He makes me crazy, playing with my mind. Being nice and kind one day and awful abuser another day. I am afraid if I will put up with it I will soon kill myself. There is no need for me to live when nobody respect me and my needs.

hi, how are you? Why happened to you now? I'm now going through the same situation as yours. What did you do? Please help