need some advise!PLEASE!!!!!

[dan jarmuzek]

my girlfriends 14yr old and i got into a argument when his mom was talking to him about his community service that he has not done.He refused to listen so i walked over to the chair he was sitting in and told him to knock it off and listen to your mother,well he ludged up at me so i sat down on him so he would'nt hurt himself or anyone else,i told him i would get up when he stopped and listened.No harm was brought to him,nor was i trying to hurt him,i just wanted him to listen to his mom about something i think is important.Well now his dad wants to press abuse charges on me and wants to fight my girlfriend for custody.What are our options?And with his dad going around lying about what happened could i get him for slander?Please we need to know what to do.I helped raise that kid since he was seven and this is the only time that something like this has happened.My girlfriend and i just want closer on this matter.Please help.Thank you,DAN

He is not likely to fully change custody based on one incident where no physical harm seemed to occur.

You may be best off to ignore him and if he does file, simply show the court your long and involved history raising the child.

You, as an adult, with no relation to the child, should not have touched him physically in any way. Sitting down on him is considered unlawful restraint and yes, the child's father may have a good shot at convincing a judge that you may not be around the child.

You are an adult and he is a child. You have no legal right to parent him in any way. You are not married to the child's mother, again, no legal right to parent the child.

You can try to sue the child's father for slander but if you have not had any direct harm come to you as a result (such as a job loss as a result of the slander), or if the child's father is saying what he believes is the truth, you will not get far with your lawsuit.

You practiced very poor judgment in sitting down on the child. As the adult, you should know better than that.

It doesn't matter if any physical harm seems to have occurred. Once someone begins to get physical, it usually escalates. If you got away with it once, what's to stop you from doing it again? Besides, psychological harm is much worse than physical harm and you really don't know how your actions have affected this child. Perhaps he's now frightened of you.

Keep your hands off this woman's child and learn to practice a bit more adult restraint.