Don't know how to get out of this situation

[Endless]

I have been living with my "fiance" for 12 1/2 years now. We have two children, ages 9 & 11. I refuse to marry him because of his violent and abusive personality. I had him arrested when I was pregnant. At the time I was convinced he was out of my life for good but unfortunately he came crawling back and I took him in. He went to anger management classes, was good for a while then once he stopped going the verbal and emotional abuse started again. Physical abuse stopped when children got older, about 4 years ago. The children love him very much, he doesn't abuse them physically but he does yell at them a lot.

He can't hold a job for more than two years without getting fired. I've had the same job for 18 years now, I consider myself a pretty stable, responsible person. He is totally the opposite. I am quite and low key, he is loud and obnoxious. I bought a house over 3 years ago because he promised he was going to keep his job at the time where he was making good money. A year after we bought the house, he changed jobs and then got fired. Has been out of work for 18 months. I'm facing foreclosure.

He is very controlling, jealous and what I consider a sick person who has to have sex everyday or else calls me every name in the book and accuses me of being unfaithful. My skin crawls when he touches me. If I don't submit he starts yelling and cursing me out in the middle of the night when the children are sleeping. My heart breaks when my son wakes up crying.

I tried going to a family therapist but it was a total disaster.

I have no family. During the years with him I have developed Lupus, high blood pressurre and thyroid problems.

I need to get out of this situation but don't know how. I invested a very big part of my retirement funds in this home and don't want to loose it. All the bills are under my name. Even though I have a good salary, I need whatever he brings home to keep afloat financially.

We're working with the court to help save the house but he needs to be around for that. For my own sanity and my children's well being, I need out ASAP. How can I do this without loosing my home?