Domestic assault charges...as a victim can I have them dropped?

[megspegs]

To fully understand here is the story,

My husband has a substance abuse problem and I recently made him leave our house. We have a baby and on Sunday of last week he came to see her. He has been attending A.A and has a drug and alcohol assessment done and is trying to get sober. Anyways, he wanted to know when he could come home and I told him I didn't know and I wasn't ready for him to come home yet and he needed to prove to me that he was serious about getting clean. My husband and I got into a verbal arguement and I asked him to leave he got mad and so did I, he had our baby in his arms and I went to grab her from him and he grabbed my leg. He ended up threatening me and he left, but I ended up calling the police. The police charged him with domestic assault, but I don't want him charged with anything...I know it is a little late for that. There is no previous history of violence and he has no criminial record. I know many victims of violence say this, but he really is not aggressive, our issues are the sustances he abuses. My questions to anyone out there is:

What kind of punishment can he face best and worse scenerio?
Can the charges be dropped?
What can I do and what should he do?
And what do we do if we can't afford a lawyer?

We live in Ontario.

PLEASE HELP! I am so stressed over this matter and I just want to work on my marriage and getting him the help he needs.

[gags]

Hi there,

I am in a same kind of situation that you were. I just want to know how did u resolve this. Did u take the charges off from him? Please help me in this case, i feel helpless. I am also in Ontario, so same rules would apply to me. I hope you get back to me ASAP.

Thanks in advance,

Hi,

I had to see victim services and the crown, I told them what happened and because he had no previous charges or offences the court eventually gave him an absolute discharge. However, we did have a lawyer who was working on his behalf, so I recommend getting one. The reality is that these situations are awful and don't always turn out the way you hope. So in answer to having the charges dropped, no you can't...in Ontario once you make the call to the police that's it, it is out of your hands and the police make the charges. The crown should ask you what you want to do, however I was told to remember that there are a lot of women out there who say they want the charges dropped because they are afraid of what that person might do to them. I hope this helps and good luck to you...I am truly sorry that you are in this position in the first place, I know it is hard, take it one day at a time that is all you can do and the system does the rest.

Take care

[fifilarue]

Drink and drugs do not make people become abusive; people are abusive already, and maybe the drink makes them less inhibited. You are fooling yourself if you blame the drugs, not the person. And he's using a lame excuse. It only gets worse.

In most jurisdictions, a victim of a crime cannot have the charges dropped. It is the state prosecuting the perp, just as when someone steals from a bank; the bank doesn't get to decide if the person should be prosecuted or not. And while you may believe you were the only victim, what about the children? This gives the message it is okay to hurt someone if you are tired or angry or on drugs.

HI
My husbend and me were having some verbal conversation early in the morning..one of our neighbour called the police. they came and i was so upset then they took my husbend.though i told them please don't take him..i was really happy with him..just for a little thing i don wanna loose him..i called the police and request them to release him..but they took him to the jail..and then after 12 hours they released him but the court put some condition that we can't meet each other and all...i don't even know where is he staying since i can't contact him.. after 1 week i went to the court because it was his hearing date..one case worker talked with me and told me that she will pass my wish to the crown..but i don't know she really did or not...and then the corwn said she needs more time to investigate and she postponed the case to next week..I really want to be with him..i don't wanna loose him...he is such a nice person.. now i don't know what to do..the crown is not even contacting me..only a case worker talked to me and told me she will pass my wish to the corwn..i don't know what is gonna happen next week. we both never had any charges before..I'm just streesing out at home thinking of him...can any one reply plzzzzzzzzzz...........