Domestic assault charges... as a victim can I have them dropped?

This is a discussion on Domestic assault charges... as a victim can I have them dropped? within the Domestic Violence & Abuse forum, part of the Divorce, Separation, Annulment category; Did you mean why can't you? Because she's a woman and unfortunately, gender bias still exists in today's society. Too ...

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Old Mar 6th, 2010, 09:10 AM   #11
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Default Re: Domestic assault charges... as a victim can I have them dropped?

Did you mean why can't you? Because she's a woman and unfortunately, gender bias still exists in today's society.

Too many women abuse the legal system because the legal system makes it so easy for them to abuse it.

Thank O.J. Simpson for it. He got the ball rolling on "domestic violence".
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Old Mar 12th, 2010, 06:25 PM   #12
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Default Re: Domestic assault charges... as a victim can I have them dropped?

I am in the same situation....
Its been one week, and his next court date is in 3 weeks, no contact and its very tough
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Old Mar 13th, 2010, 01:32 AM   #13
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Default Re: Domestic assault charges... as a victim can I have them dropped?

So here is the story. My husband is in the army (British) and he used to hit me a lot then when he hit me while i was pregnant (broke my thumb) on one occasion and assaulted me in hospital on another when i was 7 months pregnant in the presence of a patient and a nurse, i was forced to press charges against him. In investigating, police came up with a lot of evidence and this includes..individual witnesses, intense medical records, photos of my battered face, emails that i sent to people and i dont know what else as they are not allowed to tell what evidence they have before a case. But then,i decided to drop the charges for i just want to move on with my life so i did another interview with the police telling them that i wished to drop the charges.

THEY PRESSED 7 DIFFERENT CHARGES AGAINST HIM...4 ASSAULT (two serious as he used a pressing iron and a torch to hit me) AND THREE SEXUAL...ALTHOUGH FOR SEXUAL THEY HAVE NOT MUCH EVIDENCE EXCEPT FOR HEARSAY AND DOCS REPORT I CONFIDED IN And oh, other evidence is blood on the wall.

What chances are there that they will actually stop the case seeing as they have much evidence? Will my wishes be considered? If found guilty, what would he face?
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Old Apr 19th, 2010, 10:25 AM   #14
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Confused Re: Domestic assault charges... as a victim can I have them dropped?

My husband and I got into a heated argument because I caught him talking on his cell to another woman. Of course he denied it and I slapped him. He was drinking and assaulted me afterwards and I then called the police because I wanted him to leave my house and go live with his other woman and he wouldn't. Police came and took both of our statements but because I hit him first I was arrested and charge with assault. I was also told to stay away from our home for 72 hours. I have to appear before the courts. Do I need to get a lawyer? I have never been arrested before in my life; no criminal record of any kind.
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Old Apr 19th, 2010, 05:28 PM   #15
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Default Re: Domestic assault charges... as a victim can I have them dropped?

Here we see again, in writing, yet another woman who has abused the domestic violence laws. YOU slapped HIM, and yet when you got it back, you called the cops to protect you.

Keep your hands to yourself and you won't have to cry to the police when you get back what you give.

Kudos to the police officers who properly did their job and arrested you. You started it, you deserve the same punishment.

Of course you need an attorney. You could also benefit from anger management classes, so as to avoid this type of predicament in the future. But that is purely sidebar advice that I'm sure won't be taken as intended.
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Old Mar 27th, 2011, 07:33 PM   #16
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Default Re: Domestic assault charges... as a victim can I have them dropped?

Hey everyone.

My boyfriend and I got in a bit of a disagreement the other night and the police were called. I'd like to share what I've learned in the past while to help anyone else who is going through something similar.

He came and grabbed my neck to stop me from leaving. It sounds bad but at the same time he was not trying to physically harm me and I didn't feel like I was in danger of being hurt. I did have a bit of a freak out though. Our relationship had been a bit rocky and I was kind of on edge. I was more scared of what I was to do than of him and it all kind of collided.

He ended up being arrested even though I just wanted to get my stuff from the apartment and let it go. Laws in Ontario say that the cops decide if charges are filed or not. I felt horrible after, I love this man with all my heart. I know he would never hurt me and he has always treated me with the utmost respect.Forgive yourself, you did what you felt was the best thing at the time. You'll feel lighter.

Automatically he could not go back to our apartment or have any contact with me what-so-ever. I think for me this really sucks. I want to talk it out with him and see where we stand but we'll be arrested if we see each other. He now has a lawyer and has a court date tomorrow. I love sharing with him.

I did a bit of research online and talked to a very nice officer who gave me some advice. The best thing I can do at this point is submit a letter to the court on his behalf. I've been told its best if I don t show up when he gets called but give it to the crown attorney and it will be passed on to the right people.

This entire thing has helped me to see all the wonderful things I appreciate in him and in myself.I feel grateful that this happened and I would like to be reunited with him as soon as possible. I know he is a forgiving person and that we can understand each other.

At the end of the day I had tons of options and he is a reflection of me. My man is a reflection of who Iam.

If your going through something similar find the good that's come out of the situation, it will help you feel better
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Old Mar 28th, 2011, 07:48 AM   #17
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Default Re: Domestic assault charges... as a victim can I have them dropped?

It would take a very "understanding" person (or perhaps stupid) to "look past" someone having them falsely arrested and giving them a permanent criminal record.

Women abuse the domestic violence laws like they do custody because - once again - family court is biased against men and hands out Protection from Abuse orders like candy to a child.

I'm glad you had such a "wonderful" experience from this since you're not the one who got arrested falsely by some a s as hole abusing the system and you're not the one with the criminal record now thanks to someone abusing police time. I'm sure your boyfriend doesn't share your sentiment.
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Old Apr 4th, 2011, 06:53 PM   #18
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Default Re: Domestic assault charges... as a victim can I have them dropped?

I had a girlfriend who accused me of assaulting her, we were both intoxicated and we were the only ones
there, she through a knife at me, cornered me and hit kicked, punched, scratched, bit, everything she could to hurt me because i tried to leave during the arguement, i even locked myself in the bathroom at one point to call the police and she kicked in the door and continued the assault, i pushed her off me several times and i wasnt gentle about it, either way i was arrested because she was bruised up, i was bleeding, scratched, shirt torn to shreds and the cop wouldnt take pictures of my wounds although he did of hers, theres no witnesses and i did take pics the next day of my wounds, she plead guilty to assaulting me in another case a year before and i also put a restraining order on her for showing up at my house, assaulting me, my mom, and my little sister, she didnt even go to jail in that situation, either way im looking at up
to 7 yrs for domestic assault on her...... what are your thoughts in this case?
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Old Apr 4th, 2011, 09:05 PM   #19
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Default Re: Domestic assault charges... as a victim can I have them dropped?

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Originally Posted by Unregistered View Post
I had a girlfriend who accused me of assaulting her, we were both intoxicated and we were the only ones
there, she through a knife at me, cornered me and hit kicked, punched, scratched, bit, everything she could to hurt me because i tried to leave during the arguement, i even locked myself in the bathroom at one point to call the police and she kicked in the door and continued the assault, i pushed her off me several times and i wasnt gentle about it, either way i was arrested because she was bruised up, i was bleeding, scratched, shirt torn to shreds and the cop wouldnt take pictures of my wounds although he did of hers, theres no witnesses and i did take pics the next day of my wounds, she plead guilty to assaulting me in another case a year before and i also put a restraining order on her for showing up at my house, assaulting me, my mom, and my little sister, she didnt even go to jail in that situation, either way im looking at up
to 7 yrs for domestic assault on her...... what are your thoughts in this case?
My thoughts are this: typical. The police have been trained to not take female on male domestic abuse seriously. They are "trained" to believe the man must have done the damage to himself to get himself off the hook when they are called to the scene.

It's absolutely appalling that men are abused by women and are either not take seriously or ridiculed for "allowing a girl to beat them up". If a man beats a woman, he's an abuser. If a woman beats a man, he's a wimp. Research any domestic violence shelter or help center and ask them if they help men as well as women. After they get done looking at you like you're a bug, they'll laugh at you for asking such an "absurd" question.

It's really a no win situation for the man. And once again, you can thank O.J. Simpson for making "domestic violence" another money making scheme for the police force and the local courts.

You should have told the cops she was your roommate and not your girlfriend. Then it would have been a lesser offense and it would have been considered "simple assault". NEVER tell a police officer you are romantically involved with the woman if the cops are called.
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Old Apr 5th, 2011, 06:26 PM   #20
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Default Re: Domestic assault charges... as a victim can I have them dropped?

I totally agree with you the state is in charge as well they should be for I am talking from experience I am a survivor of abuse and I unfortunately did not learn from the last time it took me 2 bad relationships to get help finally. My first boyfriend I had put charges against him and had them dropped he then used it to his advantage to torment me and when I had need of the police they treated me like a flake and untrustworthy because I had dropped charges on him before. I went through hell after because he threw me out and kept our son I went to court for 7 yrs and still lost custody as being not credible all because I dropped the charges.

So everyone out there please read my story and think twice about dropping charges of abuse, because if you had to call the police in first place or your neighbors it is because you are still in denial that you are in an abusive relationship, because a normal relationship there is never the police involved.
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