what constitutes abuse?

[broken]

My local district attorney's office has a web page that states there are other forms of domestic abuse, such as mental and financial and others types of abuse. When I called them and left a message on their answering machine explaining my situation, they did not even bother to call me back! Yippee! Our tax dollars NOT at work! Now for the background:

I had a partner who lived with me and ran up debts on my credit cards and I also stupidly made a loan for a vehicle for him. This was while we were living together in my house and prior to Hurricane Katrina. After Katrina he went back to a more lucrative type of employment that he had done years before. Financially we did better for a while. Then it got bad. I could not work regularly due to depression. But I tried to, to at least try and make some money that I could count as mine alone.

Then during the summer of 2007 he started being gone to TX to work all the time. And if it was not that, he was supposed to be visiting his family there. In December 2007 I found out he was cheating on me for months out of town. He even gave the other woman an engagement ring too. Everyone knew about her except me, even the people he worked with. And some of those co-workers aided him in his cheating efforts.

I did not marry him because I knew he had a living wife that he had never divorced. He led me to believe that some day the sick wife would die and he would be free to marry me. All the time he was seeing, having a physical relationship with, calling, and emailing this other woman he was doing the same with me. And I believed it when he told me he loved me and would be home soon, but he never came home. And I believed him when he said he would be with me a long time, that we were going to make it together. He even recently emailed me and wrote that he loved me dearly! Yeah right buddy.

Before I found out about the other woman, his money for our bills started coming in sporadically to the joint account that was set up for his use. He never got re-imbursed for his work expenses, but now I know he did and he spent that money on her too. I used his money to pay his bills when he was out of town and to help pay household bills here, stupidly assuming he still lived with me. After I found out, he did put some money in the joint account for my use because he assured me numerous times both verbally and in emails that he would help pay the bills he helped make and that he benefited from. The money has now stopped and I am having to seriously consider bankruptcy. I have received no verbal communication from him in a while. Emails responses from him are now sporadic and not pertinent to the email he is replying to. I have given him options - he can not even give me an answer on that other than to continue to say he will put money in the bank for me, but he doesn't. I check the account online regularly.

He has told the local probation office that he still lives with me in LA, but he is really living in TX. He keeps getting travel permits to go there for work. I provided probation of written proof that he does NOT live with me and has not for months. They don't care as long as he has a travel permit and is current with his fees. It is so nice to know that our state legal system operates like that! Our tax dollars are so NOT at work here! I hate to imagine what other persons on probation here are able to get away with.

I have been told there is a LA law that says that the person benefiting from the debt is the one responsible for the debt even if that debt is in another person's name. Is this true?

I have been told that I can not report the vehicle I bought for his use as stolen because I verbally gave him permission to use it and that I can not revoke permission. The sheriff's deputy said they would refuse to file the charge for me. Is this true?

So does this amount to him being able to screw me over financially and just walk away and leave me no recourse? He makes FIVE times what I make on my job and can afford to do anything he pleases. I have to sit home like someone on Social Security who can't afford anything. We used to go out together regularly when he was here, for dinner, drinks, short trips, or casino trips. That is now over and done with because he gave me the lifestyle and has now taken it away and given it to another woman in another state.

Any answers or suggestions out there????

[olive]

If they will not help, then based on what you say here, you could file suit against him (or at least threaten to do so) in small claims court or in regular court; filing in small claims court is easier and requires no attorney...you could try to collect all of the costs and damages that you suffered due to his behavior...