I need some information.....Please!!

Hello.............I am really confused, and feeling rather helpless. My wife and I are constantly arguing, and this has become a loveless marriage. We have two gorgeous children, and we have thrown the "D" word around more than we should, but it is becoming more and more apparent that we need to end this. My concerns are thus:

The long and short of it is, she is abusive, and rather unkind for the majority of our time together. She snaps easily and is unreasonable. I would like to get a joint custody. If possible, what would be ideal would be 4 days on, 3 days off, then her four days on, three days off, and back again....Is that feasable.

There is absolutely no intimacy in our marriage. We don't really hug, or kiss or hold one another's hand. She has never been all that sexual, and that has always been a problem...but now, I don't really even find myself interested in that any longer.

As I said, she is rather abusive. Always finding fault in what I do. If I do something that she disagrees with, she'll say, "That was stupid, don't you think?!", or "Why are you acting like a moron?!!" None of this is ideal, and having come from a family where my parents were loving and kind and dealt with each other reasonably, it is alarming and flat out unacceptable!

She is not willing to change. We tried marriage counselling, and while I will be the first to say, I have faults, the long and short of our short stint in therapy was that she has to do a better job of accepting me for who I am....She has never really done that.....EVER!!!!

I want my children to see their parents in happy, loving, fulfilling relationships. It is unrealistic to think it will be as a couple, us together. This is why, in short, I am looking into divorce! Please help me collect my thoughts, give me an idea if what I am thinking is even realistic. I am willing to work with her, but I really do not want to be a weekend or every other weekend dad. I will not accept that!!!

Thanks for your time! - Mr Confused

[randalljd]

It sounds as if you do need to get out. But likely visitation will be shared by you in some close to equal combination. You cannot cut her out--nor can she cut you out.