The other woman... I feel she is harassing me and my family

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Old Jan 22nd, 2013, 09:38 AM   #1
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Default The other woman... I feel she is harassing me and my family

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My husband had an affair I found out and he ended it. She was not happy She called me and text me and emailed me for weeks she also emails and calls my husband. When he did not reply to her she found one of his friends and got him to email and call us. She has decided that I am harassing her. Because I have found her soon to be X husband and he has asked for the emails that she has sent. She still emails my husband and she still gets his friend to pass on messages. Am I harassing this woman if I pass on the emails. I feel she is harassing me and my family as she calls at 4am and will not go away. Any advice would be great.
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Old Jan 22nd, 2013, 09:54 AM   #2
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Default re: The other woman... I feel she is harassing me and my family

I wish to inform you that harassment is the act which is of repetitive nature against a particular person. At present you are not passing emails to lady that has sent you the emails and thus there is no harassment. You are sending emails to her soon to be ex husband and that also on his request thus harassment cannot be alleged. As a precaution you may take request for email in writing so that other party cannot allege anything. Further you can have a court order regarding no contact order against lady if you feel that she is causing harassment to you.

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Old Jan 22nd, 2013, 10:12 AM   #3
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We moved across Canada and she still phones, emails and calls. She says he is her sole mate and can't be without him. what can I do.
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Old Jan 22nd, 2013, 10:23 AM   #4
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Default re: The other woman... I feel she is harassing me and my family

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Nova Scotia
My husband had an affair I found out and he ended it. She was not happy She called me and text me and emailed me for weeks she also emails and calls my husband. When he did not reply to her she found one of his friends and got him to email and call us. She has decided that I am harassing her. Because I have found her soon to be X husband and he has asked for the emails that she has sent. She still emails my husband and she still gets his friend to pass on messages. Am I harassing this woman if I pass on the emails. I feel she is harassing me and my family as she calls at 4am and will not go away. Any advice would be great.
With phone calls at 4 a.m. she is the one harassing you. You and your husband are entitled to apply for a restraining order, a no contact order against her contacting either one of you. These orders usually include language including contact through a third party, too.

Once the order is obtained, should she violate it, she would be subject to arrest.
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Old Jan 22nd, 2013, 10:47 AM   #5
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Default re: The other woman... I feel she is harassing me and my family

how do I get restraining order ?
what do I need?
I do have all the emails she has sent me but my husband has cleaned the phone of her text and calls.
and he has deleted all his emails from her.
He just wants her gone.
Also I want to pass on her emails as it will help her husband in court, It shows she left her children to spend time with my husband.
I see it as these are my emails and I can pass them on.
it that wrong?
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Old Jan 22nd, 2013, 04:03 PM   #6
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Default Re: The other woman... I feel she is harassing me and my family

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Originally Posted by Dea View Post
Nova Scotia
My husband had an affair I found out and he ended it. She was not happy She called me and text me and emailed me for weeks she also emails and calls my husband. When he did not reply to her she found one of his friends and got him to email and call us. She has decided that I am harassing her. Because I have found her soon to be X husband and he has asked for the emails that she has sent. She still emails my husband and she still gets his friend to pass on messages. Am I harassing this woman if I pass on the emails. I feel she is harassing me and my family as she calls at 4am and will not go away. Any advice would be great.
Seriously? This is your husband's issue, and you are most definitely complicating matters. If the woman is still communicating with him, then he is allowing it - because he isn't doing anything to stop it. He can change email addresses and phone numbers. If he doesn't like that she continues to try to contact him, he can obtain a peace order against her. However, if he isn't doing ANYTHING, then it's entirely possible (and likely) that the affair is still going on and that he is encouraging her.

What possible good does it do to pass on those emails to the woman's STBX? Other than sticking your nose where it doesn't belong and trying to one-up her, it does nothing to solve the problem - which lies with your husband. Her marriage is already ending - and those emails won't change that fact.

I would suggest that you sit down and have a very long talk with your husband - and quite possibly with a marriage counselor. The problems here are bigger than the both of you, and unless everyone stops their childish behavior, someone is going to end up going to jail or get sued.
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Old Jan 23rd, 2013, 12:49 AM   #7
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Default Re: The other woman... I feel she is harassing me and my family

Make a legal complaint to a higher authority if harassment continues. Contact an attorney about whether you have grounds for a civil rights complaint.
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Old Jan 23rd, 2013, 10:20 AM   #8
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Default Re: The other woman... I feel she is harassing me and my family

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Originally Posted by Dea View Post
how do I get restraining order ?
what do I need?
I do have all the emails she has sent me but my husband has cleaned the phone of her text and calls.
and he has deleted all his emails from her.
He just wants her gone.
Also I want to pass on her emails as it will help her husband in court, It shows she left her children to spend time with my husband.
I see it as these are my emails and I can pass them on.
it that wrong?

Most courts have packages for restraining orders and at least in domestic cases will waive the filing fee. He, being the one most affected, should be the one to apply.

You can offer whatever evidence you have if it affects both of you, then you can both apply for the restraining order, jointly.

Check with your provincial court and if they do not have the forms available for you to complete, then post us back and we will see what we can do to get them for you.

Applying for a restraining order is a relatively simple matter, but an attorney can represent you and get the job done.
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Old Jan 23rd, 2013, 10:55 AM   #9
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Default Re: The other woman... I feel she is harassing me and my family

My husband did change is email and got rid of his cell phone, He even told her to stop. But she found one of his friends and got his new infor from him. he has had 3 different emails this year. he has not replyed to any of her emails. This has upset her so she is emailing more and more to his friend who them sent them all to us. Her STBX has asked he for all the info I have on the affair. As she told him that she was marrying my husband and she wants a divorce from him. This was a year before the affair started to his understanding. Im not playing games I have a family to think about. I have talked with my husband about getting an order to stop her. I just would like her to leave me alone. as her emails are all about me and how she hates me.
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Old Jan 23rd, 2013, 02:14 PM   #10
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Default Re: The other woman... I feel she is harassing me and my family

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Originally Posted by Dea View Post
My husband did change is email and got rid of his cell phone, He even told her to stop. But she found one of his friends and got his new infor from him. he has had 3 different emails this year. he has not replyed to any of her emails. This has upset her so she is emailing more and more to his friend who them sent them all to us. Her STBX has asked he for all the info I have on the affair. As she told him that she was marrying my husband and she wants a divorce from him. This was a year before the affair started to his understanding. Im not playing games I have a family to think about. I have talked with my husband about getting an order to stop her. I just would like her to leave me alone. as her emails are all about me and how she hates me.
Then the problem is STILL with your husband. If his mutual friends are giving up the information to this woman, then he is STILL allowing it to happen. He should be letting his friends know NOT to share his contact information with her, or ending those friendships. Obviously, if she still has access to him through the friends, then changing a phone number or email address isn't going to make much difference - since she will always be able to get the new one from one of those mutual "friends".

And yes, you ARE playing games by insisting on forwarding this ill-gotten information to this woman's STBX. Honestly, that is nothing but playing tit for tat. The emails that badmouth YOU do nothing to help him in his divorce from the woman, as most jurisdictions allow for no-fault divorces. Admit it - to yourself. You are sharing those emails with him because you think that you are getting her back somehow for hurting you. STOP the drama, end the contact with him, and stop feeding the green monster. So what if she hates you?

You need to tell your husband to put up or shut up. Does he intend to continue a relationship with this woman, or commit to your marriage? Because, by the looks of it, he is NOT supporting you at all by allowing ANY kind of contact from her anymore. An affair takes two participants, and it sounds like there were problems in your marriage to begin with. They aren't going to go away by battling with this woman. If you and your husband are committed to saving your marriage, please consider seeking the assistance of a marriage counselor.
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