I am Italian and my husband is from California

[Aleanna]

I NEED TO KNOW MY RIGHTS

I am Italian and met my husband Steven from California when he were working ln a US Army in Kosovo, we are married in Italy 1 of march of this year, he were need continue his work till this summer, he were asking me to come with him in USA in the future but never started to get a greed card for me, never really invited me in his coutry and home ever for one visit,, telling that we ll do that later when he will get returned in the beginning of this summer, we were going to tranfer there together, he showed wonderful pictures of our house and promised to me and my daughter wonderful future, i was suffering very much to stay apart but he always asked me to wait, i travelled with him for work in Germany any time he went there, he came to my city many times and stayed at my home with me and my daughter, she lost a father when she was 4 years old,she took him like our family, and he asked me to wait just a little bit more hi will finished with army duties. When the time is come him to come back to USA i new that he asked for a separation in Italian court just after we had been married, i was in shock, 3 mouth i was thinking that we are together and he continued to lie to me, the problem that documents came anly after 3 mouth cased an italian bureaucracy, these 3 mounth he said me that we are going to be together, its incredible...that he loves me,i went to surgery of his to support him.... during he new that the separation was asked by him already i was staying with him and waiting a happy promised life together,me and my daughter,, then he came back in USA , California, now. He never invited me to go with him to his country and his place in reality, before when he had been in an Army he could stay one day without speaking to me, we spoke in a skype hours every day,now never even one call.. and i suspect if he where really planning to live with me in USA, i suspect that he probably can have another wife there.What is my rights and how i can to chek out if he really fooled me. I am in Italy and dont know how to reach any information. I feel me to be used badly. I would prefer to get divorsed my american low but now Italian.

[AFFA]

I wish to inform you hat you can check from the department of vital statistics of the state where your husband resides as to other marriage or family information. Further you can demand spousal support from your husband. You can have a court order for spousal support and then have the money for spousal support. Further you have a right towards assets of your husband in case of divorce. You can self petition yourself on VAWA on the ground that you are a battered spouse of a US Citizen working for government abroad.

AFF

[Friend In Court]

Originally Posted by Aleanna I NEED TO KNOW MY RIGHTS I am Italian and met my husband Steven from California when he were working ln a US Army in Kosovo, we are married in Italy 1 of march of this year, he were need continue his work till this summer, he were asking me to come with him in USA in the future but never started to get a greed card for me, never really invited me in his coutry and home ever for one visit,, telling that we ll do that later when he will get returned in the beginning of this summer, we were going to tranfer there together, he showed wonderful pictures of our house and promised to me and my daughter wonderful future, i was suffering very much to stay apart but he always asked me to wait, i travelled with him for work in Germany any time he went there, he came to my city many times and stayed at my home with me and my daughter, she lost a father when she was 4 years old,she took him like our family, and he asked me to wait just a little bit more hi will finished with army duties. When the time is come him to come back to USA i new that he asked for a separation in Italian court just after we had been married, i was in shock, 3 mouth i was thinking that we are together and he continued to lie to me, the problem that documents came anly after 3 mouth cased an italian bureaucracy, these 3 mounth he said me that we are going to be together, its incredible...that he loves me,i went to surgery of his to support him.... during he new that the separation was asked by him already i was staying with him and waiting a happy promised life together,me and my daughter,, then he came back in USA , California, now. He never invited me to go with him to his country and his place in reality, before when he had been in an Army he could stay one day without speaking to me, we spoke in a skype hours every day,now never even one call.. and i suspect if he where really planning to live with me in USA, i suspect that he probably can have another wife there.What is my rights and how i can to chek out if he really fooled me. I am in Italy and dont know how to reach any information. I feel me to be used badly. I would prefer to get divorsed my american low but now Italian.

There are investigative services you can access online which, for a usually small fee, like $9.95 USD will do a check of vital statistics records for you and get results back almost immediately. For a slightly larger fee, more extensive work can be done.

What these show is the name of the person, age and people connected with them, like wife, if he has one.

The US Army regulations require their personnel to live up to their obligations to their family. I will supplement this post with the information the provide for spouses as to support, etc.

[Friend In Court]

Here is the Army regulation that relates to your situation. You will need to run down his unit, contact his commanding officer, and report your circumstances. To marry and then abandon is not conduct becoming a member of the US military.

His commander is who you will want to contact for the paternity testing once the child is born. Here is some information from a law blog you may find quite helpful.

"

Army Regulation (AR) 608-99 prescribes Army policy on financial support of family members, child custody, visitation, paternity, and related matters.

Q: WHAT ARE A SOLDIER'S OBLIGATIONS UNDER THE REGULATION? A soldier's obligation includes:
(1) maintaining reasonable contact with family members so that their financial needs and welfare do not become official matters of concern for the US Army.
(2) conducting themselves in an honorable manner with regard to parental commitments and responsibilities.
3) providing adequate financial support to family members.
(4) complying with all court orders.

Q: WHO IS RESPONSIBLE FOR ENSURING THAT SOLDIERS ARE INFORMED OF THE ARMY POLICY ON SUPPORT OF FAMILY MEMBERS AND ENFORCING IT?

Commanders and their staff are responsible for ensuring that soldiers know about and comply with the policy when consistent with other military requirements and ensuring that any action or non-action on their part does not encourage or facilitate violations of court orders or AR 608-99 or avoidance of a judicial resolution of issues relating to paternity, child custody, or support by soldiers and family members.

Q: IF A SOLDIER FAILS TO MEET THE REQUIREMENTS ABOVE, WHAT CAN THE COMMANDER DO? The commander can consider: \
(1) Taking adverse administrative actions (i.e. letter of admonishment, letter of reprimand).
(2) Issuing the soldier an Article 15 (non-judicial punishment).]
3) Issuing a bar to re-enlistment.
(4) Preferring formal charges under the Uniform Code of Military Justice (UCMJ).

Q: IF THE SOLDIER FAILS TO MEET THE REQUIREMENTS, CAN THE ARMY DEDUCT MONEY FROM THE SOLDIER'S PAY? The Army has no legal authority to deduct money from a soldier's pay without the soldier’s consent unless a civilian court has ordered garnishment or involuntary allotment. If there is an order for garnishment or involuntary allotment, the Defense Finance and Accounting Service (DFAS) can deduct money directly from the soldier’s pay. Depending on the specific circumstances, a maximum of 50 to 65 percent of the soldier’s pay may be withheld to satisfy the child support obligation. DFAS will only garnish military pay (not allowances); however, the civilian court, in calculating child support, may consider all pay and allowances. "

In essence, the Army requires its personnel to uphold high standards not just in the field and performance of their job, but in their personal affairs so as not to bring the military into disrepute. This married man who conducted an adulterous affair, then impregnated you and is leaving you without any concern for the child he sired fits into that category for which he can be disciplied, it appears, under the Army Regulation. So contact his commander.

[Aleanna]

I am very grataful for the answer.The daughetr is only mine,he promised her to be addobted by him but now i dont know nothing about himself.He is almost 56 yers old and in the begginning of our communication when he asked me to marry me he said that in june 2012 he would be retired for military and his another work like a pilot in California.So i think he is not in an army anynore.

[Aleanna]

I have a difficulty to do all this by myself cause i am not in knowleghe about these officces and how to contact them,can you advice me an attorney wich could to help me to do this.

[Friend In Court]

If you know where in California he was heading for, you can find a family law attorney from this site. Check the home page and you will see where attorneys are listed state by state.

[Aleanna]

Thank you very much for the advice.I ll try.