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have to give up custody of adopted child, relinquish our parental rights

This is a discussion on have to give up custody of adopted child, relinquish our parental rights within the Divorce, Separation, Annulment forum, part of the FAMILY LAW, DIVORCE, CUSTODY category; Our family has adopted 3 children and two have succesfully left the home and entered the real world. The third ...

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Old Sep 6th, 2007, 10:58 PM   #1
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Confused have to give up custody of adopted child, relinquish our parental rights

Our family has adopted 3 children and two have succesfully left the home and entered the real world. The third child is 14 and has been put in mental institutions twice for a total amount of time of 14 months. She is violent and self destructive. We would like to relinquish our parental rights as adoptive parents back to the state. We feel that the system will help her more if she is in their control. How do we go about relinquishing our rights if we are the adoptive parents?
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Old Sep 7th, 2007, 05:03 PM   #2
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Our family has adopted 3 children and two have succesfully left the home and entered the real world. The third child is 14 and has been put in mental institutions twice for a total amount of time of 14 months. She is violent and self destructive. We would like to relinquish our parental rights as adoptive parents back to the state. We feel that the system will help her more if she is in their control. How do we go about relinquishing our rights if we are the adoptive parents?
You can't. When you adopted, you became true parents in every legal and moral sense of the word.
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Old Jul 16th, 2008, 09:29 AM   #3
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Default re: have to give up custody of adopted child, relinquish our parental rights

yes you can...we are in the process of doing that right now. We have the same thing going on with our adopted daughter. Email me @ Godloves316@cableone.net
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Old Jul 16th, 2008, 12:45 PM   #4
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Default re: have to give up custody of adopted child, relinquish our parental rights

I can't get around the irony of someone with the email address "Godloves316" offering advice on how to abandon a child they promised to care for...
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Old Jul 16th, 2008, 05:38 PM   #5
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Confused re: have to give up custody of adopted child, relinquish our parental rights

wow how do you do that? give up on a child you KNEW was going to have problems? i understand endless stress. i have TONS. How "bad" is this child? & I use the word "bad" lightly...considering she is still a child and you still are abadoning her. Maybe that's why she's acting out; maybe she's tired of dealing with ppl who don't truly love her and keep breaking promises.

What did they tell you about her condition? Is she suicidal or homicidal? Or just "violent"?? As a child I liked to fight too; but that didn't mean I was "dangerous" to ppl around me. That just means that I didn't put up w/ crap from random ppl. I refused to be bullied. Have you had her in therapy? Have you tried to help her w/ new friends? Have you tried new treatments? Different medications? Has any of this crossed your mind? Or are you just refusing to do what you promised to do.

Tbyte...haha...nice.
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Old Aug 20th, 2008, 04:51 PM   #6
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People who don't have to deal with the heartache of a mentally ill child has NO IDEA what it is like to raise this child. It isn't that the parents don't want the child but more that the system that is set up does not provide for mental illness care. Do you know that it costs approx $500.00/day to keep your child in a residential facility??? The child is there because he/she is unsafe at home. The child will hurt/kill self or others. This is NO JOKE!!! For everyone on here who said bad things about these poor parents decision, if you think that you can do a better job then feel free to offer up your home and your "terrific" parentening skills. Put your money where your mouth in!
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Old Aug 20th, 2008, 06:06 PM   #7
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Default re: have to give up custody of adopted child, relinquish our parental rights

Had I made a promise to a child, I would keep the promise.
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Old Sep 17th, 2008, 12:04 AM   #8
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I wouldn't be so quick to judge, folks. I am researching for a friend of mine as I write this, which took me to this web site. He is going through a similar situation but contrary to what you might think, in his case, this child was given a complete bill of health by a couple psychologists after my the adoptive parents expressed concenr about this childs conduct. Sure enough, it turns out that this child has a serious Conduct disorder and is certain to become Antisocial personality disorder. I didn't know him then, but now, I'm trying to help him so that the state can take control, and yes... the state, through mental facilities can take better care of him.
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Old Sep 17th, 2008, 12:22 AM   #9
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Plenty of parents have biological children who, for one reason or another, end up needing to be cared for in a State institution. That does not mean they abandon their child.
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Old Oct 2nd, 2008, 06:47 AM   #10
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I am in the process of letting a bio parent adopt back her child that I adopted 6 1/2 years ago. She has killed animals, urinated on everything possible, hit me, been hospitalized for mental health issues (many times), been through 2 behaviorial schools and has done thousands of dolllars of damage to my home. I even had to get rid of a brand new car because she was angry and urinated in it. I cleaned it but everyone knows that urine is not the easiest smell to get rid of. She even took off mattress protector and peed on her mattress then put it back on. She has been on many meds and they all resulted in the same way. After a few weeks to a month of being calm she would lash out again only worse than the last time. I asked for Residential for her but was denied over and over again by the health insurance people and was offered family care. Unless you have one of these kids you really shouldn't judge us who thought we could save the world one kid at a time. I still have another adopted child who has mimicked what she has seen and now knows the way to upset everyone. Stealing, oh that is the greatest. You want it you just take it. We as parents try so hard to stop these behaviors and turn out productive young people. Some kids are beyond the help of the average person. If you want to judge others than take a walk in their shoes for a few months or years. I have 2 bio children who have turned out great in spite of everything that have been through. You can't make a child change that doesn't want to be changed. Read about Reactive attachment disorder. It is real. No matter how hard you try as a parent these kids don't want to relinquish their power and let anyone help them. Maybe all the people that judge us adoptive parents would like to donate their money to help us get our kids in a residential setting. Maybe you should donate your time to help out us parents and babysit for us. Shame on you for judging others.
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