marital disolution help

NEWYORK>I left my spouse after 3 years of marriage.he is in TN,and i am in Ny,for 6 months now.He had a online marital disoltion form mailed to me.we agreeded that he would payoff my car till dec 09,and continue the ins,and then send me the title.He signed a paper stating this and had it notarized.he also payed off 3 banks,of service charges,so I could open a bank account.he was famous for,opening bank accounts online,and when he would bounce a check,he would just go open another account.All the time using my ss#.when he filed the disolution papers with the courts in tn,the judge rejected them,he wont say why.So,he went to a lawyer,and had "new Papers" drawn up.these papers state that i am to re-finacnce the vehicle,and get it out of his name,that i am responsible for the lump sum of marital debt,that i will not go after his pension.I have told him i will NOT sign these papers,that it is not what we had agreeded on.I am under the impression that the notarized promissary note on the car is legal and binding,and should be included in any divorce action.He handled all the finaces,and,very poorly.My question,I can not afford an attorney.Can he get a disoultion without my signature?How can I keep contesting his actions?Is the notarized letter legal.Im in Ny he is in Tn,can a ny lawyer help me?