Spousal Support Variance

I really need some information!!! I am divorced now for 4 years after a 25 year marriage. When our divorce was final, I was awarded spousal support which my ex has been fighting approximately every 6 months for 4 years. Each time he decides to fight the spousal support order, it means I have to go back to my lawyer which costs me anywhere from $2000 to $4000. Last fall we had an order, once again in my favor that he was to continue to pay his spousal support. He has not paid anything since Jan 08 and maintenance enforcement has several collection judgements against him. I have now received another call from his lawyer (once again a different lawyer) and have been told he is once again seeking a variance in court next week. With each time he has dragged this through the court system, he has managed to destroy all of my savings and anything I received in my settlement. I can't afford to go back to my lawyer but I am $3000 over the limitations for annual salary to qualify for legal aide. I am so done with this, I don't want his money, I don't want anything to do with him. He is over $4000 in arrears with maintenance enforcement and I don't care anymore. When I receive the papers in the mail from his lawyer which are being sent to me via registered mail, do I have to respond or can he just go to court and let the chips fall where they may???? I don't care anymore. He's ruined my life, I'm financially ruined and I just want him to go away. I live 200 miles from where he is taking this to court and I can't even afford to travel for the court date. What do I do?????? A notice of motion is being mailed to me and I should have it in a couple of days. Our court date is next week and I just learned about this today.

Someone please help and give me some advice...........

Ok, I'm going to make this as simple as possible, I am desperate for some information. A Notice of Motion has been filed for a variance of spousal support. I don't want his money anymore. What happens if I don't respond to the Notice of Motion and just let them go to court without me. I have had enough of him and his crap.

[tbyte]

Read over the motions filed by the attorney. Maybe you don't need an attorney to represent you. Or you can ask your attorney about the possibility of suing the father for attorney's fees. The mere threat of this may be enough to get him to temper his litigiousness.

[tbyte]

By the way, did you move away after the divorce? Is that why the court is so far away from you? Otherwise, the court that granted the divorce should have jurisdiction.

Yes, I moved away after the divorce to be closer to my parents. All I am wanting to know is how I can advise the courts that I don't want any more support from him. I want him to take his money and go away. I have a new life and am looking after myself and am tired of having this hanging over my head, waiting for the next bomb to drop. Yes, we were married 24 years and yes, I was a stay at home Mom and raised our kids while he travelled for work and when I left I had basically no earning potential. I have since got some schooling, I have found a good job (I am actually working 3 jobs) and I would rather live in a tent with no luxuries than to fight with him one more day. Our children are grown now and on their own so I only have to look after me.

Can someone tell me how I can just let the court know I don't want his money, I want all court orders to stop and I refuse to pay one more cent in legal costs and fees. It has taken everything I got in our settlement so far. My divorce has cost me thousands of dollars because he drags me back into court every six months. I just want to know what my options are so I don't have to travel to sit in court. Can it be done via fax or email or phone call or anything of that nature? Or what if I just ignore the Notice of Motion. It says that if I don't come to court, a judgement will be made without me. What could the judgment be, worse case scenario he gets his variance and doesn't have to pay me anymore. That's what I want!

[tbyte]

Seems to me you could make that proposal to his attorney. If you no longer want the alimony, I don't see where they would want to fight you on anything.

Honestly, i dont want to be harsh but i would say you should never get the spousal support to begin with. My wife cheated on me with a friend of min, dragged me through court for 2 years and gets spousal support. I say the sooner people become responsible for themselves and quit relying on the world to help them the better off the world will be. Women faught for equal rights for years, you should take the good with the bad then.

I agree and BTW I had the same situation though not with a friend but a co-worker.

[forumlaw]

Why not take the spousal support? What about when the husband ups and leaves a wife behind with a child who cannot get back to work as her child is still young. Of course these jerks should pay, marriage is a contract and promise to God for better for worse through sickness and health, NOT when you get bored you pack it in. In fact they should pay until the other re marries if she chooses, they are the ones who cause the mess now clean it up. If I were a judge out their I'd make them pay for hardship as well.. to the innocent wife and child who's world has been shattered. And NO tax breaks for them either.