alcoholic wife gets family home

my ex wife had an affair with someone in her AA group. we had 4 children together, she changed locks on property, and got me out to get him in. I have to pay rent on a apartment for weekend access for my children but also pay for half the mortgage on the family home as well as maintenance. I would have no problem here but the increased costs mean I cant keep up paying my half of the mortgage.She gets her half paid by the welfare. She doesnt work, nad since I recently couldnt pay my half the welfare is paying that a swell.
She wants me to sign the deeds over to her, I am reluctant to do this as I said she is a Bi-Polar, recovering Alcoholic, and I worry about the welfare of my children. I have worked all my life and while she was going in & out of treatment centres it was me who kept it all going.

My attorney says I have to give her the property if I cannot afford to pay for it. No fault divorce or not I find it hard how you can just give someone a property who commits adultery. I would rather stay on the title deeds under the children reach majority, and divide the property 50:50.

It seems I have sufferd financially as much as any other way as I cant afford to get another mortgage, and she is on free legal aid, so doesnt care how long the courts take to resolve matters, while my legal costs are massive so far....even before my divorce.

[tbyte]

Is your divorce final?
Wasn't responsibility for the mortgage covered in your divorce agreement?

thanks for the reply Tbyte, no I still havent even got a Jud. Sep. you have to wait 4 years here to get a divorce.. I have waited 3.5yrs so far...
so at the moment everythings up in the air, but I cant afford a mortgage and rent which is more than the original mort.

[tbyte]

Originally Posted by Unregistered you have to wait 4 years here to get a divorce.. I have waited 3.5yrs so far...

Oh.
My.
God.

Where are you?

Surely with such waiting requirements there are arrangements for payment of mortages and other debts?

Follow them for the next six months, and then when the property is split during the divorce just give her the house as part of her share, with the stipulation that she get your name off of the mortgage or sell the property promptly.

tks again tbyte, good advice, I am in ireland ...so divorce is only a recent thing...you have to be apart for 4yrs ... so I have to go Jud Sep. route first... I have no problem giving her the house in a settlement, but would like a caveat that she doesnt sell the property immeadiately and profit form equity... as Im concerned for the welfare of my children, can such caveats be part of a agreement.
i.e the property not be sold until the children reach the age of majority.
if she resumed drinking ...with the house under her name could I look to move back in and go for full custody...as I say I have 4 children and the 2 bed apartment I am renting would not be suitable long term.

thks again.

[tbyte]

I doubt that you can put a stipulation in the divorce that she keep a property on which she is required to pay a mortgage. Once the divorce is final and the property is hers, she can do with it as she wishes. Just as you can with the property you receive.
Sorry, but focus your efforts on things you can control.