As a mother, can I force my husband to leave the house we own together

This is a discussion on As a mother, can I force my husband to leave the house we own together within the Divorce, Separation, Annulment forum, part of the FAMILY LAW, DIVORCE, CUSTODY category; My husband and I are divorcing. He has not pulled his weight financially and emotionally for a long time. In ...

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Old May 3rd, 2008, 12:18 AM   #1
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Confused As a mother, can I force my husband to leave the house we own together

My husband and I are divorcing. He has not pulled his weight financially and emotionally for a long time. In the past year he has been out of work 7 mths. In December he quit his job (without discussing it with me) and has not found a job. Since he has no unemployment coming in, I have been supporting the household, paying his truck payment and primarily caring for our 8 mth old daughter. In addition to him not working, there are a lot of other issues... We live in California. My questions: Can I force him to move out? Do we have to be legally separated first or divorced? Can I keep the house, even if I eventually pay him his portion of the equity? I am not concerned about things like child support or custody right now. He is actually a pretty good father, just a sorry husband.

Also, if anyone knows the actual laws or where I should start looking, I would appreciate it.

Thank you for any advice you can give.

Last edited by Sarah; May 3rd, 2008 at 12:20 AM. Reason: spelling
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Old May 3rd, 2008, 07:16 PM   #2
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Default Re: As a mother, can I force my husband to leave the house we own together

You normally cannot force him to leave.

You have to file for divorce and then ask the court to order that-- so you two may finish the divorce and divide up your assets and debts.
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Old May 3rd, 2008, 11:44 PM   #3
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Default Re: As a mother, can I force my husband to leave the house we own together

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My husband and I are divorcing. He has not pulled his weight financially and emotionally for a long time. In the past year he has been out of work 7 mths. In December he quit his job (without discussing it with me) and has not found a job. Since he has no unemployment coming in, I have been supporting the household, paying his truck payment and primarily caring for our 8 mth old daughter. In addition to him not working, there are a lot of other issues... We live in California. My questions: Can I force him to move out?
Hmmm....interesting. So, do you think that if a man is the principle earner in a home where a mother is not working, and the two get divorced, he should be able to kick her out of the house?
Sometimes, the double-standards on these forums just smack you in the face...
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Old May 5th, 2008, 10:18 PM   #4
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Default Re: As a mother, can I force my husband to leave the house we own together

I totally agree, if he was a "house-husband", but he isn't. He does not do the majority of the housekeeping, the errands or is he the main care provider for our daughter. This was a planned pregnancy and we had no prior agreement that we would be able to have one stay-at-home parent, nor can we afford it. We now have not had medical insurance for 4 mths other than for our daughter because I can not make enough money to pay the house payment, all of the utilities, fill the refrigerator and keep our debts paid so our credit does not go into the toilet during this time and pay the $780 insurance premium. I supose I should have gotten into more detail about our marital problems, such as him being a rager, and lying about everything from his past to idiotic daily stuff or whatever would justify my reasons for wanting him to leave, but I kept it to the basics. Next time you decide to slam someone, you may want to get your facts first.

If anyone else happens to know the laws in California, I would really appreciate additional advice.
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Old May 5th, 2008, 10:20 PM   #5
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Default Re: As a mother, can I force my husband to leave the house we own together

Thank you for your advice. Is that what is called a "legal separation"?
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Old May 5th, 2008, 11:27 PM   #6
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Default Re: As a mother, can I force my husband to leave the house we own together

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I supose I should have gotten into more detail about our marital problems, such as him being a rager, and lying about everything from his past to idiotic daily stuff or whatever would justify my reasons for wanting him to leave, but I kept it to the basics. Next time you decide to slam someone, you may want to get your facts first.
Sigh. Thanks, but I've heard those facts before (please, just pick any random post on the forum), and they are totally irrelevant. If everything was peachy between you, I doubt that you would be divorcing. I'm sure he has nothing but positive things to say about you.
Maybe I would care more if the courts cared more, but fact is, they don't. Marital property is split 50/50, and the courts are not interested in how it was acquired, or at least they shouldn't be.
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Old Feb 1st, 2009, 07:11 AM   #7
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Default Re: As a mother, can I force my husband to leave the house we own together

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Sigh. Thanks, but I've heard those facts before (please, just pick any random post on the forum), and they are totally irrelevant. If everything was peachy between you, I doubt that you would be divorcing. I'm sure he has nothing but positive things to say about you.
Maybe I would care more if the courts cared more, but fact is, they don't. Marital property is split 50/50, and the courts are not interested in how it was acquired, or at least they shouldn't be.
Why are you on this forum? What is YOUR relevance here? Did you get "burned" or something? Don't know what you're going through, but you really need to find another place to resolve your issues. This is a forum where people are ENCOURAGED to share and ask for advise. If you have no advise, and you are discouraging people from opening up and sharing, then you do not belong here.
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Old Feb 1st, 2009, 07:22 AM   #8
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Default Re: As a mother, can I force my husband to leave the house we own together

One more thing. Marital property is NOT split 50/50 when children are involved. The courts will put the best interest of the child first, as they should. It is often in the best interest of the child to keep all changes to a MINIMUM during this stressful time. Therefore, if the mother is the primary care taker, she will be granted custody. If the mother has custody, she will probably be given the house along with all of the equity if there is any. He will be ordered to pay child support, and possibly spousal support if she can prove that their usual standard of living was better when the "marital troubles" began. If she can get him out of the house, she can request spousal and child support without even filing for divorce OR legal separation. If he cannot or does not pay, she will collect all of his income tax returns until he is caught up. If he does get a job, the money will be automatically removed by his employer before he even gets a check. There is no excuse for a man or woman to "quit" their job and sit on their ass for 7 months when there is a baby in the house who 1. needs to eat and needs proper medical care, and 2. needs her mother to be around
This is grossly irresponsible, and he needs to realize that as soon as he brought the child into this world, it was no longer about "him" or his wife or their relationship. At the very minimum, he needs to be responsible for his child's needs, and you just can't meet them without money.
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Old Feb 1st, 2009, 07:26 AM   #9
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Default Re: As a mother, can I force my husband to leave the house we own together

You can also request that he help pay for child care (this is in addition to child support - kind of like medical expenses are in addition to child support). He may be responsible for medical expenses as well (premiums or copays?) The problem is getting him out of the house. You may have to file for divorce in order to get him out. If, once you file, he becomes violent or scares you, or things just get unbearable, then the courts may require him to leave. Is the house in both your names? Is the loan in both your names?
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Old Feb 1st, 2009, 06:23 PM   #10
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Default Re: As a mother, can I force my husband to leave the house we own together

First, if you are going to go around digging up nine month old posts, then you can dig around for the ones where I talk about my family court experience as well. I shan't repeat it here.
Second, marital assets are divided 50/50, unless there is some sort of prenup. FYI, "custody" is not a marital asset. If the mother receives the house, then the father receives cash, savings, retirement funds, vehicles, or other property to compensate.
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