Debt, Debt and Divorce

[KCMom]

Hi,

I'm at the end of my rope. I have a husband who has become nonfunctioning in terms of dealing with the issues of debt in this family. He spends more time placing blame on who's responsible than trying to work out ways for us to clean this mess up. We have a house that is falling apart and he won't do anything to help fix it. In this economy, and the area we live in, keeping the house up is the best thing we can do until things turn around, but he's not buying it, or in denial, or depressed, etc..

We are behind three years on our income tax. First, he insisted on doing it, but kept putting it off. Then I asked my accountant (I own a nonprofit), to take care of it for me, which she agreed. Why my husband chose to give her everything but the 2005 tax, I'll never know. In any case, it was taken care of and submitted, but we had no money to pay the taxes (at least until I got paid again, which will be in about four weeks). Still, the 2005 sits here and he hasn't even touched the 2008 - not even to fill out an extension. Yes, I know, I should do it, but I'm learning how to now, and in learning I mean to leave and take care of myself.

I can't believe he's doing this to himself and to us. When I try to talk with him, he says, "what can we do? We can't pay it." I keep telling him that maintaining contact is the safest thing to do, or else they'll think we're dismissing them and the seriousness of this. Does no good. Makes no difference.

I'm coming into money (my salary from the organization I run). Enough to pay off the back taxes (about 12-15,000 maybe), of which will put everything in the "black" again, leaving mortgage and utilities to cover. We have no other debts (cars, purchases, etc.), but a few credit card issues totaling about 5000, which I can also cover. Anything to get us back to sanity.

So here are my questions:

1. If I file for legal separation, what will happen if he let's the house payments slip (yes, he's doing that, too), and doesn't complete the 2008 filing? Am I in trouble too?
2. With that being a concern, should I consider filing separately, and if I do, will that take me out of anything he does or doesn't do?
3. If I don't file for legal separation and go for a straight divorce, will I be able to continue getting support in the form of medical insurance, for instance? I don't want his money (because he has none), but would like to keep on top of the insurance. And no, we have no children together, and mine are grown and gone.

I just want out of this. At 53, I can't imagine surviving another 10 years of this.

thanks for listening,

KCMom

You can request the court to put some rules in place o govern the situation but frankly given what you are saying here it may make sense to file for divorce and stop your liability, divide debts and assets, etc. And you may ask the court to force the sale of any assets that have payments etc. so that you will no longer have potential liability for the debts,

Get a lawyer ASAP