Suing friend for stealing husband

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Old Nov 8th, 2013, 04:14 PM   #1
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Angry Suing friend for stealing husband

I live in a state that does not have alienation of affection laws but I wish there was some way that I can sue my former friend from breaking up my family.

She was one of my closest friends and her family and my family hung out weekly.
We both have husband and 2 kids close in age. Individually her and I would go shopping or go get coffee several times a week. This is how close we were.

Out of the blue a couple months ago, my husband tells me he wants a divorce and recently realized that he wasn't happy. It was a total shock to me and from the conversation, it sounded like he already had a women which he denied.

Our marriage had some issues but nobody's marriage is perfect and with 2 kids and a full time job, there were not much time for us to have husband and wife time. I guess that had been frustrating to my husband.

Without going into details, I discovered that my husband was having an affair with my close friend. They were chatting online about how they wanted to be together, how they hugged and kissed in the car of a Walmart parking lot where they happened to 'run into each other.' She was trashing me as a mother. My husband was falling for and having foreplay on chat and talking about the day they can finally have sex with each other after my husband told me he wanted to separate.

Since I discovered all this, I told my friends husband because I thought he had a right to know as well. He confronted his wife and she admitted on making a mistake and how she would never see my husband again.

My husband has come to the conclusion that he doesn't want to be with me anymore. He said that this 'friend of mine' made him realize how he wasn't happy. In the chat script, you can tell how she guides him into thinking that I am a bad wife and she is better for him and how they should me together. (Which is a bunch a crap cause she never intended on leaving her husband.)

My husband and I are now in the process of divorce and this has hurt me badly. The other woman is back with her husband. Though mutual friends and social media, she has gone on as if nothing happened smiling in pictures and living her life..

At first I blamed myself, now I am just angry at this 'friend' of mine. She still gets to keep her family, and hangs out around town as if nothing happened. I wish her actions could be sued in some kinda a way. It doesn't even have to be money, it can be her having to do community service and cleaning bathrooms and picking up trash.

Is there ANYTHING I can legally do to get some peace of mind for the backstabber that ruined my family life while keeping hers?
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Old Nov 8th, 2013, 04:41 PM   #2
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Default Re: Suing friend for stealing husband

Consulting with an attorney is the only way to find if you have a valid Cause of Action, most states have eliminated most Heart-Balm statutes due to civil abuse.
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Old Nov 8th, 2013, 04:45 PM   #3
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Default Re: Suing friend for stealing husband

Your recourse is against your husband. Many marriages fail because people do not really know who they are marrying. As people age, their needs and desires change. Part of a successful marriage is adapting to those changes and meeting each others needs in spite of how hard it might be.
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Old Nov 8th, 2013, 04:56 PM   #4
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Default Re: Suing friend for stealing husband

Quote:
Originally Posted by nikuman View Post
I live in a state that does not have alienation of affection laws but I wish there was some way that I can sue my former friend from breaking up my family.

She was one of my closest friends and her family and my family hung out weekly.
We both have husband and 2 kids close in age. Individually her and I would go shopping or go get coffee several times a week. This is how close we were.

Out of the blue a couple months ago, my husband tells me he wants a divorce and recently realized that he wasn't happy. It was a total shock to me and from the conversation, it sounded like he already had a women which he denied.

Our marriage had some issues but nobody's marriage is perfect and with 2 kids and a full time job, there were not much time for us to have husband and wife time. I guess that had been frustrating to my husband.

Without going into details, I discovered that my husband was having an affair with my close friend. They were chatting online about how they wanted to be together, how they hugged and kissed in the car of a Walmart parking lot where they happened to 'run into each other.' She was trashing me as a mother. My husband was falling for and having foreplay on chat and talking about the day they can finally have sex with each other after my husband told me he wanted to separate.

Since I discovered all this, I told my friends husband because I thought he had a right to know as well. He confronted his wife and she admitted on making a mistake and how she would never see my husband again.

My husband has come to the conclusion that he doesn't want to be with me anymore. He said that this 'friend of mine' made him realize how he wasn't happy. In the chat script, you can tell how she guides him into thinking that I am a bad wife and she is better for him and how they should me together. (Which is a bunch a crap cause she never intended on leaving her husband.)

My husband and I are now in the process of divorce and this has hurt me badly. The other woman is back with her husband. Though mutual friends and social media, she has gone on as if nothing happened smiling in pictures and living her life..

At first I blamed myself, now I am just angry at this 'friend' of mine. She still gets to keep her family, and hangs out around town as if nothing happened. I wish her actions could be sued in some kinda a way. It doesn't even have to be money, it can be her having to do community service and cleaning bathrooms and picking up trash.

Is there ANYTHING I can legally do to get some peace of mind for the backstabber that ruined my family life while keeping hers?
Alienation of affection suits have gone the way of carriages and buggy whips. The rationale is that people's affections cannot be stolen. They willingly give them away to whoever they wish. Your husband is the one who had the contract with you and betrayed you.

Looking forward, not back will bring you more peace of mind than revenge ever could.
Old Chinese saying: "When plotting revenge, first dig two graves."

Getting the best settlement you can from the divorce, doing the things you have always wanted to do but could not because of your marriage, pampering yourself so when you hit the dating scene again you look the best you can be, holding your head high and open to enjoy life again -- is the best revenge. And, coincidentally, you just may find yourself happy again -- and glad to be out of a marriage that wasn't all you wanted, either. You will be shed of an unfaithful mate and free to seek out a more faithful companion -- while having long deserved fun along the way.
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Old Nov 8th, 2013, 05:56 PM   #5
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Default Re: Suing friend for stealing husband

It boggles the mind how much people want to blame the other man or woman for the problems that destroy their marriage. As FIC has pointed out, "alienation of affection" statutes have all but been eliminated because the logic employed is so far outdated.

Through it all, one thing should be readily apparent - your spouse wouldn't be straying if there weren't something inherently wrong already in the marriage. The other person is simply the catalyst they need to put their feelings into action. Ultimately, the one who strays is the one who needs to be held account for his/her own actions.

No one said the straying spouse had to act on their feelings. The problem is that they choose not to wait until they are divorced before entering into an adulterous relationship with someone else. Read that - I said the SPOUSE CHOOSES. That makes the straying spouse 100% responsible for his/her actions, and the consequences that occur as a result.

If OP is feeling hurt and betrayed, she should be. However, those feelings should be directed where they belong - towards the spouse that committed the betrayal. Just as money won't buy you love, suing the object of their misguided affection won't fix the broken relationship.
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