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How can I get domestic violence charges dropped. Court is Thursday Aug. 30th!!!

This is a discussion on How can I get domestic violence charges dropped. Court is Thursday Aug. 30th!!! within the Civil Litigation forum, part of the ATTORNEYS, COURTS, LITIGATION category; North Carolina! Aug. 16, 2012 me and my boyfriend of a year and a half got in a fight. He ...

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Old Aug 28th, 2012, 05:02 PM   #1
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Exclamation How can I get domestic violence charges dropped. Court is Thursday Aug. 30th!!!

North Carolina! Aug. 16, 2012 me and my boyfriend of a year and a half got in a fight. He called the cops and i pressed charges. 1. Simple Assault (Threw a Cigarette in my hair) 2. Assault with a deadly weapon FORD ASPIRE (as i was walking in front of his car he started driving when i was at the edge of his right Headlight, I DO NOT think it was with intentions to harm me in anyway.) I Pressed charges and they held him for 48 hours then he made bail! This was a one time FIGHT! i am also pregnant yes granted i pressed the charges out of anger, and i also have a severe Bipolar disorder along with Depression and Anxiety. our baby is due in Jan. and i DO NOT want him going to jail or not being around! He should be there for the ultrasounds delivery,, the whole nine yards! Everyone keeps telling me i can't talk to the DA or anything and telling me the worst thing possible! I need HELP ASAP!!!! I do know that my boyfriend does not have a lawyer. so ? please help me ASAP thank you!!
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Old Aug 28th, 2012, 05:35 PM   #2
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Default Re: how can i can i get domestic Violence charges dropped. Court is Thursday Aug. 30t

I wish to inform you that once the charges have been filed then only the court can decide the matter. If you take back your evidence then the court may punish you. You can meet the DA and explain the situation to the DA. You can also inform the court that because of your situation they may take a lenient view of the charges against your boyfriend. The court will consider all the facts and decide the matter.

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Old Aug 29th, 2012, 01:00 AM   #3
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Thank you for realizing you made a mistake out of anger. I know someone who has done this successfully. Do not let the prosecutor intimidate you. He can't do **** without your testimony. And he cannot retaliate against you, though he might threaten to go after you if you don't testify. He can't do anything to you. However, you should probably try not to openly contradict statements you made to the police, at least statements that were contained in the police report.

What happens is your boyfriend pleads not guilty at the arraignment, and they give him a public defender. But he HAS TO plead not guilty. He should not let them scare him into a guilty plea. Then, you call the public defender and give your side of the story. Include the fact that you are supposed to be on crazy meds, and you likely exaggerated statements to the police. Include important facts, such as the fact that you tried to block him from escaping from you by blocking his car, because you weren't done assaulting him. But he still didn't run you over, even though he had good reason to. He was just trying to get away from you. And maybe he didn't throw a cigarette. Maybe you attacked him and he threw up his hands to defend himself from your blows, and his cigarette went flying. After his public defender takes down that statement, then the public defender calls the prosecutor with your statement and the prosecutor backs down.

Then, THIS IS THE MOST IMPORTANT PART: sign up for an anger management class and attend once a week. Accept responsibility for your part in this. You are right to recognize the value of the father in the kid's life. But you also need to understand the importance of shielding your kid from fighting all the time. Sign up right away. If he's partly to blame, perhaps he should go, too.
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Old Aug 29th, 2012, 01:04 AM   #4
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Default Re: How can I get domestic violence charges dropped. Court is Thursday Aug. 30th!!!

Another good tactic is to have people who know you call the public defender. They can give statements about your mood disorder, and statements about your volatile temper, and the fact that you often make wild exaggerations of events. You've probably had fights with other boyfriends. I would ask them to call the PD. If they hate you, that's even better. This may sound funny, but statements like that from witnesses are what a defender needs to win something like this.

PD's defend all kinds of criminals all day long, and 99% of them are guilty as sin. They love when they get to defend someone that isn't all that bad. Help them out.
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Old Aug 29th, 2012, 11:38 AM   #5
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Default Re: How can I get domestic violence charges dropped. Court is Thursday Aug. 30th!!!

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North Carolina! Aug. 16, 2012 me and my boyfriend of a year and a half got in a fight. He called the cops and i pressed charges. 1. Simple Assault (Threw a Cigarette in my hair) 2. Assault with a deadly weapon FORD ASPIRE (as i was walking in front of his car he started driving when i was at the edge of his right Headlight, I DO NOT think it was with intentions to harm me in anyway.) I Pressed charges and they held him for 48 hours then he made bail! This was a one time FIGHT! i am also pregnant yes granted i pressed the charges out of anger, and i also have a severe Bipolar disorder along with Depression and Anxiety. our baby is due in Jan. and i DO NOT want him going to jail or not being around! He should be there for the ultrasounds delivery,, the whole nine yards! Everyone keeps telling me i can't talk to the DA or anything and telling me the worst thing possible! I need HELP ASAP!!!! I do know that my boyfriend does not have a lawyer. so ? please help me ASAP thank you!!
So your boyfriend put a lit cigarette in the hair of his pregnant girlfriend. Then he started driving while she was walking in front of it -- tried to run her over and kill her (and presumably his unborn child). If that lit cigarette had caught your hair on fire, it could have seared your scalp and maybe even your face. And you would have the scars forever to remember that day.

And you want the charges dropped. Because you want him around to pay the bills. And at your bedside when the child is born. That is if you do not get into another fight by Christmas or New Years and he succeed next time in knocking both of you off.

Due to the seriousness of the charges -- actual events, not made up -- it is not likely that charges will be dropped. For a man this violent will not only do it again, but his violence escalates.

Tell the truth and let justice do its job. This man needs help, and very specific help -- like anger management courses, at least. If he does not get it, the next incident may be far worse.

You can talk with the prosecutor, express your concerns, but keep in mind that if he is not forced to rein in his wrongfully expressed rage -- it will surface again, and again. Until he seriously maims you -- or even the child. Letting him off scot free is not the answer.

If money is an issue, look to your parents or other means for support. Whatever you think he will contribute towards your support will be nothing when balanced against your safety and the child's.
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Old Sep 7th, 2012, 11:36 PM   #6
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Default Re: How can I get domestic violence charges dropped. Court is Thursday Aug. 30th!!!

hey, thank you for your advise i much appreciate it as my case is very similar. can you please tell me what i should do if the my husband's lawyer tells me to go away and doesn't want my help? what can i say to the Crown? if i say i wont testify wont they serve me with subpoena so i am bound to testify? what should be the best way to handle the crown? should i just say i don't remember anything? it is for real that i blew it out of proportion and i do take a lot of meds and say things i don't mean and then regret later. i feel more victimized by the justice system then anything else.
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Old Sep 8th, 2012, 09:15 AM   #7
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hey, thank you for your advise i much appreciate it as my case is very similar. can you please tell me what i should do if the my husband's lawyer tells me to go away and doesn't want my help? what can i say to the Crown? if i say i wont testify wont they serve me with subpoena so i am bound to testify? what should be the best way to handle the crown? should i just say i don't remember anything? it is for real that i blew it out of proportion and i do take a lot of meds and say things i don't mean and then regret later. i feel more victimized by the justice system then anything else.
Since so many who are brutalized by their intimate partners want to drop charges to ; keep the relationship, they "love" the person and think more of him than themselves, the attacker apologizes, honeymoons the victim and promises it will never happen again -- prosecutors and judges are used to seeing the syndrome. And know that the pattern will escalate until someone is maimed or dead.

Your husband's lawyer is to represent him and it is unethical for him to talk to you directly. You are the Crown's witness and any communication should be in the presence of the Crown.

Saying things one does not mean does not equate to domestic violence. And anything one says should not be an excuse or give license for another to lay hands on a person. All you can do is tell the truth. The whole truth.

If there was physical violence, your husband's sentence may include or be limited to anger management classes. But tell the whole story for you will have the opportunity once you are on the stand. Then let the system work.
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Old Sep 9th, 2012, 07:24 AM   #8
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You can beat the charges and get out of abusive relationship without ruining his life. No regrets.you will nerd a lawyer. And 500 bucks. Don't waste a whole day where they will threaten you with perjury if you retract . Nt life was ruined but why should his and our child . He respects me for doing that . They will tray toy like a queen when you press the charges . Later when toy simmer down no one helps and treat you horribly . Courts sucks and I never confirmed or denied . He would have ruined. Take the hit. Pay up and get out. He's mad now but when you hurt and angry pressing charges seems cool but it will **** up you your husband and kids
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Old Apr 16th, 2013, 06:14 PM   #9
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Default Can I drop a charge against my husband for something the prison trying to charge him?

I have a question? Someone please answer me..So my husband is in prison, I Love him to death, the thing is we got into a argument and it went outta control with name callings and stupid threats, now the prison is trying to press charges against him because of his threat to me. The thing is I didn't call them to tell them that he was threaten me, because he is my husband I don't take things to the heart I know he is in a place that gives him a hard time already and I don't mean to give him a hard time, they listen to our conversation and now I don't know what their really trying to do? But I called the prison and they told me that they will send me a notice meaning I might have to go to court for this too, but the thing is this is my husband and I love why would I press charges against him? So is there anyway I can just say i don't want to press charges and they drop it cause he didn't do anything, he only threaten me by anger which i know my husband that's why i don't care just let him say whatever til he feels better then we all good again..So please someone give me a good answer to your best ability..Thank You!
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Old Apr 16th, 2013, 06:20 PM   #10
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I have a question? Someone please answer me..So my husband is in prison, I Love him to death, the thing is we got into a argument and it went outta control with name callings and stupid threats, now the prison is trying to press charges against him because of his threat to me. The thing is I didn't call them to tell them that he was threaten me, because he is my husband I don't take things to the heart I know he is in a place that gives him a hard time already and I don't mean to give him a hard time, they listen to our conversation and now I don't know what their really trying to do? But I called the prison and they told me that they will send me a notice meaning I might have to go to court for this too, but the thing is this is my husband and I love why would I press charges against him? So is there anyway I can just say i don't want to press charges and they drop it cause he didn't do anything, he only threaten me by anger which i know my husband that's why i don't care just let him say whatever til he feels better then we all good again..So please someone give me a good answer to your best ability..Thank You!
If the prison officials heard a credible threat against you, they are obligated to pursue charges against your husband - whether or not you think it's necessary. Prison does things to people, and changes them in ways you may not expect. You may think that the threat was stupid, but what happens if you ignore it and he carries out the threat?

The authorities aren't prosecuting him solely on what you heard, they are prosecuting based on what THEY heard. They are in a position where they are going to protect you from him, whether you like it or not.

Why was he put in prison in the first place? What were the charges, and how long will he be there?
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