Stopping Child Support Payments?

My stepdaugher will be 19 yrs old on 27th April 2008, we currently pay £250
per month to her mother as arrange by the divorce court in 2002 which was
before my husband and I met, we met in January 2004. My stepdaughter lived
with her father from Sunday through till Thursday from 2002 until 29th July
2005, this was supposedly due to the fact that her school was just around
the corner from her fathers flat. She was during this time fed and clothed
by my husband and then by both of us. Her mother never returned or offered
any of the maintenance money towards her keep. When My husband travelled to
see me in Leicester the daughter would come with him fortnightly, as her
mother said it was only fair that we had her every other weekend, so from
January 2004 until april 2007 we paid her travel to and from Leicester fed
and clothed her , and she effectively spent 6 nights a week with my husband.
My stepdaughter is now on her 3rd course at College and has now found the
one she likes, she has decided to continue with follow on courses starting
this September, according to the CSA the law states that parents no longer
have to support a child from the age of 19yrs, but her mother told us we
will pay as long as it takes and to look at the divorce papers, His divorce
papers state that he must pay until the daughter is 17yrs old or has ended
full time education which ever is the later. The daughter lives with her
boyfriend for more than half the week, probably 2/3rds and growing, the
mother does not give the daughter any money from the £250 she has to live
off her EMA and money from her part-time job. It is fair to say that if
the daughter had not messed around trying course as advised by her mother
after we refused to give her \"payments for an extra year to help her out\"
as she put it in 2005, she would have finished her full time education by
now. All the courses that she has taken so far she could have been done
on day release from a job associated with the course (hairdressing,
Hospitality, travel & tourism) My husband left Colchester to live in
Leicester in 2005 and we married in 2006, he travels by train weekly back to
colchester to work at our
expense approx £3 30 per month. We also still pay for the daughters
train fares to come and visit us althought the visits are irregular now she
has a boyfriend and we still supply her food and usually clothing and have
never deducted anything from the maintenance payments. Her mother works
full-time and has done for severl years now. What we want to know is when
can we legally stop paying, surley if the daughter is old enough to co-habit
she is old enough to take responsibility for herself? We are not young
fly-by-nights I am nearly 53 and my husband is nearly 51, we are both the
blameless parties due to adulteress partners....we are trying to build a
life and at some point have to think of our future, neither of us has a
pension worth a carrot....I am at breaking point. I got nothing from my ex
and struggled with 3 children I put 1 through college and another through
university, I am now penalised with payments for another child. Will the
government subsidise me in my old age due to the fact that I have paid (I
have never claimed benefits) for my children and have been unable to save
for my old age? If the CSA state payments stop at 19yrs, surely the court
cannot state differently? If they do, surely it makes a mockery of the
whole maintenance system, it has to be one or the other...not both

Just a visitor but what is the real question here??