denied visitation but asking for more support

My ex is denying visitation and health info. We live outside California
where the child lives. How do I file mediation/hearing? Can I do it on
one trip to CA? Should I use a form? Do I have to be in court to schedule a
mediation hearing? Do I need to mail something to the court or get a process
server to serve the CP? I got a court request for income info from my
employer, I am self-employed now, and always current on payments, what do I do?
I have been paying child support on time and even going 50/50 with private school tuition, precollege savings to her account, sporting equipment, and gifts. Recently I asked her to send him for the summer (always at my expense) with the flight attendant. She refused to do so, saying that she wasn't comfortable with the program. Yet she refused to bring him when I offered to bring him back. Now she refuses to answer any requests for visitation including the ones in state and she refuses to answer written questions about his health. (In violation of the visitation order) How do I file a contempt form? Do I have to be there in person. Do I have to serve her? And do I have to give my current wife's financial info in court?