In Need of Advice in Wisconsin...
I am 14 weeks pregnant. (My original posting is copied below.) What I am wondering now, is if I have proof of my ex threatening me, am I able to use that to keep him away from the baby when it's born? Also, he has threatened me saying that if I know what's good for me I'll be calling him when I go into labor and not after I have the baby. I don't have to have him there when I have the baby, right?
I was asked this question when I put up my original posting: Why did I have a child with him if I knew he was this way? Well, he wasn't this way when I first met him. I know, I know. I must sound like a million other women who've been in this situation, but it's true. He changed into a mean, violent, angry man overnight. And, I am scared; not just for me but for our baby. I mean, yeah, he drank, but he wasn't doing drugs, and he wasn't being violent. And, when we met he said he couldn't have kids, so I didn't think that I was ever going to end up in this position with him at all. He has lived in this area for a total of 6 months. In that time period, he has received 2 disorderly conducts and an OWI. I have 26 more weeks before I'm due, so I'm sure that his record here will only grow. Especially since he's driving around without a license. Does the fact that he's been violent in the past and drinks and drives going to be any help to me if he does try to get unsupervised visitations once the baby is born? And, what happens if I don't put him down as the father on the birth certificate? Am I able to move before the baby is born and make sure that he can't contact me? If I get a restraining order on him, will that be for me and the baby? Please help me.... I can't afford a lawyer, and I know for sure that he can't. I make more than he does, and I don't have fines to pay every payday.......
ORIGINAL POSTING:
I am almost 13 weeks pregnant. My exboyfriend, who is the father of my unborn baby, "says" he wants to be a part of the babies life, however, I don't and will never trust him to ever be alone with my baby. First of all, he's an alcoholic and he drinks and drives. He also abuses both legal and illegal drugs. In the past 5 months, he has gotten 2 disorderly conducts for beating people up, and an OWI, driving at about 2 1/2 times the legal limit for Wisconsin, which is .08. Can anyone tell me what options I have? People are telling me all sorts of things. They tell me not to put his name on the birth certificate and not to go after child support, and then he won't have any rights to the baby. And, if he wants to get any rights, he will have to get a paternity test done, and take me to court, etc... and, since he never follows through with anything, he probably won't see this through either. However, I'm worried that if I keep his name off the birth certificate and don't go after child support, that he will actually follow through with everything, and it will end up being bad for me and the baby in the end.
I cannot afford to get a lawyer, so I'm asking for any information that anyone can share with me. I don't know what to do; all I know is I have to do what is best for my baby no matter what.
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