I'm 14. I don't want to live with my dad !!

This is a discussion on I'm 14. I don't want to live with my dad !! within the Child Custody & Support forum, part of the FAMILY LAW, DIVORCE, CUSTODY category; i'm fifteen and my parents just decided on divorce. i really don't want to live with my mom at all, ...

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Old May 24th, 2009, 08:39 PM   #21
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Default re: I'm 14. I don't want to live with my dad !!

i'm fifteen and my parents just decided on divorce. i really don't want to live with my mom at all, but she says it's not my decision and that it will be joint custody. my sixteen-year-old brother doesn't want to live with her at all either. we both want to stay with my dad and each other. is it my decision? if she does try to take us, can my dad, brother, and i take it to court?
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Old May 24th, 2009, 11:18 PM   #22
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Default re: I'm 14. I don't want to live with my dad !!

If there is a custody hearing in the works - tell your dad you want to talk to the judge. Tell him what you said here. If your dad does not cooperate and agree to have you speak with the judge (his attorney would help him there) - there may be more going on here than you are aware of. He may not be prepared in whatever fashion to be a full time single parent. That may be why your mom says it's not your decision at your age....
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Old Jun 24th, 2009, 07:33 PM   #23
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Default I don't want to live with my dad anymore

Hello everyone,

I am 15 1/2 years old and i reside in orange county, california. My parents divorced three weeks before I was born. There were MANY nasty court cases between the two which included 730 examinations. Until I was about 6 or 7 I would live with my mom, but I would see my dad before work. We both had to leave at noon. My mom picked me up after school.

I believe they were granted joint custody when I was 7. Since then I've lived at my moms house one week and then switch to my dads house for one week.

My dad has a huge, horrible temper. Since the change of the schedule, my dad has verbally abused me. He is nice at times and it really makes you believe everythings ok, but he gets really angry over the tiniest things and imperfections. For example, If I dont clean the garage right or dont say what he wants to hear, then I will get berated and harshly punished. He starts fights with my stepmom and I believe he has hit her. At least she said he did and I would believe her no matter what.

Most recently on Saturday, he blew up and yelled at us and called us hurtful names. He has called me EVERYTHING in the book. I saw him knock the phone out of her hand and he made me call and leave a message for my mother to ask her if I could spend the rest of the weekend with her. He made me go anyway. In the message you could hear my scared voice talking, BUT you could hear him yell SHUT UP!!!! at my stepmom in the background.

I left my house key there and I have no intention of returning. I sent him an email which says:

"Dear Dad,

I am tired of putting up with your bad temper and the way you treat mom and me at our house. I do not like the way I feel when you get into a rage towards Mom, Summer, and me. I'm not going to your house on Monday, and I want to live with my mom full time now. It is my decision. I am also tired of switching houses every week. I have thought about this for a long time and I am sure of it. I still want to see you, but I am currently deciding how.

Sincerely,
Sam "

I sent it at 12:22pm on 6/24/09 and he has not replied. It is 5:30 on 6/24/09. However he has called me at 4:50 and I did not answer.

I am positive I do not want to live with him anymore. I do not want to physically see him or talk to him now. My mom went to the attorney to figure out the next step and she returned unable to say anything except" I encourage you to maintain a relationship with your father."

I do not know what to do next. Please help!!


Sam
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Old Jun 24th, 2009, 08:13 PM   #24
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Default re: I'm 14. I don't want to live with my dad !!

That is kind of what she has to say. She could seek a modification of custody based on your preference. Your father can try to say she has influenced your decision which is why she has to be very careful.

Switching custody every week must be hard. I wish you success in getting your parents to listen.
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Old Jun 24th, 2009, 08:26 PM   #25
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Default re: I'm 14. I don't want to live with my dad !!

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Switching custody every week must be hard. I wish you success in getting your parents to listen.

We already know your opinion of 50/50....way to slip it in again
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Old Jun 24th, 2009, 08:36 PM   #26
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Default re: I'm 14. I don't want to live with my dad !!

No need to get snippy.
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Old Jun 24th, 2009, 08:42 PM   #27
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Default re: I'm 14. I don't want to live with my dad !!

Think about why you don't want to live with Dad and keep a journal. That way, if Mom can file a motion in court (and maybe get you a Guardian at Litem) you can provide reasons for wanting a change in custody. At your age, if you are moving to another town, you also need to consider how hard it will be on yourself to change high schools. I certainly understand how you feel...I went through the same feelings decades ago only to find out that my mother was an alcoholic and was never there for me! I was much better off with my dad even though I hated his strict rules my step mother! I will definately keep you in my prayers! Hang in there and don't do anything to make yourself look unstable. Consider talking with a guidance counselor, a hotline for run-away teens etc. They should be able to privde you with more information. Good Luck and GOD bless!
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Old Jun 24th, 2009, 08:47 PM   #28
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Default re: I'm 14. I don't want to live with my dad !!

Nice post. The most recent poster lives one week with mom and one week with dad. The original post was started a long time ago.

So hopefully the current poster is well aware of the ups and downs of each parent. I too wish this child luck.
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Old Jun 24th, 2009, 08:50 PM   #29
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Default re: I'm 14. I don't want to live with my dad !!

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We already know your opinion of 50/50....way to slip it in again
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Old Jun 24th, 2009, 10:29 PM   #30
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Default re: I'm 14. I don't want to live with my dad !!

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...If your dad does not cooperate and agree to have you speak with the judge (his attorney would help him there) - there may be more going on here than you are aware of. He may not be prepared in whatever fashion to be a full time single parent. That may be why your mom says it's not your decision at your age....
Now if you this boy were speaking about wanting to live with his mother, I think you know good and well you would've never made a comment like this. But because it is the father he wants to live with, HE MUST NOT BE READY TO BE A FULL TIME PARENT.

Have you really said anything to help this kid or where you just irritated he wanted his DAD and not his MOM?
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