PLEASE HELP!!! Im NOT trying to keep my ex from his son

This is a discussion on PLEASE HELP!!! Im NOT trying to keep my ex from his son within the Child Custody & Support forum, part of the FAMILY LAW, DIVORCE, CUSTODY category; So let me apologize for the length of this post... Well my ex bf & i have a 1 yr ...

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Old Apr 18th, 2013, 11:25 PM   #1
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Default PLEASE HELP!!! Im NOT trying to keep my ex from his son

So let me apologize for the length of this post...
Well my ex bf & i have a 1 yr old son. When i was about 5 months pregnant he stopped talking to me & changed his number. I had no way to contact him. My babyshower was coming up & my mom wanted to know if his family would be there. Come to find out his mom knew nothing about the baby when i dropped off their invite. I had my son & took the baby over to see her. About 3 weeks after he was born his deadbeat dad calls me saying we need to tlk so he comes over & sees the baby. Since that day he's seen him maybe 4 or 5 times. He got married & had another baby. He asked me if his wife could come pick up the baby because he's always tired after work but i told him h*ll no because i dnt kno her & him being tired is NOT an excuse. Im always tired!! He's also mad because our son has my last name.

So what i want to know is if i put him on child support will he be able to change the baby's last name? Will he have his social security number? He's not on his birth certificate btw. Will his wife have any rights to my son? Plz be clear, im NOT trying to keep him from his son. I've always tried to include him in everything, excluding my son's recent bday party.
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Old Apr 18th, 2013, 11:41 PM   #2
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Default re: PLEASE HELP!!! Im NOT trying to keep my ex from his son

You need to file for paternity, support and custody.
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Old Apr 18th, 2013, 11:42 PM   #3
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Default re: PLEASE HELP!!! Im NOT trying to keep my ex from his son

He could go to court and request to be added to the BC and to give his child his last name (or even hyphenate it), its up to the judge to agree? More than likely he will at LEAST be added as the father after a paternity test. Will his wife have RIGHTS to your son, no, but once there is a visitation order he will likely be able to designate an adult to come pick up or drop off the child for him. Just a thought but maybe you could ask the wife to lunch so you can meet her and get more comfortable with her (and try to have a good relationship with her) because if he gets visitation (very likely) she will be your childs stepmom and will be involved in his life.
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Old Apr 18th, 2013, 11:43 PM   #4
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Default re: PLEASE HELP!!! Im NOT trying to keep my ex from his son

I wish to inform you that you may not be able to have child support unless paternity is proved. In this regard will first have to establish paternity and then child support can be granted. As regard last name of child it can be changed after paternity is established and if court consider that it is in best interest of child. Wife of father may not have any rights because she is not related to child. Unless paternity is not proved father has no right to child.

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Old Apr 18th, 2013, 11:57 PM   #5
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I know the courts will order a DNA test. Im fine with visitation & him being on the BC but is there any way i can fight him changing the last name. My son has been getting the shory end of the stick since he was born & i dnt see him suddenly stepping up after this child support mess is settled.

Btw thanks for ur replies
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Old Apr 19th, 2013, 07:29 AM   #6
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Default Re: PLEASE HELP!!! Im NOT trying to keep my ex from his son

The court will make a decision based on what they feel the best interests of the child to be. I will make one comment, the child will not be looked at strangely in this day and age for having a different last name than you. He will be looked at strangely for having a hyphenated name.
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Old Apr 19th, 2013, 09:50 AM   #7
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Default Re: PLEASE HELP!!! Im NOT trying to keep my ex from his son

Quote:
Originally Posted by Clueless801 View Post
So let me apologize for the length of this post...
Well my ex bf & i have a 1 yr old son. When i was about 5 months pregnant he stopped talking to me & changed his number. I had no way to contact him. My babyshower was coming up & my mom wanted to know if his family would be there. Come to find out his mom knew nothing about the baby when i dropped off their invite. I had my son & took the baby over to see her. About 3 weeks after he was born his deadbeat dad calls me saying we need to tlk so he comes over & sees the baby. Since that day he's seen him maybe 4 or 5 times. He got married & had another baby. He asked me if his wife could come pick up the baby because he's always tired after work but i told him h*ll no because i dnt kno her & him being tired is NOT an excuse. Im always tired!! He's also mad because our son has my last name.

So what i want to know is if i put him on child support will he be able to change the baby's last name? Will he have his social security number? He's not on his birth certificate btw. Will his wife have any rights to my son? Plz be clear, im NOT trying to keep him from his son. I've always tried to include him in everything, excluding my son's recent bday party.
why are you calling him a deadbeat? if you want child support file for it because untill a court orders him to pay hes not obligated to do anything.and first he has to establish paternity because as of right now he doesnt have a child and has no olbigation to do anything for your son. and no his wife has no rights to your son at all she is a legal stranger to your son.
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