Head Games: Help, before I need Therapy!

[Laura*lee]

My husband is the custodial parent of his 9 year old son. His mother demands to speak to him on the phone at least once a week. She uses him as a spy and tells him that my husband and I don' t love him, my sons are not his brothers, and just bad mouths us all. Then she tells him that she let him live with his father because she is poor, when she makes about 2500 a month and only has to support her, and has a car that she got in the divorce that is paid off. She tells him that people are trying to hurt her, not us, strangers. She tells him that she let him live with his father because she had dreams, but she makes it seem like a good thing to him. My husband simply asked her to sign the papers to let the boy live with him and she did, no problem, she didn't even bother to show up in court. She has physically thretened me and my in laws. She messes with my stepson's head and makes him think that she is the only person who cares about him when all of her actions contradict that. She visits him about five times a year. It is obvious that she seriously needs mental help, not because of this situation, but even before their divorce, my husband, her family, and his family agreed that their was something mentally wrong with this woman. On top of that, she is a control freak, she is rude to everyone, she does not know when to be quiet and listen to anyone, she has never shown my stepson love even before all of this. He is just like her. She made him like her and we have to take him to a psyciatrist over it. He can't get along with other children, including his stepbrothers. His grades are extremely poor because he has that same mentality as her that he is always right, even when their are directions at the top of a paper, he still does it his way. My husband was in the military, so she did most of the work on my stepson when they were married. SO, my question is, Do judges find a parent unfit often due to mental illness? Does she first need to be diagnosed, or will the judge have her evaluated? We took him to a therapist once and plan to take him regularly, but we feel that if we do that, and still allow him to go with her occasionally, the therapy will not do any good. This is not about myself and my husband. We are afraid that if he stays the way he is, his future is doomed. He is a really smart kid, like her. But he does not listen, he gets violent, he does not get along with others, he is extremely rude, and self-centered, he wants people to try to win him over with gifts and money, JUST LIKE HER! He has been toying with our heads and he is only NINE YEARS OLD. What can we do????

Obviously she sounds like a woman who would not come around to visit and you mainly have to deal with the phone calls. Go take out a restraing order on her. If she is restrained against you then she can't call you house or she goes to jail. If she can't call the house then she can't tell the boy all her lies. Your actually doing the boy a favor.........

Or you can do what the book says and ask the boy how does it make you feel and say he will realizze the truth one day. That crap are for counselers who never went through this stuff. I vote for restraing order.