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Father wanting custody; We have shared visitation 1 week on 1 week off

This is a discussion on Father wanting custody; We have shared visitation 1 week on 1 week off within the Child Custody & Support forum, part of the FAMILY LAW, DIVORCE, CUSTODY category; ok so here the long story short. i have a 9 year old son with a woman that i was ...

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Old Jan 13th, 2013, 09:44 AM   #1
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Confused Father wanting custody; We have shared visitation 1 week on 1 week off

ok so here the long story short. i have a 9 year old son with a woman that i was not with after he was around 2. we have shared visitation 1 week on 1 week off sense he was born. in the last year on her weeks she calls me to come get him after only having him maybe 2 days. in the last 6 to 8 months she has only tried to see him 2 times for a few hours each time. and didnt show any interest in his birthday or christmas or any other holiday. i dont have legal custody. but he is on my state state medical, housing, and economic assistance for the last 4-5 years. i want to figure this out so my son dont have to keep getting hurt when his mother decides she wants to and dosent want to be in his life.
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Old Jan 13th, 2013, 10:16 AM   #2
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Default re: Father wanting custody; We have shared visitation 1 week on 1 week off

I wish to inform you that you can have a court order regarding having child custody. In this regard court consider best interest of child as main consideration. You may argue in court that interest of child are getting affected because of sudden desire by mother for having child. As existing custody order is not suitable thus you can file for modification of child custody and obtain sole custody.

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Old Jan 13th, 2013, 11:16 AM   #3
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Default Re: Father wanting custody; We have shared visitation 1 week on 1 week off

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Originally Posted by gizmo605 View Post
ok so here the long story short. i have a 9 year old son with a woman that i was not with after he was around 2. we have shared visitation 1 week on 1 week off sense he was born. in the last year on her weeks she calls me to come get him after only having him maybe 2 days. in the last 6 to 8 months she has only tried to see him 2 times for a few hours each time. and didnt show any interest in his birthday or christmas or any other holiday. i dont have legal custody. but he is on my state state medical, housing, and economic assistance for the last 4-5 years. i want to figure this out so my son dont have to keep getting hurt when his mother decides she wants to and dosent want to be in his life.
If you are receiving state aid, the state will eventually go after her for support that the child is receiving.

Was visitation court ordered? If so, there should have been a support order put in place at the same time.

You and the child would benefit from having a formal custody decree, support and visitation order. You have custody by default and must have had to show some legal relationship to the child to receive state assistance. Having a formal custody decree, however, is what you need.

As to your child and a broken heart from his mother's peripatetic appearances, I know of no easy fix. Excuses go just so far and never are adequate. All you can do is give him lots of love and make him feel secure in the parent that does love and care for him.
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Old Jan 14th, 2013, 12:36 AM   #4
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Default Re: Father wanting custody; We have shared visitation 1 week on 1 week off

Your question did not mention whether you are married to the mother. Moreover, if you are not on the birth certificate of the child then file a paternity petition with the court to legally establish your relationship to the child and at the same time you can petition the court, and must successfully show that you having sole custody is in the child's best interest. Negligence on the part of a mother is certainly a serious issue. You can seek to modify the current (one week on one week off) arrangement to provide for primary custody to be with you based on the mother’s negligent conduct. However, a judge will usually not suspend the mother's visitation indefinitely if the mother wants visitation.
So, I would advise you to obtain legal counsel to assist in this process.
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