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I can't take it anymore, financially, emotionally... and to hear my daughter cry

This is a discussion on I can't take it anymore, financially, emotionally... and to hear my daughter cry within the Child Custody & Support forum, part of the FAMILY LAW, DIVORCE, CUSTODY category; Confused and in need of help. Thanks in advance. Ok, to start, I have a beautiful 5 year old daughter ...

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Old Aug 24th, 2012, 05:53 PM   #1
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Default I can't take it anymore, financially, emotionally... and to hear my daughter cry

Confused and in need of help. Thanks in advance.

Ok, to start, I have a beautiful 5 year old daughter who lives in Oklahoma with her mother. I have struggled with her mother since my daughter was one to try and establish a relationship to no avail. This seems to get worse and worse with every day that passes and I am considering doing something I never thought I would do. She has made it a point that she could care less if Im in my daughters life or have any relationship with her what so ever. In fact, she has done everything in her power to stop me from forming a bond with my daughter. I live in Florida and have been struggling to get by since discharged from the Army in 2007 (the year my daughter was born) and forced to move back to Florida. I have filed bankruptcy, lost my business and home and have nothing to my name but this computer Im typing on, a bed and some clothes. I once faithfully paid child support and allowed my daughters mother to humor me by saying I could see my daughter soon and then soon after she would cancel. Flights she never showed up for, claimed she couldnt get off work. Granted I could have got on a plane my self but soon after my daughter was born my life (financially) turned down hill. I havent seen my daughter in 3 1/2 years and honestly believed I could reason with her mother and form a friendship. Her mother was married to another soldier in Iraq at the time we started dating and I didnt find out until the day she told me she was pregnant. I notified my unit and was ordered to immediately stop all contact or be charged with adultery and sent to prison. She has never forgiven me even though I have forgiven her deceit. I told her we could never be together because I couldnt trust her in a relationship but would do whatever I could to help her and support her. My daughter is 5 now and finally able to understand somewhat and her mother doesnt like it. I would talk to her every chance I got and laugh and joke until recently. Her mother has started filling her head with things to make her not want to talk to me and its killing me inside that this evil B**** would hurt her own daughter emotionally and break a bond i have been building for over a year. She also has a one year old by another guy and is already pulling the same type of things with him. Its sickening and the longer I know her, the more evil she becomes. I have numerous examples but for the sake or this question, please just take my word.


I cant take it anymore, financially, emotionally and I cant stand to hear my daughter cry on the phone because shes confused having mommy whisper in her ear to tell me she doesnt want to talk. I cant take her to court because I have no money and am barely making it now by a thread. I know things will turn around financially but the situation will never change with her mother. Dating her was the biggest mistake of my life. Im looking into signing over my parental rights. I understand this cant be done without someone willing to adopt. My ex's mother is willing. I just dont know where to start. To answer a question ahead of time, doing this will hopefully eliminate any emotional scaring to my daughter and lift the weight of child support off my shoulders. My daughter will get older and I will make myself easily found when she is ready and old enough to fully understand the circumstances I will be here for her and build a bond strong enough to make up for this mess her mother and I have caused in her life. I love he more than life itself but this is not healthy.
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Old Aug 24th, 2012, 06:28 PM   #2
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Default re: "I cant take it anymore, financially, emotionally"

I wish to inform you that you may sign off your parental rights but will still be financially responsible for your daughter unless she is adopted. You may file a petition in the court stating that your ex's mother wants to adopt your daughter and you want to sign away your parental rights. The court always considers the best interest of the child. The burden of proof will be on you to show to the Court that it is in the best interests of your child that you sign away your parental rights and she may be adopted by your ex's mother. The court will consider all the facts and decide the matter.

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Old Aug 24th, 2012, 07:40 PM   #3
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Default re: "I cant take it anymore, financially, emotionally"

I need help. I had sighned my right away of my 3 children to thier grandparents in december 2009 I was told threw the courts im allowed 2hour visits every other weekend the grandparents have not fallowed the papers.. They also have not ordered me to pay child support for three years. Now in aug 2012 they r now wanting me to pay I dnt understand how they want me to pay now if they didnt want me to then. I understand I should pay for the kids I dnt think I should have to after all this time.. The only reason they r takin me to court for child support is cause im taking them to get my vis
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Old Aug 24th, 2012, 07:41 PM   #4
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Default re: "I cant take it anymore, financially, emotionally"

I need help. I had sighned my right away of my 3 children to thier grandparents in december 2009 I was told threw the courts im allowed 2hour visits every other weekend the grandparents have not fallowed the papers.. They also have not ordered me to pay child support for three years. Now in aug 2012 they r now wanting me to pay I dnt understand how they want me to pay now if they didnt want me to then. I understand I should pay for the kids I dnt think I should have to after all this time.. The only reason they r takin me to court for child support is cause im taking them to get my visits. What do I do. Am I gonna have to pay after 3 years of not bein ordered??
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Old Aug 24th, 2012, 07:54 PM   #5
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Default re: "I cant take it anymore, financially, emotionally"

Jamh - you need to start your own thread.

OP - is your child support court-ordered? You don't mention ever going to court. Did your name go on the BC?

I ask this bc mom was married to someone else and HE would've automatically been the legal father. In which case you would've had to do DNA.
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Old Aug 24th, 2012, 08:37 PM   #6
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Default re: "I cant take it anymore, financially, emotionally"

AFF- Thank you for your reply. Im still slightly confused. Who do I contact to file for a hearing? Also, there is good chance that if I do sign over my rights under the impression that her mother will adopt, I have a feeling she would ask her mother not to in order to keep the child support and leave me without a leg to stand on. Which would be done first, the adoption or my rights? What are my "rights"? And is there a way to safeguard myself in case she does what I think she will?


Goddessoflubboc- When I found out she was married, and notified my unit, they in turn notified her husband. He contacted me and let me know that this was the second time he had been contacted because his wife was unfaithful. He had already filed for divorce and it was finalized before my daughter was born. I took a paternity test and was court ordered to make payments. My name is also on the birth certificate.
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Old Aug 24th, 2012, 09:17 PM   #7
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Default Re: I can't take it anymore, financially, emotionally... and to hear my daughter cry

That doesnt change anything if the child born during her marriage the husband is likely the legal Father
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Old Aug 24th, 2012, 09:21 PM   #8
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Default Re: I can't take it anymore, financially, emotionally... and to hear my daughter cry

How could her ex husband be the legal father, for one if Im being ordered by a judge to pay child support after paternity was established? Also, they are divorced and have been for years. Never once has his name came up since then. If what you are saying is true (hypothetically), how does that change my situation?
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Old Aug 24th, 2012, 09:23 PM   #9
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Default Re: I can't take it anymore, financially, emotionally... and to hear my daughter cry

Ok then that explain it you took paternity test and was established as Father
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Old Aug 24th, 2012, 09:24 PM   #10
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Default Re: I can't take it anymore, financially, emotionally... and to hear my daughter cry

Yea. That would have been way to easy
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