Change in verbal custody agreement

[Tersh]

Hello, my ex boyfriend and I have a pending custody hearing in September. My 4 year d son starts school before this date and I want our shared 50/50 arrangements to change so I have him on all school days. This is 3 alternating days one week and 2 the next. I am a stay at home mom with a one year old and a baby on the way. I also now only have one vehicle due to my husband and mines decision for me to stay home. My ex and I were meeting originally on days that my son switched houses. This is no longer possible. I have advised my ex of the new schedule I wish to implement and he will not consent. I received a letter from his lawyer saying he will file an emergency motion if I follow thru on my "threat" what are my rights? I can not afford a lawyer

[goddessoflubboc]

Children starting school is often a time for a change in custody.

Since there is no order in place it's doubtful he'll get an emergency hearing. When you do go to court you should try and be represented as well.

[AFFA]

I wish to inform you that you can have child custody based upon best interest of child as main consideration. You can inform lawyer that it is in best interest of child that child lives with you because you can take better care of child as you are stay at home. Further you can determine a schedule where father can meet child so that child remains in contact with both parents. You can self represent yourself in court and can also argue your medical condition as well as other factors like one car etc as a basis of your relief.

AFF

[Friend In Court]

Originally Posted by Tersh Hello, my ex boyfriend and I have a pending custody hearing in September. My 4 year d son starts school before this date and I want our shared 50/50 arrangements to change so I have him on all school days. This is 3 alternating days one week and 2 the next. I am a stay at home mom with a one year old and a baby on the way. I also now only have one vehicle due to my husband and mines decision for me to stay home. My ex and I were meeting originally on days that my son switched houses. This is no longer possible. I have advised my ex of the new schedule I wish to implement and he will not consent. I received a letter from his lawyer saying he will file an emergency motion if I follow thru on my "threat" what are my rights? I can not afford a lawyer

Your son is going to have to attend school so no matter with which parent, the 50-50 custody arrangement will no longer work. Your ex's lawyer is an idiot!!

Was there a custody order from the court setting out the 50-50 arrangement? If so, YOU need to be the one moving for emergency relief from the order.

Try the Law Society, first, for representation if you cannot afford private counsel.

Of the factors for your keeping custody is keeping the siblings together, the child is doing well, the 50-50 arrangement is too disruptive for a school age child -- some of the things the court can consider for your having primary residency. The courts have a recommended visitation schedule which you should be able to get from family court to frame a proposal to modify the order.

Good luck to you.

[Lexus]

Verbal agreements cannot enforce through courts because the courts are unaware of what rules have been broken.

[Friend In Court]

When a custody or other matter is submitted to the court, it is the court's judgment, not the parties' that rules. That is why the matter is before the court -- not to accede to one parent's wishes or the other, not to rubber stamp the parents' agreements between themselves, but to make an independent ruling 'in the best interest of the child.'

[Tersh]

Thank you for the replies. The agreement has only been verbal, we have never gone to court. Our court date is after he starts school so I am trying to enforce this change. He originally made this new schedule and I have it in an email. Once he realized he would have to pay me support he told me it wasn't happening.

[Friend In Court]

Originally Posted by Tersh Thank you for the replies. The agreement has only been verbal, we have never gone to court. Our court date is after he starts school so I am trying to enforce this change. He originally made this new schedule and I have it in an email. Once he realized he would have to pay me support he told me it wasn't happening.

His opinion does not count for zip. Once the matter is in court, only the judge's opinion counts. And the judge has resources to enforce his!!!