I've been battling my sons father for years

[Angelicaasia]

Please I need advice!!!!

I've been battling my sons father for years. This summer I decided to go to Florida to spend the summer with my family. I told my sons father that we were going to be here and now he's been calling my son playing mind games with his to manipulate him by bribing him with all of the things he wants and likes. He's *been putting me down to my son and trying to make me look bad. I have sole custody of my son and the judge asked me if I wanted the father to have visitations and I told him yes because I felt like my child would benefit from it now it's a problem. I can count on one hand how many times he has came to pick my son up I've even arranged for my family to take my son to him tons of times not asking for a dime. But now with me being in Florida for the summer he's now threatening to take me to court to try and get my son taken away and I really don't want to put my son through all of this because he's only three. Now I'm to the point where I don't even want to return to Virginia because his father is a problem for us emotionally. He's been abusive in the past please can someone tell me what I should do or if he can really take my kid.

[Friend In Court]

Originally Posted by Angelicaasia Please I need advice!!!! I've been battling my sons father for years. This summer I decided to go to Florida to spend the summer with my family. I told my sons father that we were going to be here and now he's been calling my son playing mind games with his to manipulate him by bribing him with all of the things he wants and likes. He's *been putting me down to my son and trying to make me look bad. I have sole custody of my son and the judge asked me if I wanted the father to have visitations and I told him yes because I felt like my child would benefit from it now it's a problem. I can count on one hand how many times he has came to pick my son up I've even arranged for my family to take my son to him tons of times not asking for a dime. But now with me being in Florida for the summer he's now threatening to take me to court to try and get my son taken away and I really don't want to put my son through all of this because he's only three. Now I'm to the point where I don't even want to return to Virginia because his father is a problem for us emotionally. He's been abusive in the past please can someone tell me what I should do or if he can really take my kid.

Reversing custody is not usually done except for strong mitigating reasons, especially of a child of tender years which 3 years old most certainly is. So, unless he can prove unfitness, I would not take his custody challenge seriously.

Demeaning the other parent, being verbally or physically abusive is enough to get any visitation supervised -- by professionals, and not family, either. What you might consider is modifying the custody decree as to visitation, documenting your reasons why -- specific instances, what he has said and done to undermine or berate you to the child. This kind of emotional abuse is very damaging to the child and should not be tolerated. Alienation of affection is a term you might look up for more and more judges are becoming educated as to the harm this does to the child.

Once you return to "V" (Virgina? Vermont?), you might move to modify the custody decree as to visitation, request it be supervised. That way everything about his time with the child will be documented by third parties -- the time he arrives, any dates he misses, what his interaction is with the child, what he says and does, how the child relates to him. That should put your mind at ease and benefit the child in the long run.