Husband is american and I am a green card holder

This is a discussion on Husband is american and I am a green card holder within the Child Custody & Support forum, part of the FAMILY LAW, DIVORCE, CUSTODY category; International Custody Help Needed Urgently. My husband's american and I am currently a green card holder. We have been married ...

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Old Aug 1st, 2012, 01:30 AM   #1
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Exclamation Husband is american and I am a green card holder

International Custody Help Needed Urgently.

My husband's american and I am currently a green card holder. We have been married for 3 years and has a 6 mths old baby boy. Currently me and my son are back in my motherland visiting my family. It was all planned with the permission of my husband of course. He didn't come here with us because he is in the midst of looking for a job. Me and my son are supposed to be here for 3 mths visiting my family and letting my mom see her grandson

Its been a month now that we're back here,me and my husband got into some petty argument involving families. Things got pretty bad that he is threatening me with divorce. I tried to talk things out with him but after much attempts,i failed.

Now he wants his son back in US. I have no problem with that,I am not depriving him of being a father. However he made it clear he didnt want me back. I moved to the US when I married him and I didnt have no family and barely any friends there. I tried to save this marriage for the sake of our son,but he refused to listen to anything I have to say.

Now suddenly he's threatening me for international child abduction when the purpose of my trip here was a short visit to meet family. He knows I am clueless about child custody or divorce law in the US and so he is doing everything he can to really kick me to the curb.

Being a green card holder, I hardly know my rights when it comes to custody battles and divorce proceedings. If I go back stateside, I wont have a place to stay or people that I know to assist me. But if i don't, he says he'll make sure i go to jail for what I did.

I'm not depriving him of being a father, I'm not hiding our son from him. But right now he wants our son to himself and to get rid of me. Who can I go to for help? I want my son as much as he does and I'm willing to do anything. What are my rights? And what are the best thing for me to do now?

I dont want to lose my son. Pls help me. I am desperate. I want to do the right thing for my son regardless. And I don't want to break any laws.
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Old Aug 1st, 2012, 02:12 AM   #2
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I wish to inform you that court considers best interest of child as main consideration. Further as you have come with the consent of father therefore you cannot be charged with child abduction. You can inform father of the fact that he has consented to child being brought in your country. Further in child custody court consider best interest of child as main consideration.

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Old Aug 1st, 2012, 02:43 AM   #3
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thank you for your reply.

so do i have to return to the US to avoid being accused of child abduction? I have no family/friends there. I moved there on the basis of being married to him. I have no other reason to be there if he's proceeding divorce.

can i stay here until he served me papers?
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Old Aug 1st, 2012, 10:28 AM   #4
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What he has done is sent you abroad then deserted you, sent you to family then made it difficult if not impossible to return. The "best interest of the child" has nothing to do with your situation. That is a standard used in custody cases.

The U.S. has an extradition policy with Malaysia and he might try to allege parental kidnapping to get you returned to the U.S. What you need to do, aware that this is a possibility, is document the circumstances with authorities -- how you came to be there, the impossibility of your returning to the U.S. with the child . In addition to Malaysian authorities, and I would see the parallel of the Malaysian Dept. of State, also see the U.S. authorities and document with them his abandonment, desertion of you and the child back in Malaysia.

You may have to return to the U.S. But if he serves you with papers, your reply should include that he pay for your travel costs and accommodations back in the U.S. for as long as it takes for the divorce, custody, support case to be finalized. Also, you can counter in your petition that he pay for attorneys fees. That is not an uncommon prayer of a petition for divorce when the parties means are unequal.


An indispensible condition of every court case in the U.S. is "Due Process." That means a meaningful opportunity to be present and be heard. To send someone overseas then make it financially impossible for them to attend proceedings violates due process.

My recommendation is that you consult with a family law attorney in Malaysia, inform him or her of the situation so you will be best directed on how to protect yourself and your child if and when the proceedings begin. You also could take the first step and file for divorce in Malaysia, The court there will have jurisdiction over you and the child and can make a custody award to you in Malaysia. In that case, you would have a custody decree that he would have to honor. Malaysia and the U.S. both are signatories to the Hague Convention and have to honor each other's custody decrees.

If it were me in your spot I would immediately file for divorce in Malaysia and for custody of the child. Beat him to the courthouse door and your major worries may well be eliminated.
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Old Aug 30th, 2012, 11:06 AM   #5
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-Friend In Court- Thank u thank u thank u!!! Your advice is very much appreciated!
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