I do not want my kids traveling abroad with my ex, do I have to consent?

[golfrules]

My kids are 9 and 11. I have been seperated from my ex for 8 yrs. I have been with my new partner for over 7 yrs and she has been introduced to my ex.
My ex has been with a new man for just under 2 yrs now and I have never met him.
He wont even roll down the window and say hello when they drop off the kids on my weekends. My ex makes the kids call him daddy and made the kids lie to me about their marrige and a million other things over the past few years.
We have joint custody at this time. The newest problem to arise is the fact that she wants to take the kids to Florida this summer, she has asked me vis email to consent and I have sent her a reply that I do not consent and the reasons why. Some of the many reasons are:
1. My kids are weak swimmers.
2. I dont know if my ex or her new partner can swim or would even be capable of rescuing my kids from the water if there were ever an emergency.
3. I dont know the people she will be going on the trip with
4. If something were to happen, I would have no way of finding out as my ex never contacts me about anything and if I did get told that something had happened and I needed to be thwere, I would have no way of getting to Florida
5. My ex has a proven past history of letting the children wander around by them selves unattended.
And the list goes on but my main concern is that now she has sent me paperwork fileing a motion (which she wants me to pay the fees for by the way) stating that if I do not consent that they wil get a court order to make me sign a consent form.
Can I legally be forced to sign something like this even though I an looking out for the best intrest of the safety of my kids? Can I be forced to get them a passport?

[sandyclaus]

Originally Posted by golfrules My kids are 9 and 11. I have been seperated from my ex for 8 yrs. I have been with my new partner for over 7 yrs and she has been introduced to my ex. My ex has been with a new man for just under 2 yrs now and I have never met him. He wont even roll down the window and say hello when they drop off the kids on my weekends. My ex makes the kids call him daddy and made the kids lie to me about their marrige and a million other things over the past few years. We have joint custody at this time. The newest problem to arise is the fact that she wants to take the kids to Florida this summer, she has asked me vis email to consent and I have sent her a reply that I do not consent and the reasons why. Some of the many reasons are: 1. My kids are weak swimmers. 2. I dont know if my ex or her new partner can swim or would even be capable of rescuing my kids from the water if there were ever an emergency. 3. I dont know the people she will be going on the trip with 4. If something were to happen, I would have no way of finding out as my ex never contacts me about anything and if I did get told that something had happened and I needed to be thwere, I would have no way of getting to Florida 5. My ex has a proven past history of letting the children wander around by them selves unattended. And the list goes on but my main concern is that now she has sent me paperwork fileing a motion (which she wants me to pay the fees for by the way) stating that if I do not consent that they wil get a court order to make me sign a consent form. Can I legally be forced to sign something like this even though I an looking out for the best intrest of the safety of my kids? Can I be forced to get them a passport?

Let them file their motion. You can voice your concerns in court, and your ex will say whatever she will in order to convince the judge to allow it. The judge is going to be the one to make the ultimate decision, and whatever the decision is would be whatever is in the childrens' best interest.

[Friend In Court]

Originally Posted by golfrules My kids are 9 and 11. I have been seperated from my ex for 8 yrs. I have been with my new partner for over 7 yrs and she has been introduced to my ex. My ex has been with a new man for just under 2 yrs now and I have never met him. He wont even roll down the window and say hello when they drop off the kids on my weekends. My ex makes the kids call him daddy and made the kids lie to me about their marrige and a million other things over the past few years. We have joint custody at this time. The newest problem to arise is the fact that she wants to take the kids to Florida this summer, she has asked me vis email to consent and I have sent her a reply that I do not consent and the reasons why. Some of the many reasons are: 1. My kids are weak swimmers. 2. I dont know if my ex or her new partner can swim or would even be capable of rescuing my kids from the water if there were ever an emergency. 3. I dont know the people she will be going on the trip with 4. If something were to happen, I would have no way of finding out as my ex never contacts me about anything and if I did get told that something had happened and I needed to be thwere, I would have no way of getting to Florida 5. My ex has a proven past history of letting the children wander around by them selves unattended. And the list goes on but my main concern is that now she has sent me paperwork fileing a motion (which she wants me to pay the fees for by the way) stating that if I do not consent that they wil get a court order to make me sign a consent form. Can I legally be forced to sign something like this even though I an looking out for the best intrest of the safety of my kids? Can I be forced to get them a passport?

No, you cannot be forced to cooperate for your children to obtain passports. With your concerns, quite the opposite would be expected -- a court order restraining the parents from obtaining a passport -- or if passports exist, to turn them in to the court.

If she applies to the court for an order allowing her to take the children abroad, you may contest and/or condition such travel upon her posting sufficient bond for you to retrieve the children should she not return them promptly. $20,000 or more is not unusual.

You might also consider giving your children swimming lessons. It is in their best interests to be safe on, in or around water, anyway.

[Factsfirst]

Yes the court can force you to sign for the passports. I disagree with what friend in court said, it's not likely the judge will issue a restraining order against issuing passports. Not least of all becuase you're not requesting that of the court. None of the reasons you listed are serious enough for the court to say it's not in the children's best interests to travel abroad. The swimming question could pose a risk at a backyard swimming pool anywhere. Unless you have some reason to distrust your ex's judgement and can prove it in court, the court will say that she can decide who she allows to travel with the children and that they pose no risk to them. The lack of communication can be resolved by court ordered scheduled notifications, and your financial inability to travel IF something happened, would not be sufficient to prevent the children from having the opportunity to travel the world. If your ex is capable of caring for the children, you'd have to prove that she would be less capable on a vacation abroad.

[golfrules]

so basicaly what you are saying is that I have no right to make decisions in my kids lives.,..I am the biological father! So the court could say that even though the father STRONGLY disagrees, go ahead and take them anyways? someone tell me I am dreaming! This must be a nightmare I cannot wake up from

[Friend In Court]

Well, I maintain what I stated in my post. The poster from Switzerland's information may be relevant for Switzerland where countries are contiguous and international travel does not mean across an ocean or two. And parental kidnapping may not be as much a problem there as it is worldwide.

Restrictions on international travel are quite common -- as well as courts requiring one surrender any passports they have on children. It is not a parent's right to take a child globetrotting, either, especially if the other parent objects.

The element of possible alienation is something that is of concern: Having the new man in her life require the children to call him "daddy." That is a red flag for you to discuss with your attorney.

My recommendation is that you seek the advice of a family law attorney to represent you.