Discretion Rights To A Full Custody Holder

[MisRead_Or_Being_MisLead]

Hi I'm new here and in need of some desperate answers.

First off I am a Full custoday holder of my 6 yr old daughter that was finalized in a Uncontested hearing after serving her father 6 times and him being a no show!

Now he was offered rights to access at my discretion, reason being he was as the judge described "A convenient father not a consistant father" so insaying I allowed him a few chances and struggled very hard to get him to co-operate with each thing I asked of him when I did allow access. He broke every single rule (which I knew he would) after putting up with it for 3 months and constantly being worried, stressed, unknown where my daughter was while in his care, I stopped his visitation for good and told him that he was no longer entitled to any type of contact until he took me back to court.

That was 2 years ago, he has not once tried to call, nor has he ever followed the support order agreement either, twice his taxes have been taken for arrears, and every single job he's had since the court order has had a garnishment placed on his wages, I was contacted by his new g/f about 3 weeks ago stating they were finally taking me back to court and the papers were in the mail, well of course low and behold those papers never arrived, once again my 6 year old was let down by her father, now onto my question.

I get a phone call tonight stating I'm a Criminal "according to them" even though I have full custody and it is my discretion to allow access, and its the 1st Ive heard from them in 2 years now, there's a chance I may loose custody or they will definately receive joint custoday if they take me back to court, because permantely stopping the visitation is Illegal, I was not allowed to do this and I will be crimanally charged, they want me to just give back there rights and they will cancel the court proceedings they've supposidly started and also not even give the thought of having me charged a second thought!

Can this really happen, can I be charged, could I loose custody totally or could they after 2 years of no contact, 6 no show court appearances be granted joint custody just like that, is what Ive done really a crime, some-one please help, Im am a bag of nerves!

Thanks ever so much!

Originally Posted by MisRead_Or_Being_MisLead Hi I'm new here and in need of some desperate answers. First off I am a Full custoday holder of my 6 yr old daughter that was finalized in a Uncontested hearing after serving her father 6 times and him being a no show! Now he was offered rights to access at my discretion, reason being he was as the judge described "A convenient father not a consistant father" so insaying I allowed him a few chances and struggled very hard to get him to co-operate with each thing I asked of him when I did allow access. He broke every single rule (which I knew he would) after putting up with it for 3 months and constantly being worried, stressed, unknown where my daughter was while in his care, I stopped his visitation for good and told him that he was no longer entitled to any type of contact until he took me back to court. That was 2 years ago, he has not once tried to call, nor has he ever followed the support order agreement either, twice his taxes have been taken for arrears, and every single job he's had since the court order has had a garnishment placed on his wages, I was contacted by his new g/f about 3 weeks ago stating they were finally taking me back to court and the papers were in the mail, well of course low and behold those papers never arrived, once again my 6 year old was let down by her father, now onto my question. I get a phone call tonight stating I'm a Criminal "according to them" even though I have full custody and it is my discretion to allow access, and its the 1st Ive heard from them in 2 years now, there's a chance I may loose custody or they will definately receive joint custoday if they take me back to court, because permantely stopping the visitation is Illegal, I was not allowed to do this and I will be crimanally charged, they want me to just give back there rights and they will cancel the court proceedings they've supposidly started and also not even give the thought of having me charged a second thought! Can this really happen, can I be charged, could I loose custody totally or could they after 2 years of no contact, 6 no show court appearances be granted joint custody just like that, is what Ive done really a crime, some-one please help, Im am a bag of nerves! Thanks ever so much!

THEY cant take you to court, only dad can. his gf is a legal stranger with no rights or standing where your daughter is concerned. but, you had no right to stop the visitation on your own, you must ask a court to restrict his visitation. next time his gf calls, tell her this is between you and dad, and to not call you again, legally, this is not her business. if she persists, id look into getting a ro

[okellis]

I knew when I started reading your post that a woman was going to come into the picture and make a stink over the visitation.
I can guarantee this wouldn't be happening if she weren't there now.

That said, the girlfriend is full of crap. If what you said about the visitation being your discretion is completely true, you haven't done anything wrong. Even if it weren't completely true, you have NOT done anything criminal. For crying out loud. The nerve of some people.

To start with, do NOT speak to this gf again. She is nothing in this but a trouble maker.
Secondly, if some kind of paperwork ever does show up, hire a lawyer. It's pretty doubtful dad is gonna get anything more than supervised visitation to begin with anyway. Especially if you get the same judge. If they push the issue, push back. Insist on supervised visits, followed by maybe 1/2 day visits. No guarantee, but I bet the court would go for that. I also bet dad and gf will drop off the earth. Good riddance.

[MisRead_Or_Being_MisLead]

Originally Posted by Unregistered THEY cant take you to court, only dad can. his gf is a legal stranger with no rights or standing where your daughter is concerned. but, you had no right to stop the visitation on your own, you must ask a court to restrict his visitation. next time his gf calls, tell her this is between you and dad, and to not call you again, legally, this is not her business. if she persists, id look into getting a ro

Oh my lawyer was fully aware, her and I both knew he was gonna pull the stunt he did, and the judge and his lawyer both told him that being a father is consistant not convenience, I offered the "Descrition" rule on my own, under the ground rules that he became a consistant father and he didnt, so after the 3 months of his lies and crap, I decided to tell him that I wanted him to take me to court and prove to the judge that he could do it, because all he was doing was playing me over and crushing our daughter's feelings big time.

So in saying that just proves that he knew he had the power to fool me and didn't care to let the judge decide when he could have the rights he deserved, because the judge knew his back ground.

I know if it was me and that was the case, if I wanted to see her bad enough I would have been filing papers ASAP to prove myself, unlike him and waiting 2 years because now its convenient for him!

Hope this makes sense, I get sooooo frustrated when I talk about it, it just sickens me!

But thanks for the reply!!

Frankly he has no chance!

[worriedmommy2]

Again I have same issue dad dropped out when youngest was a baby when he had only seen her maybe 5 time in her first year. Now his wife wants them all the time and I am not allowed to speak to him AT ALL about OUR kids. Again I am trying to get a court date. I do not want to cut visits, but I think it is to much for them. My oldest started failing. among some other things. And I want to deal with just him. not the home wrecker he knocked up while married to me and me being pregnant. Can I make it where he is the only one I deal with. With the problems some being more severe than others can I get a small modification.please help. I can give details if you need them. I just do not want to really let myself known.

[okellis]

You absolutely do not have to talk to her. It's not like she can make you. If dad doesn't have the balls to do his own talking, then it's his loss.
She can only take advantage of you if you allow her to. Don't !!
Make it very clear to dad that you will deal with him and him only. When she tries to butt in again, walk away, hang up, shut the door in her face, whatever the occassion calls for.

[MisRead_Or_Being_MisLead]

Originally Posted by worriedmommy2 Again I have same issue dad dropped out when youngest was a baby when he had only seen her maybe 5 time in her first year. Now his wife wants them all the time and I am not allowed to speak to him AT ALL about OUR kids. Again I am trying to get a court date. I do not want to cut visits, but I think it is to much for them. My oldest started failing. among some other things. And I want to deal with just him. not the home wrecker he knocked up while married to me and me being pregnant. Can I make it where he is the only one I deal with. With the problems some being more severe than others can I get a small modification.please help. I can give details if you need them. I just do not want to really let myself known.

First off she's the 1 not allowing you to talk to him, right? Well she can't make that decesion, if anything at all they would be entitled to a mediator, however, "dad" is making himself look like an idiot, mature aldults should'nt let someone make decisions for them, he should be a man and tell her to mind her business so the children can have a ongoing loving bond with their "daddy".

In saying all this, I don't think any judge would allow such a piss pour excuse like "My New Wife Says We Can't Talk" and would probably be very hard on him for being an "idiot". I would bet money when or if you go to court, he will be in for a HUGE surprise, there's limited tolerance in family court now a days, especially dealing with ones like this, that should not need to be there at all.

Your not doing anything wrong at all, bide your time and don't give into them, only thing I would suggest is that you not be the one to file the case, I would leave it totally in his hands, see how long it really does take, thats what I did, our judge told him he would have to be the one to file if he wanted any chances, it's now been 2 years and still no file.

I would be glad to help in any other way if you need me, please don't hesitate to ask, I understand that you didnt wanna go into to much detail in the forum, but please feel free to IM me at anytime aswell!!

[worriedmommy2]

Thank you. I talked to my lawyer and we are biding our time. She wants me to take it slow said sooner or later given enough rope he would hang himself.

[MisRead_Or_Being_MisLead]

Very True, Good Idea, Keep In Touch If You Like!!