Grandparent trying to save Grandchild

This is a discussion on Grandparent trying to save Grandchild within the Child Custody & Support forum, part of the FAMILY LAW, DIVORCE, CUSTODY category; I have a son who is living with a girl and she is pregnant. It is the worst situation possile. ...

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Old Oct 26th, 2011, 08:24 PM   #1
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Confused Grandparent trying to save Grandchild

I have a son who is living with a girl and she is pregnant. It is the worst situation possile. He beats her, he deals drugs, he/she does drugs, she told my daughter she actually smokes pot while pregnant. She won't leave him even though she is due in March 2012. I am afraid she will have this child and it will be hurt or worse yet, killed. My son has been in prison, he has been in jail, he is currently on probation. He intimidates people, he attacks the weak, he steals, he lies, he is mentally and physically abusive. He has been diagnosed with ADHD, Bi-polar, Manic Depressive Disorder, Oppositional Defiant Disorder and Anti-Social Disorder. His recent drug of choice was bath salts. He is currently on SSI and refuses to get help. He self medicates. She calls me to pick her up during his rampages and then she goes back. I need to get the baby out of the situation before it even starts but I am a Grandparent and nothing more. I don't know what to do. The girls mother has had 5 DWI's and recently an OVI. There is no stability for this unborn child and it scares me. Where do I go and what do I do?
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Old Oct 26th, 2011, 11:27 PM   #2
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Default Re: Grandparent trying to save Grandchild

I wish to inform you that as your son is not married thus he may first have to establish paternity in order for you to enforce your rights. As child is unborn thus paternity may be established only after child is born. Once paternity is established then you may go to court and can claim child visitation rights. Custody of child is generally provided to parents so mother may have custody of child. Further if parents of child agree then you can have temporary custody of child.

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Old Oct 27th, 2011, 06:26 AM   #3
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Default Re: Grandparent trying to save Grandchild

From the facts of the case the most probable chance of child custody will goes to the mother of the child. Your son seems to be an unfit parent. If you are willing to take custody of the child you need parental permission.
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Old Oct 27th, 2011, 04:22 PM   #4
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Default Re: Grandparent trying to save Grandchild

The girl needs a safe place to stay -- and one where he cannot reach her to influence her. One of these times when she wants to escape, get her to a domestic violence shelter. The advantages are that she will be safe, have the professional support she needs and also education so you can make a better informed choice as to whether to go back or not. She may. But then again, once safe, her needs provided for and informed of where the situation is going, she just may choose to stay safe and begin taking care of herself for herself and her child.

Legal help, medical referrals are all available to her there, too. There is a national domestic violence hotline which can refer you and her to the local agencies in your community.

She is fortunate to have you to care about her. Continue being here for her and guide her to the help she needs.
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Old Oct 27th, 2011, 08:19 PM   #5
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Default Re: Grandparent trying to save Grandchild

Even though it was not what I wanted to hear I just wanted to say thank you for your time and your responses. I feel hopeless and helpless. I know they would never let me have custody without a fight. I just hope and pray that she wakes up and becomes a real mother and realizes that she is her childs voice and if she doesn't keep them safe that the consequences could be deadly. My heart is heavy and as time gets nearer it just makes it harder to sleep. I pray daily that my son will get the help that he needs.
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Old Oct 28th, 2011, 07:29 AM   #6
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Default Re: Grandparent trying to save Grandchild

With what she is enduring, between the abuse meted out at the hands of her boyfriend together with the drugs she is doing, becoming a mother is not a sure thing. She should not be going through the pregnancy suffering either for she is risking not just her personal safety but risking losing the child she is carrying. Your son beating a pregnant woman? Providing her drugs? If you wish to become a grandmother she needs out of there asap!

She needs to be safe, our from under the threats, the violence, and a chance to get her head together so she can provide for herself and her child in a safe, wholesome environment. The addresses of domestic violence shelters are confidential, the premises well secured against possible intruders and the staff there will give her the support she needs, practical as well as legal help so she can begin to get on her own two feet.
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