Frustrated: My ex husband has been a huge cause of stress in my life

[Smartredcookie]

Hello,


I need some advice, obviously, is why I am here.

I already know I need to hire a lawyer. I have spoken to one via telephone. September I will financially be able to pay one. In the meantime, I need some advice.

My ex husband has been a huge cause of stress in my life and my childrens always. Thats why I divorced the guy. Our problems are finally at a level 10, and I need some relief. My kids are 10 and 13. Most of their lives he has been mostly not around. Only picking them up a couple times a year. Too busy dating and running around. He has only had 1 full time job since the divorce 9 years ago. He has already been on probation 1 time for failure to pay support. He doesnt cover their medical, dental, nor does he pay support currently. He is almost $8000.00 behind.

The issue is, almost 2 years ago, he had a girlfriend break up with him then take him to court for child support (he has 2 other kids by 2 other girls-non of which he actually supports)...so he started working with a Fathers Rights Group in an effort to seek vengeance on her. A 2 year custody battle ensued. At which time he started picking up OUR 2 kids every visitation,and even more often in some cases, like he is supposed to. At first I just thought he was finally starting to act like a good father. (At the time I wasnt aware of the other court battle or the Group he was working with).

Then the kids came home reporting things that were disturbing (he isnt molesting or beating them..but is doing inappropriate sexual things in front of them and other things)...The kids started acting strange. Depressed and getting in trouble at school-grades dropping. I tried discussing things with him and it always ended in him denying everything and huge fights. So I decided to only allow visits by the court order. My kids didnt want to go sometimes. Because of all the stress at his house. And all their lives he allowed them to choose till he got mad at me, and now he is forcing his visits on them. He told me he would have me arrested and have me charged with contempt so for over a year, I made the kids go. Thinking I would be in lots of trouble if I didnt.

Last summer was the first summer he forced them to stay for 30 days. He had a new girlfriend and she was being extremely vulgar and rude to the kids. My 13 year old son was texting me begging me to come get them. My ex said no. When they came home, my 13 yr old was angry. The next visit when my ex showed up, my child refused to get in the car. I decided not to make him go and to let my ex handle it however he thought he needed to so he gave up trying to force my son but he guilted my 10 yr old daughter in to going. Things have gotten so bad I talked to a lawyer. He advised me I had a good case and needed to get to court. Most recently, I moved to a new city. Not far away from the one I was living in. But I havent given my ex my address. I know he will show up and try to force his visits and I feel powerless to stop it right now. So all I can do is not give him the info until I can get representation. I would love to make it where the kids have a choice. And that he has to meet me at a public place. He actually tried to force my son by physical contact in to the car one time so I am trying to avoid that. I plan on hiring a lawyer very soon. In the meantime he called me up today, threatening me again...saying I needed to force my daughter to call him. Saying I was going to jail for not letting him see the kids.

I am scared, honestly...that what he is saying could be true. But I need to get relief for my kids. He is running an internet IT business. He has his girlfriend collect payments under her name. The clients send the money to her Paypal Acct. He has been doing this for years (but previously under his brothers name)...as a way to claim he is jobless and poor to the courts to get sympathy so he wont get in trouble for not paying support. He tells me all the time, if I take him to court, the court wont sentence him to jail and he wont agree to probation again...and, he will lower his support. Can he do all this and continue to not have to pay? Please...advice NOT JUDGEMENTS are needed...

Let me make myself clear when I say that it is not because he is behind on support that I decided not to give him my new address...this is NOT a simple tit for tat. So...keep that in mind when replying.

[AFFA]

I wish to inform you that you may file for modification of the child custody order. You may file the case in the same court which issued the orders previously as it has continuing jurisdiction in the matter. You may inform the court of all the facts. The court would also like to know the opinion of the children in the matter. You may inform the court of the abuse by your ex and his method of not showing income from the internet business. You may also inform about the arrears in child support and the threats made by your ex. The court will decide the matter keeping in mind the best interests of the children.

AFF