Moving out of state. Seeking primary custody. Abusive Ex.

[ree01ree]

NE... I am in the process of moving out of town to VA. I informed my ex boyfriend that I was considering doing so. He got very angry and took my son. After telling him I was only considering moving he then returned him. He usually on sees him once a week. Sometimes once every 2 weeks for a few hours during the day. He is not yet on child support. However his name is on the birth certificateHe has not contributed financially to the support of his child. He was abusive when we were together. Police were called to my residence once. When we broke up the police we called to my job because he made a scene and took my car. Which he later returned . He has threatened me on a couple of occasions via Text message. I have never with held my son from him, however I need to move to be away from him. Also I feel it would be in the best interest of my child. He has a very extensive criminal record. And a history of domestic violence with another person. And he is also considered an active gang member by the police dept. Even when I told him I was considering moving, I was willing to let him have visitation. He threatened to take me to court to make me stay in NE. Should I move first then file for custody or should I file before I leave? I also have 2 other children that are not by him and witnessed the abuse. What are my chances of getting custody without having to stay in NE

[grim509]

You can file for sole custody and to have his parental rights stripped. (Actually, because you were not married, he has no recognized parental rights) You have the legal right to move with the child, currently. However, keep in mind, if he were to choose to do so, he could file after you move and the court could order the child be returned to the local area of the father. Even in you lived in VA, if he files quickly, you would have to return to NE for court. (Location of court is determined by the length of time a child has lived in a location.)

With him having a criminal record, and being recognized by the police dept. as a gang member, it would make it much easier to gain sole custody. Speak with an attorney before making your decision (most offer free consultations).

[Friend In Court]

Originally Posted by ree01ree NE... I am in the process of moving out of town to VA. I informed my ex boyfriend that I was considering doing so. He got very angry and took my son. After telling him I was only considering moving he then returned him. He usually on sees him once a week. Sometimes once every 2 weeks for a few hours during the day. He is not yet on child support. However his name is on the birth certificateHe has not contributed financially to the support of his child. He was abusive when we were together. Police were called to my residence once. When we broke up the police we called to my job because he made a scene and took my car. Which he later returned . He has threatened me on a couple of occasions via Text message. I have never with held my son from him, however I need to move to be away from him. Also I feel it would be in the best interest of my child. He has a very extensive criminal record. And a history of domestic violence with another person. And he is also considered an active gang member by the police dept. Even when I told him I was considering moving, I was willing to let him have visitation. He threatened to take me to court to make me stay in NE. Should I move first then file for custody or should I file before I leave? I also have 2 other children that are not by him and witnessed the abuse. What are my chances of getting custody without having to stay in NE

If you have documentary proof of the domestic violence against you, you may leave at any time taking your child with you. The text messages,if you saved them will be helpful.

No state or law will make one return to a domestic violence situation where the person is a threat to you or your child. That is one instance in which the UCCJA and Parental Kidnapping Act make an exception.

The best strategy since he has taken the child upon your mentioning you wanted to relocate is to say nothing. Make your plans. Then move without telling him when or where.

File for custody in the new state to which you move. As to support, he will have to submit himself to the jurisdiction of the new state for visitation and support rights and obligation. If you end up on state assistance in the new state, the state's support enforcement will locate him and get a support order.

It is unwise to stick around and be a victim -- not just for yourself, but your child's welfare. Move if you feel threatened and it serves the best interests of you and your child.

Originally Posted by ree01ree NE... I am in the process of moving out of town to VA. I informed my ex boyfriend that I was considering doing so. He got very angry and took my son. After telling him I was only considering moving he then returned him. He usually on sees him once a week. Sometimes once every 2 weeks for a few hours during the day. He is not yet on child support. However his name is on the birth certificateHe has not contributed financially to the support of his child. He was abusive when we were together. Police were called to my residence once. When we broke up the police we called to my job because he made a scene and took my car. Which he later returned . He has threatened me on a couple of occasions via Text message. I have never with held my son from him, however I need to move to be away from him. Also I feel it would be in the best interest of my child. He has a very extensive criminal record. And a history of domestic violence with another person. And he is also considered an active gang member by the police dept. Even when I told him I was considering moving, I was willing to let him have visitation. He threatened to take me to court to make me stay in NE. Should I move first then file for custody or should I file before I leave? I also have 2 other children that are not by him and witnessed the abuse. What are my chances of getting custody without having to stay in NE

Since you let the cat out of the bag, he's probably already consulted with an attorney about filing a petition to block you from taking his son away from him.

His relationship with you is entirely separate from his relationship with his child. It's for that reason he can block your attempt to take his son too far a distance to be reasonably attainable for him to still maintain a relationship with his child.

You have not made claim that he's abusive to his child. That will work in his favor in court.

You cannot file for custody or child support in your new state until you've proven residency and jurisdiction. That's a six month time frame.

You can't file to have his "rights stripped" because your situation does not meet the criteria. He would fight it anyway and a judge will side with him on that issue. Courts are very reluctant to sever rights.

You already have sole legal custody by default - as - you are an unwed mother.