Ex wife trying to move to another state... Would the judge allow this?

[squidpunk22]

In 2006 my ex wife tried to take our son and move to North Carolina. I wouldn't allow it and the judge ordered that either one of us could move more then 50 miles without the others permission. She is now informing me that in March of 2012 she is moving to North Carolina and we can either come up with an arrangement or go in front of the judge. She is stating because she has a job now and will be transferring that the judge will probably allow her to go because she is unable to afford living cost here (in NY). I see my son on Sundays and holidays. I'm wondering if the judge would really allow this and if my ex wife would have to try and prove me to be an uninvolved or unfit father.

Originally Posted by squidpunk22 In 2006 my ex wife tried to take our son and move to North Carolina. I wouldn't allow it and the judge ordered that either one of us could move more then 50 miles without the others permission. She is now informing me that in March of 2012 she is moving to North Carolina and we can either come up with an arrangement or go in front of the judge. She is stating because she has a job now and will be transferring that the judge will probably allow her to go because she is unable to afford living cost here (in NY). I see my son on Sundays and holidays. I'm wondering if the judge would really allow this and if my ex wife would have to try and prove me to be an uninvolved or unfit father.

Why not take that information, document it, and strike while the iron is hot and petition the court for custody of your child?

She cannot predict what the judge will decide and order.

Even if she wins and a judge allows her to move, she'll end up paying traveling expenses so you can continue having a relationship with your child.

[Lexus]

First of all let me remind you that both the parents have equal rights on their children. As there is a court order specifying that either of you could move more than 50 miles without others permission, that means , either of you do not have the right to take your child along with you. Now if she is trying to take the child along with her, you can very well challenge the same. Even if she could win the case, the judge cannot invalidate your visitation right as a father. So if you insist on visitation rights she will be forced to bring the child on all visitation days ordered by the court. Mean time you can try to get the custody of the child by filing a custody petition. In custody petition court will consider the best interest of the child. So you have to convince the court that you have petitioned in the best interest of the child. It seems that it is better to move to court than making an arrangement in between. It is better advised that you may consult with a Family Law Attorney ASAP, who can give a proper guidance in this regard.

[Friend In Court]

A judge will weigh many factors before modifying the original order restricting a parent from moving with the children to another state, depriving the children of the regular access to the other parent. The need of a parent to earn a living, contact with relatives for the children are a few the judge will weigh against depriving them of the other parent's regular contact and company plus the age of the children, their ties to the community -- school, friends, etc.

This is a perfect time to revisit the custody decree, perhaps changing residency to the other parent with liberal visitation, e.g. summer with the other. From the way the original decree was written with the 50-mile restriction, the judge was determined to keep the children within easy access to the non custodial parent. If the matter comes before the same judge, the North Carolina move [which the ex seems determined to move to since this is the second time in 5 years she has insisted on making that move], the judge might be very amenable to primary custody to the father.

[Friend In Court]

An additional approach you might take is to also address the long term ramifications on your son from moving from NY to NC and that is their educational, societal and cultural needs. Comparing the opportunities between NY and the NC community might be another series of arguments in favor of keeping him in New York. You did not mention whether you are in the metropolitan area or upstate, but it will be a cultural shock no doubt for him to move from New York to North Carolina and if you can present the judge with well founded arguments showing better opportunities for education, etc. remaining in New York that might tip the scales in favor of keeping him in New York and changing residency to you.

[squidpunk22]

Thank you for the responses. My son has asperger's syndrome and attends weekly therapy sessions and is also in special education programs. He is very close to my side of the family and they even contact my ex wife and make arrangements with her to take my son places. I also have a 3 year old son and am expecting a daughter in September so I just can't imagine a judge granting her permission to take my son away from everything.

I considered allowing this if she was going to pay all travel expenses but I don't think it's right to have an 8 year old go back and forth from one state to another all the time. This isn't the first time she has threatened to move she usually brings it up about once a year but now she has a job that will transfer her, which she did not the other times she has mentioned this.

During our divorce I did try for primary custody of my son and the judge did not grant it. We have gone back to court a few times over the last couple of years for other things and the judge always appears to grant my ex whatever she wants so should I attempt to file for custody again or is there anyway I can go to court now and tell them that she is planning this move or do I have to wait until my ex goes to court and files to be able to move?