visitation

my boyfriend has 4 children 11,7,and two twin 3 year olds. We went through hell going to fla from ny to get to know these twins during a custody battle over the last two years. gradually we went from a couple hours to 10 days. Last Thanksgiving was our first long visitation over about 4 days we stayed at a beach resort and had a fabulous time. Xmas came 3 kids jumped in and the one twin looked tired and was crying saying she didn't want to come. His ex wouldn't let her down and eventually we left with only the older ones for a week at xmas to ny. The courts did nothing but to state that whoever caused havok in the final visitation will pay for both attorneys. So at spring break we didn't tell we were bring them home until we arrived to avoid her causing mental anguish on the kids and we had agreat time. Now we are into summer break which starts five weeks but she was suppose to come get twins after a week and a half and bring them back after a week and a half for the last week and a half and yes the court attorneys and law guardian messed up because there was 5 extra days. Well she has used the 5 extra days and called today complaining how she has to drive 700 miles to get them and bring them back and saying the one twin doesn't want to come and all week they have been telling the daughter the other twin is being real bad because she wants to be here no there. We flew to fla and flew them all back now she is suppose to pick up and return these twins and is already starting problems if not here tomorrow we will not even get our last week and a half with them. We were also suppose to bring them back to fla and she said from the first week of summer she was picking them up at summers end. Now she is saying today 10 days out it's to much and she isn't picking them up at end we have to return them. We have done all the driving to and from fla. and she was the one wanting the divorce and that wanted to move from NY to fla. How can we make her do some driving after two years all 4 children stay for 6 weeks but we do all transportation. Also what do we do about her saying the twin doesn't want to come said she talked to her attorney and he said you don't have to send the one twin if she's in duress?? She did this last xmas and this twin said for weeks after how she did want to come on the phone with her dad it's just a game trying to keep the twins from him. We also just found out they are still giving these 3 1/2 year olds bottles they haven't had bottles with us in over a year and I spoke to their pediatrician and they weren't aware either?? Help

The order has to be followed no matter what or the court will normally hold a party in contempt. If you or the ex want to change the situation or get a more detailed order (if you cannot agree), then you need to go back into court unfortunately.

[missingmyhubby]

Originally Posted by Unregistered

The order has to be followed no matter what or the court will normally hold a party in contempt. If you or the ex want to change the situation or get a more detailed order (if you cannot agree), then you need to go back into court unfortunately.

actually, only dad can get the court order changed-his gf is a legal stranger here, and she really needs to drop the "we" from her vocabulary, the only "we" in this is her bf and the childrens' mother. it will end up hurting her bf's case.

[worriedmommy2]

Originally Posted by missingmyhubby

actually, only dad can get the court order changed-his gf is a legal stranger here, and she really needs to drop the "we" from her vocabulary, the only "we" in this is her bf and the childrens' mother. it will end up hurting her bf's case.

Is that the same as with a stepmother?

[missingmyhubby]

Originally Posted by worriedmommy2

Is that the same as with a stepmother?

yup. stepparents, bf's, gf's fiancee's. fiance's etc are legal strangers to their partner's child/children, and have no legal say or standing where the children are concerned, no matter how long they have been in their lives, they are not the parent, and cannot and should not get involved in legal matters concerning the children, that is strictly between the mother and father. and it will really annoy the judge.

Originally Posted by missingmyhubby

yup. stepparents, bf's, gf's fiancee's. fiance's etc are legal strangers to their partner's child/children, and have no legal say or standing where the children are concerned, no matter how long they have been in their lives, they are not the parent, and cannot and should not get involved in legal matters concerning the children, that is strictly between the mother and father. and it will really annoy the judge.

Are you an attorny or Paralegal? How can a person go about pushing the matter of the step parent staying OUT of my business with my kids? Can that be like a stipulation or somehting in new custody papers? Cause right now my ex is not in it it is all the step. She is consatantly trying to cause problems. She was one of those home wreckers so to speak and know she is after my kids? Any adivice will help. She is also puting her name as mother on all forms she signs for them. Please help I am very territorial whe nit comes to my children they are my life. I almost died bringing them in this world. I just want for the step mother to back off and wake up and let their dad deal with anything to do with them. Please give any advice youhave.

[missingmyhubby]

Originally Posted by Unregistered

Are you an attorny or Paralegal? How can a person go about pushing the matter of the step parent staying OUT of my business with my kids? Can that be like a stipulation or somehting in new custody papers? Cause right now my ex is not in it it is all the step. She is consatantly trying to cause problems. She was one of those home wreckers so to speak and know she is after my kids? Any adivice will help. She is also puting her name as mother on all forms she signs for them. Please help I am very territorial whe nit comes to my children they are my life. I almost died bringing them in this world. I just want for the step mother to back off and wake up and let their dad deal with anything to do with them. Please give any advice youhave.

sounds like stepmom is stepping way over the line here. dad should not allow his wife to sign her name as the mother, when she is a legal stranger. a judge will not be happy about that. id bring it up in court, the judge will tell stepmom to butt out, and let you and the kids father deal with matters concerning the children. no im not a lawyer or paralegal, im also a stepmom, but i am a stepmom who knows how to mind her own business.