Visitation when child is infant

My husband and I are seperated. We have a 9 month old son. My ex is threatening to ask for 50% custody if I ask for support. I have been his primary caregiver since he was born. (My ex has never spent a whole day alone with them.) I understand that with children this young the courts will not allow overnight visitation. Is this true? Any advice is appreciated.

Hi! After 2 divorces, (the first when my daughter was 5 months old) it is my understanding that it is very difficult to take time away from moms (unless mom has drug/other mental health issues/problems). I can just about guarantee that a judge won't use visitation time as punishment. The know RULES, where us normal people know feelings...If you have been the primary care giverr all along, you shouldn't have anything to worry about. My personal advice though, is get a lawyer! I have spent the last 3 years trying to do it myself (because I couldnt afford one and he had one from the start).I recently found out that thru family law 2030 (in california at least), you can make hime pay for an attorney for you, if you can show that he has enough money to do so, and you do not. You can also see if you qualify to haveyour court costs waved, or get financing if you don't. If you aren't getting support, you need to get a court order for it ASAP. I took less than I should have gotten for over two years, with him saying he would pay the difference when the judge ordered the amount, but the judge said NO to that idea, so don't get yourself deeper and deeper into debt waiting for him to pay!

thanks for your reply. what i didnt mention is that he has two chidlren from a previous marriage. he knows the system and has said he will do whatever it takes not to pay support. he is trying to get time with my son for the wrong reason.

Does anyone else out their have experience with overnight visitation and infants?

Thanks again.

Well, you are wrong in the fact that they WON'T grant any overight visitation with an infant... BUT the Judge will look at numerous things such as feeding (for example, if the child is only breastfed then there could be no overnight visits with the dad unless breastmilk in a bottle can be used), adequate space and equipment (like, does the dad have an age appropriate bed for the child), and if the dad can prove able to keep the child and would the child feel comfortable. If the dad hasn't spent much time with the child, then you may definately have that on your side. I recommend talking to a lawyer and do what the above poster suggested about the attorney fees as well. in addition, document, document, document. Keep a journal of what you do for the child each day and what the dad does (or does not do). Make sure that you are allowing time for the dad to see his child and make him aware of doctor's appointments, etc. Document that you did that, too - and document if the dad chooses not to show up. Take pictures, keep receipts, etc. And most of all - be careful what you say to and about the dad. Have you heard the old saying, "loose lips sinks ships"? Remember that. Judges do also look at which parent promotes a relationship between the child and the other parent. So, don't alienate the child from their dad, but like I said - document when he is late for visits, doesn't show for visits, and doesn't go to important child events. Good luck!

One way to get around the "if you ask for support" thing is this - don't ask for it. But also don't put in writing that you don't want it. MOST (not all) Judges will grant it even if it is not asked for.